Thank you all for your interesting points and comments. It's been most interesting and I thank you. I think (hope) we're doing things just fine here, sometimes it's nice to know others take on things. 
Sex Education at school. (Please bear in mind this is a "frank" post).
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Here's 'The Talk' my dad gave me, when I started seeing my first gf (aged 15, she was a year older): "You give her any problems or bring any [excrement] back here, I'll hit you so hard you'll land in the middle of next week."
It worked. The relationship, such as it ever was, didn't - we were over inside two months.
But...kids and their feelings being put into inverted commas...here's the thing: that first gf, I liked her but that was all. But a year later, at 16, I was totally gone in the head over a girl in my class. I'd known her for years, had fancied her - in that typical hormonal teenage way - on and off. But then, one day...well, I can't describe it. It was sudden and yet it wasn't. It was hormone-fuelled but also not, it was deeper, truer. Asking girls out was fairly easy. Asking this girl out was impossible, so I never did and so never knew how things might have gone. But I loved her completely, and in some way I still do, 25 years later.
I've had relationships since. Only one has really been successful (because only one has been free of the ghost; the others...well, subconsciously I'd sought out the same physical type in terms of height, build, hair colour. Sometimes the eye colour changed but not a lot, and there may have been personality traits in common...but none of them were Her). Still and all, I'd be the world's biggest liar if I said I'd ever felt again the way I felt about that girl.
In Sherlockian terms, she was - and on some level still is and always will be - The Woman. Because you never forget your first love.
It worked. The relationship, such as it ever was, didn't - we were over inside two months.
But...kids and their feelings being put into inverted commas...here's the thing: that first gf, I liked her but that was all. But a year later, at 16, I was totally gone in the head over a girl in my class. I'd known her for years, had fancied her - in that typical hormonal teenage way - on and off. But then, one day...well, I can't describe it. It was sudden and yet it wasn't. It was hormone-fuelled but also not, it was deeper, truer. Asking girls out was fairly easy. Asking this girl out was impossible, so I never did and so never knew how things might have gone. But I loved her completely, and in some way I still do, 25 years later.
I've had relationships since. Only one has really been successful (because only one has been free of the ghost; the others...well, subconsciously I'd sought out the same physical type in terms of height, build, hair colour. Sometimes the eye colour changed but not a lot, and there may have been personality traits in common...but none of them were Her). Still and all, I'd be the world's biggest liar if I said I'd ever felt again the way I felt about that girl.
In Sherlockian terms, she was - and on some level still is and always will be - The Woman. Because you never forget your first love.
One of my childhood friends had a rough time in our SE class. I can still recall him being exasperated while asking "but how does "it" get in there?" Poor kid, but today the answer would probably be after a few drinks and an expensive dinner.
...I am fully supportive of Sex-Ed(or Tom, DICK or Hairy...err Harry)...at the earliest possible age that pieces & parts will make sense to kids...also letting them know about abstinence, the right to say "NO" and what STD's and other diseases run rampant...add to that unwanted pregnancies, same sex relationships and the use of condoms and other "safe sex" devices(like a .45 semi-auto)...having nattered on about that...I got my education from my Grandpa the doctor...so it was all quite clinical...which was awkward after my first sexual experience, I gave the poor girl a bill for a gynecological exam...
Could have been worse. It could have been a prescription (with 'Yeah, thanks a bunch' written on the back).
I had a Susan Delgado.
When you lose love, you lose The Reason.
When you lose love, you lose The Reason.
Lucky for me i don't have to worry about this with my daughter for a while yet lol.
My old man tried to have the talk about 3 years after I'd already figured out everything on my own. Both my cousins who were about three years older than me were MORE than willing to educate me in how things...fit...together and how this and that worked. Then I'm riding with my old man one day when I'm around thirteen and he starts asking me if I know how babies are made?????? I told him to please stop talking and that I had already figured everything out...ahhhhh, the healthy relationship my father and I don't and never will have is utterly fascinating......lol
Yeah, my dad and I never really got on*, either. Which is strange, when you consider that the older I get, the more similarities I spot.
(* Some classic British understatement, there.)
(* Some classic British understatement, there.)
...like Gabe Kaplan said "I find myself making my father's noises when I get out of bed in the morning"....
My dad used to (and probably still does) cough a lung up, a legacy from his days as a smoker. I never started, so I don't.
But, I am a miserable git until I get my second cup of coffee...
(I never thought I looked like the old man, but I've had to start wearing specs for reading lately. They did a frame-match thing to help me decide which suited me best, I tried a pair on and there was my dad from 20 years ago. It was scary.)
But, I am a miserable git until I get my second cup of coffee...
(I never thought I looked like the old man, but I've had to start wearing specs for reading lately. They did a frame-match thing to help me decide which suited me best, I tried a pair on and there was my dad from 20 years ago. It was scary.)
Mr. Nobody...It IS scary when you look in the mirror and see your parent. Saw my mom looking back at me as I washed my hands the other day...
Did you ever follow up with 'The One'? Curious why not if you didn't.
Sex Edumacation Without Responsible Parents:
1) Watch MTV.
2) Enjoy herpes.
3) Back to 1, spread that joy!
1) Watch MTV.
2) Enjoy herpes.
3) Back to 1, spread that joy!
I have to be a bit careful. She's an SK fan, so it wouldn't be a massive shock if she was on here and I don't want to go upsetting any apple carts.
We got back in touch, briefly, back when Friends Reunited was the in-thing. It seemed like neither of us had changed much, but of course a fair bit of time had passed. I didn't say much because, at that time, she wasn't in a good place and I'd literally just moved in with someone (the one I'm still with now).
'The Woman' told me some of what she'd gone through, and I made some sort of flippant observation, covering how angry and generally peed off I felt with an attempt at light-heartedness/humour. The mails became fewer and fewer from there, and ultimately dried up completely.
Anyway, more time has passed and, from what I hear on the old-style grapevine and occasionally see on social media posts to do with her band, she's doing OK and seems happy enough, and as long as she's happy...
Well...our chats were going OK (obviously; she opened up about some personal, painful stuff, at least to a degree). I can't speak for how or what she felt, but...it went from a mail virtually every day or so, full of wamrth and detail, to...not-as-warm mails...virtually overnight. Then it was a while before I heard anything again. I assumed it was down to workload, life, etc, but apparently not - it was covered by a pretty weak excuse - and so it went.
It was stupid and 'my fault', because I should have reacted in a more natural, human way. I never did quite learn that trick, though.
Does she know...I don't think so, and I guess I'll never know for sure. If I bump into her at some future point and there's no risk of collateral damage (i.e. we're both single, for some reason), then I'd probably, finally, tell her and see what she said. But with things as they stand, I'd probably take the position of 'Let sleeping dogs lie'.
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