I saw this on another site...
Q. Why are Stephen King books so hard to understand?
A. There are too many Maine characters!
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I saw this on another site...
Q. Why are Stephen King books so hard to understand?
A. There are too many Maine characters!
......& clyde goes .....ROFLMAOJane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted!
I like this one
Wow - this is from November 2013.Halloween Party Aftermath.
A couple had been invited to a swanky masked Halloween party, but the wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
His wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all.
As her husband did not know what costume she was going to wear, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he soon left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the hot new arrival.
She let him go as far as he wished naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home, put her costume away and got into bed, wondering what explanation he would make for his behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.
He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance.
When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a great time!"
This comment might be 3 years old but I feel mildly insulted at this attack upon my favorite kind of steakStolen from Tery on FB LOL (LMAO)View attachment 22664
Sure do miss your jokes and stories. Be well.