Sex Education at school. (Please bear in mind this is a "frank" post).

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skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
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It was pretty easy.... What WASN'T so easy was his friend who I drop off up the roads comments. He announced in the car "And we learnt you can have sex with more than one person. I knew that anyway, but it was good to really know." My boy seemed genuinely baffled with this and said "Can you?" The friend said "Yes, people that do that are called "players". They have sex with all the good looking women. They go to strip clubs and bars and that's why they're called "players"" Pretty sure that bit wasn't part of the lesson!. When I dropped the friend off, I had a casual chat with my boy and said the bit about players was kind of true but it was probably best just to have one partner at a time and have sex with someone you really cared about. Kept it all light and casual.

I think this is a good age because they are being taught, hopefully before they start tripping up on stuff on the internet. If they can learn that sex is part of a loving relationship before being exposed to internet porn, it might make them stop, look, and realise that isn't the real world on the computer, sure porn can play a part IN a loving relationship, but a relationship is better than staring at a computer screen on your own, if that actually makes any sense at all.

In second grade, I got a call that my son and three other boys were called to the principal's office for discussing 'the facts of life' with a little girl in their class. Her parents were understandably concerned (don't blame them a bit). Knowing that we'd only covered the most basic basics with our son, I was curious what they said; Josh said 'Troy' had informed all of them, then got embarrassed & wouldn't talk about it any more. When BH got home, I sent him down to son's room to find out what Troy told them & clear up any mistakes. He comes back up after a few minutes, shaking his head: "Troy is very well informed. I didn't know that much until Jr High." :D
 

DiO'Bolic

Not completely obtuse
Nov 14, 2013
22,864
129,998
Poconos, PA
At what age is a child not able to handle science and human biology? Why do we act like a basic biological function is something that is "appropriate?" We teach kids about urination and defication. We teach kids the biology of the human eye. Why is one particular function so ridiculously segregated?


Since I think it is a parent’s personal preference, based on the information of what would be taught in the grade, I can only answer your question on my own belief... I always gave permission for my kids to receive sex education in school.

Would you want me telling you what you should do with your kids (if you had kids) in this regard, based on what I think? Or would you think you're the best person to make that decision?
 

fljoe0

Cantre Member
Apr 5, 2008
15,859
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At what age is a child not able to handle science and human biology? Why do we act like a basic biological function is something that is "appropriate?" We teach kids about urination and defication. We teach kids the biology of the human eye. Why is one particular function so ridiculously segregated?

I think some people think keeping their kids in the dark will make them less promiscuous or something. I have no idea why they would think that but that always seems to be the argument when you hear people arguing against sex ed in school. It's ridiculous.
 

AnnaMarie

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2012
7,068
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Other
I have no objection to education at school. I did object to a few things. One was the fact that abstinence was not included as one of the options when discussing birth control and protecting ones self against STI's. I agree other things (like condoms) need to be discussed, but abstinence should be included as the only one that is 100% effective for both. The high school felt it was inappropriate to include it and fired someone for teaching that.

There were a few other things I objected to. Probably the worst was some links on the school board web-site that were more porn then educational. Some of the links were really bad. And this was on a portion of their site specifically for students....to view this with no information or education coinciding with it. I was one of many that felt it was inappropriate.
 

Shasta

On his shell he holds the earth.
I think some people think keeping their kids in the dark will make them less promiscuous or something. I have no idea why they would think that but that always seems to be the argument when you hear people arguing against sex ed in school. It's ridiculous.
Hahhahahahhahahhahhahhhha

Ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahah

HA

Haahahaa ha ha

(I'm not laughing at you. Just that idea. Which is clearly not one you buy.)
 

Shasta

On his shell he holds the earth.
I have no objection to education at school. I did object to a few things. One was the fact that abstinence was not included as one of the options when discussing birth control and protecting ones self against STI's. I agree other things (like condoms) need to be discussed, but abstinence should be included as the only one that is 100% effective for both. The high school felt it was inappropriate to include it and fired someone for teaching that.
That's just as annoying to me as ONLY teaching abstinence. It's an option. Why NOT provide it?
 

Walter Oobleck

keeps coming back...or going, and going, and going
Mar 6, 2013
11,749
34,805
It was pretty easy.... What WASN'T so easy was his friend who I drop off up the roads comments. He announced in the car "And we learnt you can have sex with more than one person. I knew that anyway, but it was good to really know." My boy seemed genuinely baffled with this and said "Can you?" The friend said "Yes, people that do that are called "players". They have sex with all the good looking women. They go to strip clubs and bars and that's why they're called "players"" Pretty sure that bit wasn't part of the lesson!. When I dropped the friend off, I had a casual chat with my boy and said the bit about players was kind of true but it was probably best just to have one partner at a time and have sex with someone you really cared about. Kept it all light and casual.

I think this is a good age because they are being taught, hopefully before they start tripping up on stuff on the internet. If they can learn that sex is part of a loving relationship before being exposed to internet porn, it might make them stop, look, and realise that isn't the real world on the computer, sure porn can play a part IN a loving relationship, but a relationship is better than staring at a computer screen on your own, if that actually makes any sense at all.

With us...or in my case, there was also church, Sunday school. Adam & Eve. Took a rib from Adam's side, so on so forth. So most of us...me included...had this idea that our rib...maybe...a bone anyway, came out and slipped into our package. "I hate when that bone comes out!" usually said by someone after walking out of Pascoe's Big Boy, Popsicles in hand, unwrapping them, reaching for our bikes. One of us grabs his pants to adjust the package. And too, a loving relationship is evident...or not...in the home, spoken about at church. King David and Bathsheba...the story of Jacob, working for seven years just to marry that pretty girl (I'd love to have seen Rachel) only to have her old man pull the switch on him and he end up being married to the sister and then he works another seven years. Here's a horrible thought...imagine the big evil corporations one day making you work seven years, a kind of good for the welfare of the state sort of thing...before you're allowed to hitch.

We learned at a young age...didn't have all the details worked out...but we knew. In my case, I learned things I should not have learned, not things a seven-year-old should learn and that colored me. (And here's the thing...no one knew I had this knowledge that I wish I never had.) So I picked at the whitecaps of peeling paint on the windowsill and smelled the lead in the glass, my nose two inches away all the time. Sounds like you have a good relationship with your son...and I can hear the friend..."players". There's one in every crowd.
 

VultureLvr45

Well-Known Member
Mar 15, 2012
2,650
13,707
Maryland
I have a little story to add to the discussion. We have always been clear about sex, the working parts, their names etc. Even from the time our son was little, he knew 'the facts' and could articulate to other kids if he heard wrong information. I was so proud we were able to let him know "where he came from" ("that is so gross Mom") and to slip our values in (committed relationship).

A few days later, his fourth grade teacher sent home a note. It said 'You may want to find another place to keep this'. I asked my son what this note meant. He dug through his backpack until he found MY (!hidden in the adult toy box!) small 5 inch motorized 'rocket'. He just thought it was so cool that the base turned and made it vibrate. We had a discussion about staying out of other peoples belongings and not sneaking stuff to schools in your pockets or your backpack. Yes, it was funny, and I was mortified.
 

Grandpa

Well-Known Member
Mar 2, 2014
9,724
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Colorado
We need to eat. It's okay for the school to tell the kids what decent nutrition consists of. The parents can sure modify it. There may be vegetarians/vegans, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, anti-Big Food types, all of that at home. The school doesn't need to moralize. Just give them the basic facts.

We need to excrete. It's okay for the school to teach what goes on with that and good hygiene practices. The parents can expand on it. The kids can develop germophobia, fear of defecation in public toilets, learning to hold it on long trips, and privacy issues about all that at home.

We need to copulate, not for daily living, but as a species. It's a basic drive. It's okay for the school to teach the biological processes to the kids and the purpose, risks, and risk avoidance. No moralizing needed. When it comes to with whom, or how many, or when to start, or best practices, and so on, the home environment can and should provide that information. As a matter of fact, due to all those societal taboos and inhibitions, it's too often not taught at home, so maybe when Johnny or Amy come home and say, "Guess what I learned today," it'll start a worthwhile discussion. Maybe.
 

Sigmund

Waiting in Uber.
Jan 3, 2010
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Hi!

Nice thread.

We just gave John information as he grew. 3-4 years old, yes it feels good to touch your penis but we do that only in private. When he was 5/6 years old and his teacher "got fat" is being pregnant/having a baby, etc. He asked, we answered. (Make sure you know exactly what your child is asking!) As he approached puberty I talked to him about what differences would be occurring to his body. I also explained what happens to girls as they go to puberty. Masturbation, nocturnal emissions, sexual arousal all that stuff was discussed. I guess we just talked about so matter-of-factly it wasn't a big thing.
When we talked sex I stressed he would in the long run probably appreciate it if he waited to be with the person he was in love with and cared about.
He understood he could come to me and ask for birth control (condoms and spermicides) or if he felt more comfortable ask one of his Godfathers or uncles. (I talked to them and told them it was cool.)
I would say more but I haven't asked his permission to share.

No one told me squat. I thought I was dying when I started my .
(I really empathized with Carrie.)

And the information I got on the playground was :eek:.

Ya'll be cool.

Peace.
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
I was taught sex ed in my first year of secondary school (so, around 11/12). My parents thought it was a bit too young an age, went to the school and confronted the head. He sat them down with a cup of coffee and had a chat. Everything was fine after that. When I asked what he'd said, my dad told me he'd explained why they did it and asked a question: would you rather we taught him before he can get a girl pregnant, or wait until after he's done it?
I got As all the way through that bit of biology (and ignored the usual suspects who kept asking our (young, attractive, female) teacher when we were going to do the practical). That said, it was nothing like as detailed as the stuff my nephew and niece have been taught.
 

Dana Jean

Dirty Pirate Hooker, The Return
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
53,634
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Hi!

Nice thread.

We just gave John information as he grew. 3-4 years old, yes it feels good to touch your penis but we do that only in private. When he was 5/6 years old and his teacher "got fat" is being pregnant/having a baby, etc. He asked, we answered. (Make sure you know exactly what your child is asking!) As he approached puberty I talked to him about what differences would be occurring to his body. I also explained what happens to girls as they go to puberty. Masturbation, nocturnal emissions, sexual arousal all that stuff was discussed. I guess we just talked about so matter-of-factly it wasn't a big thing.
When we talked sex I stressed he would in the long run probably appreciate it if he waited to be with the person he was in love with and cared about.
He understood he could come to me and ask for birth control (condoms and spermicides) or if he felt more comfortable ask one of his Godfathers or uncles. (I talked to them and told them it was cool.)
I would say more but I haven't asked his permission to share.

No one told me squat. I thought I was dying when I started my .
(I really empathized with Carrie.)

And the information I got on the playground was :eek:.

Ya'll be cool.

Peace.
ME TOO! on that last bit.
 

SusanNorton

Beatle Groupie
Jul 12, 2006
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Sigmund - same here with the "teaching along the way." I've talked to my 13-year-old about everything, even though some of it makes me uncomfortable. She's known all of the biological facts since the age of 10, when I bought her a book called "It's So Amazing," and read the entire thing with her one evening. In the past two years, though, I've been teaching her more about how valuable a gift her body is, to her and to the person she chooses to share it with, and that it's not something to take lightly. I've taught her our religion's views on sex, but c'mon - a 17-year-old girl in "love" with a cute 17-year-old boy is, well... you guys remember what that's like, huh? So, I want her to know what's safe and what's not, should she decide to say "yes" sooner rather than later, but also want her to know she has a right to say "no" as well.
 

HollyGolightly

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Sep 6, 2013
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Heart of the South
Sigmund - same here with the "teaching along the way." I've talked to my 13-year-old about everything, even though some of it makes me uncomfortable. She's known all of the biological facts since the age of 10, when I bought her a book called "It's So Amazing," and read the entire thing with her one evening. In the past two years, though, I've been teaching her more about how valuable a gift her body is, to her and to the person she chooses to share it with, and that it's not something to take lightly. I've taught her our religion's views on sex, but c'mon - a 17-year-old girl in "love" with a cute 17-year-old boy is, well... you guys remember what that's like, huh? So, I want her to know what's safe and what's not, should she decide to say "yes" sooner rather than later, but also want her to know she has a right to say "no" as well.
Oh man to be 17 again.....
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
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USA
Sigmund - same here with the "teaching along the way." I've talked to my 13-year-old about everything, even though some of it makes me uncomfortable. She's known all of the biological facts since the age of 10, when I bought her a book called "It's So Amazing," and read the entire thing with her one evening. In the past two years, though, I've been teaching her more about how valuable a gift her body is, to her and to the person she chooses to share it with, and that it's not something to take lightly. I've taught her our religion's views on sex, but c'mon - a 17-year-old girl in "love" with a cute 17-year-old boy is, well... you guys remember what that's like, huh? So, I want her to know what's safe and what's not, should she decide to say "yes" sooner rather than later, but also want her to know she has a right to say "no" as well.

Speaking of kids and how insane they are when they're 'in love', yesterday a friend walked in on her not-quite 17 yo son and his same aged GF making the whoopie IN HER OFFICE. He's an otherwise bright kid, she's a forward thinking mother who has been very frank with her kids, had all the talks (compounded by a law in Ireland that makes it statutory rape if the girl is under 17, no matter how old the boy is)... still, hormones won out. Just say no is nice, and I truly hope I've scared my kids to death about pregnancy and how a child (born, aborted--god forbid, or given up for adoption) is yours forever, but I don't think it's good enough to count on that. They need to know how their bodies work, how emotions play into that, our own moral stance... all of that, along with how to prevent pregnancy and not to be afraid to speak to me about anything.
 

Sigmund

Waiting in Uber.
Jan 3, 2010
13,979
44,046
In your mirror.
Speaking of kids and how insane they are when they're 'in love', yesterday a friend walked in on her not-quite 17 yo son and his same aged GF making the whoopie IN HER OFFICE. He's an otherwise bright kid, she's a forward thinking mother who has been very frank with her kids, had all the talks (compounded by a law in Ireland that makes it statutory rape if the girl is under 17, no matter how old the boy is)... still, hormones won out. Just say no is nice, and I truly hope I've scared my kids to death about pregnancy and how a child (born, aborted--god forbid, or given up for adoption) is yours forever, but I don't think it's good enough to count on that. They need to know how their bodies work, how emotions play into that, our own moral stance... all of that, along with how to prevent pregnancy and not to be afraid to speak to me about anything.

Yes, Ma'm.

I talked to my son. I made it a point to emphasize how special his body is and how it would be so special to share himself with a person he was in love with and cared deeply for.

I really cannot say more because I haven't asked his permission but I did make it a point to tell him, "Making love is different from having sex. I promise, when you get older, you will think back and be happy to know you made love rather then just had sex."

Peace.
 
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