I'm a fan of Stephen King's; I'm seeing him tonight.
I think I'd read anything that he decides to write.
First time that I browsed the web ('cause I was feeling bored)
Thought I'd check out Stephen King; I found his Message Board.
Met a lovely group of people there and made some friends,
Who I plan to use now for my own (quite selfish) ends;
If, perchance, some one of you who's also going there
And has tickets on the floor (I'm breathing thinner air);
If you get the chance to ask him questions and you're stumped,
Please don't ask him where his ideas come from; you'll get jumped.
Tell him that you love his books, admire his great skill.
That the chance to meet him here tonight is such a thrill...
Then ask him the question that his fans all want to know;
Has he heard the rumors Kevin Youkilis might go
Put on Yankee pinstripes? Does King think that even he
Could convey the horror felt by Red Sox fans like me?