Sick of my computer being slow... And also the fact i havent ridden or even been around a horse for a week!
I am irritated today because I am an angry person...... (long story that follows)
We have not really been the best of friends for the last year for several reasons. I lacked in social skills. I didn’t like complaining and rehashing drama for the sake of having something to gossip about. So while she and her new friends would complain about the people they didn’t like, their sexual explorations, and experiences they had I would be sitting outside their circle of chairs surfing the net. She spent most of her time avoiding and ignoring me. Sometimes she would call and invite me to hang out or have dinner and it would be like old times. I would start to think we were okay. Then she’d be mad and not want to have anything to do with me. She would lie to me, we’d fight.
I liked her brother.I told her I liked him one day. I wasn’t ready to tell him though, I was scared he’d laugh and never speak to me again. When I finally worked up the courage to tell him a week later he laughed and told me he knew. She had told him right after I left.
It was of course no biggie to her. I told her to shove off. The next day she apologized. We then progressed to the point where she would make fun of me to her friends and only liked me when I was acting like an idiot. I couldn’t tell her anything without her treating me as if I was stupid. She would be happy around everyone but me. She would hug and hang out with everyone but me. If I was standing next to her she would be more deliberate about avoiding me. When I tried to talk to her about how our relationship was going and how I felt we weren’t really friends anymore she would blow me off and say that I was being silly. I ended up breaking down and crying in front of her. She spent the next 10 minutes looking at me with a mixture of pity, disgust, and amusement. During one of our talks she told me she continued to hang out with me because I was the fat friend. She would continuously ask if I was jealous of her friends.
In the end her new friends ended up talking behind her back, they hated her, made fun of her, and all of the sudden according to her we were best buds again.
I find trying to be her friend again a challenge. She wants to prove that she’s better then the girl who replaced her, the girl who acts exactly like her. Many of the things she does or says will irritate me or remind me that we’re only friends because none of her old friends wants to hang out with her.
I am irritated today because I should be a better person than the one I am now. Most of All I’m angry that I care about her and haven’t called it quits. I'm irritated that she thinks everything is okay just because I don't have any other friends.
SF -- this person is not your friend. But you know this. She has no clue what being a friend means. Do NOT call her a friend because that cheapens the honor. You need to cut her loose and cultivate new people in your life. Volunteer somewhere. That is a really great way to make new friends. Volunteers tend to be caring people and if you volunteer in an area that you enjoy, you will find like-minded people to hang with.
Volunteer at your local library. Or the hospital. Or pick a teacher at a nearby school and be her hero. Be loyal, consistent, and work hard and in no time, you will have people seeking you out because they know they can count on you. And, when they learn you are a competent, go-getter, they will come to you for everything, so it's a good thing to learn to say "No" without feeling guilty. And just because you say "no" does not mean people will not like you anymore. They will respect you for being honest.
You must value yourself. Now get out there!
"You've been here before, but things are about to change. I know it. I feel it. There's a storm on the way." -- Stephen King
Loaded the coffee maker this morning, and it didn't do it's part and make my stinking coffee! All I gotta say is thank god I have a french press so I'm never without.
Not been line dancing in sooo long
Everybodies being mean to me today!!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I am out of cheddar cheese. I am too lazy to go get some.