Homophobic?

[Srbo]

I`m not homophobic, never even really think about it, it`s not my life nor my business what other people do and what they like or don`t like. But this got my attention:
In a book I`m reading atm, there is a scene where some guys gang up on another guy and they want to beat him up. In one moment this lone guy says to the main bully: " Do you know that people who like to constantly fight are actually gay, they just didn`t come out of the closet yet? They need to feel another man`s body, so they hide their true nature behind beating him up, but that`s the only way they gets to feel them. "
Then the writer goes into his own rant about how all team sports are like that, soccer, football, basketball...guys only play them so they can touch other men and smell their sweat and wrestle with them or something along those lines...
Is this guy onto to something or is he just a homophobic idiot?

[~Ally~]

Is this a fictional book where these are a character's feelings, or is the writer recanting his own memoirs? If it's fiction then no, this does not reflect on the writer's opinions in real life, after all how many times have people turned up here and accused SK of being racist or homophobic because of how his fictional characters behave? If this writer is expressing his own opinions, though, maybe he is homophobic, or maybe not...for all we know he may be homosexual himself and possibly offering his perspective as a gay man? Not knowing him personally I can't really say, I'm just speculating, but his views don't automatically make him homophobic.

[tenngolfer]

I`m not homophobic, never even really think about it, it`s not my life nor my business what other people do and what they like or don`t like. But this got my attention:
In a book I`m reading atm, there is a scene where some guys gang up on another guy and they want to beat him up. In one moment this lone guy says to the main bully: " Do you know that people who like to constantly fight are actually gay, they just didn`t come out of the closet yet? They need to feel another man`s body, so they hide their true nature behind beating him up, but that`s the only way they gets to feel them. "
Then the writer goes into his own rant about how all team sports are like that, soccer, football, basketball...guys only play them so they can touch other men and smell their sweat and wrestle with them or something along those lines...
Is this guy onto to something or is he just a homophobic idiot?

I'm not sure about the desire to bully or fight, but on the sports comment I would go with homophobic idiot, and a fear of playing sports. Of the only 4 gay men (3 I worked with during different jobs, 1 was an older cousin) only one liked sports and only as a spectator. Of the guys I played sports with in my younger days only two would I suspected of being gay, and one of those "came out" about 10 years into adulthood. I know so very little on the subject, but will I make one further observation. Of the 4 men, two of the men were snobby jerks, one of those being my cousin that my family did not like, not because he was gay, but because of the way he treated everyone else around him. The other two gentlemen, were two of the hardest working, nicest, community minded people you would ever want to be around. And their lifestyle never came up as a conversation between myself and any of them, although there was the "water cooler" talk about them, but also about everyone's elses relationships as well.

[Todash]

Eh, I think that's giving men too much credit for being overly complicated and thinky. Kidding, kidding! Of course, some gay men do "hide" in sports--that's probably where you will find gay men so deeply in the closet that they're one step from Narnia--but I think that's more because sports are so overtly masculine that it's good cover, not so much the opportunity to ogle and grab. But it's a small percentage; even completely straight guys, for reasons I confess I do not understand, seem to enjoy donning matching uniforms and beating each other up while chasing around a ball of some sort.

I think in your book the writer guy is screwing with the bully's head.

[nygene40]

Eh, I think that's giving men too much credit for being overly complicated and thinky. Kidding, kidding! Of course, some gay men do "hide" in sports--that's probably where you will find gay men so deeply in the closet that they're one step from Narnia--but I think that's more because sports are so overtly masculine that it's good cover, not so much the opportunity to ogle and grab. But it's a small percentage; even completely straight guys, for reasons I confess I do not understand, seem to enjoy donning matching uniforms and beating each other up while chasing around a ball of some sort.

I think in your book the writer guy is screwing with the bully's head.

I'm not sure I understand your statement about gay men who "hide" in sports. Perhaps they truly enjoy football, baseball etc..."that's where you find men so deeply in the closet..." I'm sorry, but that is insulting on so many levels. I know many gay men and women who are just athletes, and play sports because they are athletes. They aren't trying to "hide" behind sports at all. What an absurd thing!

[hossenpepper]

I'm not sure I understand your statement about gay men who "hide" in sports. Perhaps they truly enjoy football, baseball etc..."that's where you find men so deeply in the closet..." I'm sorry, but that is insulting on so many levels. I know many gay men and women who are just athletes, and play sports because they are athletes. They aren't trying to "hide" behind sports at all. What an absurd thing!

Yes, your inability to fully read what Todash said is quite absurd indeed. She said nothing of the sort as you interpreted it. If you're going to get high n' mighty, maybe know WTF you're talking about first. You should have stopped after the first sentence of your post.

[nygene40]

Yes, your inability to fully read what Todash said is quite absurd indeed. She said nothing of the sort as you interpreted it. If you're going to get high n' mighty, maybe know WTF you're talking about first. You should have stopped after the first sentence of your post.

Getting high and mighty was not my intention.

I do know 'WTF" I am talking about when it comes to gay men and women who are athletes and enjoy playing sports simply for the joy of it, rather than to use it as a "cover" for their homosexuality.

Your response is overtly hostile, especially since it isn't your post I was responding to.

Perhaps Todash can speak for herself, and correct me in a more mature way, if I have indeed misunderstood her original post. I am open to explanation when I have misinterpreted anything.

Given the aggressive tone you jumped in with (which showed no intention except to be insulting) it might be a good idea if you just minded your own business on this one.

[hossenpepper]

Getting high and mighty was not my intention.

I do know 'WTF" I am talking about when it comes to gay men and women who are athletes and enjoy playing sports simply for the joy of it, rather than to use it as a "cover" for their homosexuality.

Your response is overtly hostile, especially since it isn't your post I was responding to.

Perhaps Todash can speak for herself, and correct me in a more mature way, if I have indeed misunderstood her original post. I am open to explanation when I have misinterpreted anything.

Given the aggressive tone you jumped in with (which showed no intention except to be insulting) it might be a good idea if you just minded your own business on this one.

Yes, no less aggressive than yours. The difference is yours was based on the fact you completely misinterpreted her words (in a completely off the wall way I might add). She said that because of the macho nature of sports, especially on the male side, being openly gay is not exactly accepted yet. Hence they have to hide it deeply to keep from being ostracized in their community. SHE MADE NO COMMENT ABOUT THE STATE OF MIND OF A GAY ATHLETE. Read that back several times as the entire foundation of your reply was that she as trying to impose her version of what a gay athlete thinks.

Had you said "I don't get what you're saying but if you mean this... I disagree", that would be one thing. But no, you had to say it was "insulting on so many levels". To who? You? But not sure who else it could be, so that means you are taking it personally and aggressively lashing back. The only reason you replied was to do this, yet when someone does it to you, and this time has actual facts an reality on their side you get upset? Please... However, if not taking it as personally insulting, I highly doubt you were elected the defender of all gay people, so you should maybe MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, as you suggested I do.

As far you knowing what you were talking about, again, you seem to not have the ability to properly interpret and instead make an assumption. This further proves my initial response was 100% valid as it did not misunderstand or illicit a different type of response from you. That statement had nothing to do with what you do or do not know about being gay. I have no idea what you know about that, nor do I care. It had nothing to do with what you may or may not know about the plight of gay athlete. I have no idea what you know about that, nor do I care. It had everything to do with the obvious fact, based upon your own words, that you had no idea what the actual thing she said was in the first place (though it was clear and concise).

With that, I will respect Miss Mod and bow out.

[Todash]

I'm not sure I understand your statement about gay men who "hide" in sports. Perhaps they truly enjoy football, baseball etc..."that's where you find men so deeply in the closet..." I'm sorry, but that is insulting on so many levels. I know many gay men and women who are just athletes, and play sports because they are athletes. They aren't trying to "hide" behind sports at all. What an absurd thing!

Wow, I had absolutely no idea this tempest was brewing. Certainly it wasn't my intent to cause a ruckus.

I think perhaps you took so much umbrage to the first part of what I said that you missed the second part ... which is pretty much exactly what you're saying: it's likely "a small percentage" (quoting myself) of men who do that. Lots of guys (and women, but generally it's more perceived as a guy thing) just ... like sports. And gay men are still men.

But there are gay men who engage in typically masculine endeavors that they might not fully enjoy as cover, especially if they grow up in an environment where they don't feel safe being who they are openly. All you have to do, if you don't know people like that yourself, is google it to see story after story of gay or transgender kids doing everything they could to fit in as a matter of survival. Sports, especially certain contact sports, are typically viewed as a masculine thing, and are therefore a great place to "hide." Heck, there are plenty of straight kids who play football not because they want to but because their dad wants to vicariously relive his glory days as a high school quarterback. I'm not saying it should be that way; I'm just saying that it is. I don't follow sports (pretty much at all), but even I can recall reading about several professional athletes "coming out"--after they retire. It's always after they retire. Maybe 95% of those played for the love of the game ... but it is not a stretch, not at all, to think that there is a small percentage of people who fear coming out so much that they spend their young adulthood concealing who they are by using sports.

My intent was not to be insulting at all, and I do not think the truth of the thing is insulting. It simply is. It's just a sad part of the human condition. I agree; it's absurd. Did you know one of the top five regrets people have on their deathbeds is that they wish they'd been able to be themselves, to tell other people how they feel?

[nygene40]

Todash, I can see how I got of on the wrong track when I read your post and didn't realize you were referring to professional sports. I was thinking along the lines of non-professional sports. I know a lot of hockey players, boxers, baseball players...etc, who are gay and out and excellent athletes.