Favourite Quotes and Quotations

[boogerb53]

That line always cracks me up along with "Those are not my drugs."

I can quote every line from the first Shreck.

The one quote that cracks my family up is from Cheech and Chong...." Daves not here!"

[JohnDalglish]

The one quote that cracks my family up is from Cheech and Chong...." Daves not here!"

Hi,

'Is Dave there?' LOL

Long days and pleasant nights

[Becks19]

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice.
- Benedict Spinoza

[Srbo]

"Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Jesus Christ

[Haunted]

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
~ Leo Buscaglia

[blunthead]

What disease did cured ham have?

Why is it people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you in a movie but on TV?

Why do people go to the top of skyscrapers to put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

If Jimmy cracks corn and you don't care, why are you singing a song about him?

Can a hearse with a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do you "put your two cents in" when it's "a penny for your thoughts"? Where's the profit going?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

[Becks19]

The dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book.
- Walt Whitman

Language is not an abstract construction of the learned, or of dictionary-makers, but is something arising out of the work, needs, ties, joys, affections, tastes, of long generations of humanity, and has its bases broad and low, close to the ground.
- Walt Whitman

No tears and the writer, no tears and the reader.
- Robert Frost

Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things.
- Robert Frost

[boogerb53]

"What fresh Hell is this??" Dorthy Parker.

[blunthead]

Fred Allen vol 1...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

[Becks19]

My early and invincible love of reading, I would not exchange for the treasures of India.
- Edward Gibbon

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Sanity is very rare; every man almost, and every woman, has a dash of madness.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson