Politics is ruining my family

[Shasta]

Some of you have seen me write recently that my father and I do not agree on politics. I am a moderate Democrat and he is a hard-core Republican. In fact, I'd say he's pretty much tea-party.

Well, we've always been able to have debates and then move on. He says I'm the only Dem he knows that is well informed on both sides. He clearly doesn't talk to many Dems.....

Anyway, to make a long story short, he (like many other Republicans) seem to take it as a personal affront that Obama was re-elected. He's so angry. I don't get it. I don't remember Dems being this offensively angry when Gore lost. The whole thing is shocking me.

Anyway, I tried to call him on election night. No answer. Left a message asking him to call me. He didn't.

I called him the next night. No answer. Left him a message asking him to call me. He didn't.

Now, my dad is my best friend. We talk at least three times a week. I can't think of another time that he didn't call me back within a few hours. Now it's been two days.

So I called him last night. He answered.

I'm not going to go into details but he was mean. I mean MEAN. He was condescending and rude and sarcastic. I was taken aback. I was apalled. I eventually told him to call me when he was himself and hung up on him.

What's with this hatred? I couldn't stand Bush but I would never have let it come between me and my father. I would never have spoken to him like he did to me. I am fairly offended that he voted for Romney for multiple personal reasons that we have gone into HUGE discussions about but I would never let that affect our relationship.

It was like he was talking to a stranger.

I'm embarrassed by our country and how people are acting right now. I'm embarrassed that people feel it's okay to talk so badly about our president, of any party.

But mostly I'm sad. I'm sad that there's such an intense hatred of Obama that it is affecting the love my father has for me. I don't even want to speak to him. It's breaking my heart.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

[fljoe0]

I have a theory on why people are getting so one sided on political issues. It's the enormous volume of choices we have watching news on television. I know it sounds like that should make us more rounded but what is happening (I see this with some of my own family members) is that all of these opinion oriented cable news channels and shows are very one sided (both left and right). It's like "preaching to the choir." If you so chose, you can watch opinion oriented news all day long and never hear an opinion that differs from yours. There are 100 channels of opinions out there and you can pick the 2 or 3 channels that most fit your point of view and never hear anything else. All of the choices seem to be narrowing our perspective.

[Spideyman]

((((Shasta))))

[king family fan]

Sending you hugs! Group hugs everyone.

[Moderator]

Was trying to find a show I'd heard just recently on the radio (I think it was NPR) that was about families and friends who have had a falling out because of politics and a technique to use to be able to resolve those issues without trying to convince the other person that they should be the one to change which I think is what is happening a lot with political discussions. It's become very much an either/or way of looking at things. The part that I was most interested in was the segment of the show that was an interview with two sisters who had gotten to the point where they weren't speaking to each other but had used that technique with success to at least get past the silence even though they still had the same opinions. Haven't been able to find it yet, though. Will keep looking in case it might be something that would be of help. Your dad may just need a little time to let this sink in. It's probably still too raw for him but it does seem extreme that he would vent that kind of anger on you. (((Shasta)))

[Shasta]

I have a theory on why people are getting so one sided on political issues. It's the enormous volume of choices we have watching news on television. I know it sounds like that should make us more rounded but what is happening (I see this with some of my own family members) is that all of these opinion oriented cable news channels and shows are very one sided (both left and right). It's like "preaching to the choir." If you so chose, you can watch opinion oriented news all day long and never hear an opinion that differs from yours. There are 100 channels of opinions out there and you can pick the 2 or 3 channels that most fit your point of view and never hear anything else. All of the choices seem to be narrowing our perspective.

I can definitely see that. But it still doesn't explain why people are so angry. As far as I'm concerned there's not much that should affect a family and politics is certainly not one of them.

I was listening to NPR right before the election and they had this whole thing on this election ruining relationships. I actually said to my husband, "Oh, that's going to happen to me and my dad." My husband just laughed because neither of us ever thought that would happen.

I do not get it. I mean, I could see if my gay step-brother stopped talking to my dad for voting for Romney. Even then I wouldn't agree but I could see it. This whole thing just doesn't make sense to me.

[Shasta]

Was trying to find a show I'd heard just recently on the radio (I think it was NPR) that was about families and friends who have had a falling out because of politics and a technique to use to be able to resolve those issues without trying to convince the other person that they should be the one to change which I think is what is happening a lot with political discussions. It's become very much an either/or way of looking at things. The part that I was most interested in was the segment of the show that was an interview with two sisters who had gotten to the point where they weren't speaking to each other but had used that technique with success to at least get past the silence even though they still had the same opinions. Haven't been able to find it yet, though. Will keep looking in case it might be something that would be of help. Your dad may just need a little time to let this sink in. It's probably still too raw for him but it does seem extreme that he would vent that kind of anger on you. (((Shasta)))

HA! That's so funny!

I was just posting about this at the same time. That was such an interesting story because I never thought people would sink to that.

What's even funnier about it is that my dad DID call me selfish, just like those sisters. I tried to ask how I was selfish when the whole point of my party was HELPING people and he said I just wanted a hand-out. Ug... can't keep telling the story... makes me cry.... but it went on from there.

I'll try to find the story too. You're right. It may help.

I'm concerned if he does come back into his right mind and apologize I might still have inner animosity. Though, it's highly unlikely he will apologize. I can't remember any time he's ever apologized for anything.

[fljoe0]

My mom has kind of gone off the deep end of politics. It's weird because I never remember talking much about politics before a few years ago. Her and her husband watch cable news constantly and always think the world is going to end if their side doesn't win an election. I avoid the subject around her. I don't think she would ever get mad at me and not talk to me but I just steer the conversation to other things. I never even told her who I voted for in 2008. I never lied to her but I sure did change the subject a few times. I really don't feel like having political arguments with my mother.

[Shasta]

Found it!

Red state, blue state on This American Life. I love this American Life.

I'm going to listen to this again right now.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radi...ate-blue-state

[Moderator]

That may have been the same show I was trying to find.

My recollection is that there were a lot of people who were angry and in a state of disbelief (count me as one) after Bush won his second term but can't remember if the discussions were as contentious.