Will Rogers cont...
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
I bet after seeing us George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this: No nation is allowed to enter a war 'til they have paid for the last one.
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
"I'm a donkey on the edge..." Donkey from Shreck.
"I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one. . . . Humans are caught—in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too—in a net of good and evil. . . . There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well—or ill?"
— John Steinbeck (East of Eden)
No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes! --Mr Incredible
Your boy's suit I designed to withstand enormous friction without heating up or wearing out, a useful feature. Your daughter's suit was tricky, but I finally created a sturdy material that can disappear completely as she does. Your suit can stretch as far as you can without injuring yourself, and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible, yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton. --Edna
Is this on? I mean... can break through walls, I just can't... can't get this on... --Mr Incredible
Mom and Dad's lives could be in jeopardy, or worse - their marriage. --Violet
Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... S-Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's alright with me. I'm good... I'm good. --Lucius
[to Buddy] You're not affiliated with me! --Mr Incredible
That was totally wicked! --Boy on Tricycle
My words fly up, my thoughts remain below; Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
- William Shakespeare
My tastes are aristocratic; my actions democratic.
- Victor Hugo
You are a TOY!!! --- Woody to Buzz
[reciting] I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food. --Bruce
You, Mini-Man, takin' on the jellies. You've got serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome. --Crush
No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion. --Marlin
[Whispering] He touched the butt. --Tad
Hey. You guys made me ink. --Pearl
There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber... --Marlin
For a clown fish, he's not that funny. --Bruce
[shaking Nemo's bag] WHY... ARE... YOU... SLEEPING? --Darla
Intervention! --Chum, Anchor
[Large explosion occurs underwater with a small bubble reaching the surface, popping next to Pelican 1. Pelican 2 looks at him, disgusted] Nice. [Flies away]