Here's a little play, by me:
Caller: Hello, my name is (name you cannot understand because I have such a thick accent), and I am calling from (insert company name here). I am calling about (insert situation). I just need to verify that you are you and that you are over 18; can I have some personal information from you?
Me: Oohh... yes, let me find that for you. Oh wait, can you call me back on my other phone? This one's battery is going dead.
Caller: Yes, sure, what is the number?
Me: (gives him the local sheriff's department number and asks him to repeat it back, which he does. Twice, just to make sure he got it right)
Caller: Okay, I will call you right back for your personal information.
Me: I have no personal information. (hang up)
Why are there no fat stickmen?????
It may be possible to create two strands thick with braid from the hairs of my underarm. I'd then wrap them around the parsnip, clutching it tight against my pit, lower the arm home and let it slow cook to desired foulness of odor.
Just one of the other places I'm thinking about putting em.
Perhaps with the oil and screwdriver you were going to a. fix that squeaky door that has been driving you nuts, or B. Oil the door locking mechanism, C. see if you could determine why x appliance isnt working [hint··unplug first···I learned about that the hard way] d. Fixing a broken Gardening Tool Changing handles, etc. E. Install drawer inserts ooh..fix something. Thats my final answer.