Stephen King jokes

[Dances_in_Underwear]

Anyone have any funny SK jokes? I made this one up a few days ago:

Q: How many Stephen Kings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: AHHHH! Lightbulb Monster!

Haha, well it's not that funny but I tried. Anyway, I urge you to take a stab at making up some of your own, or even some funny SK limmericks. Come on! It'll be fun, I promise!

[hansel4150]

How Many Stephen King Message Board People does it take to come up with a funny joke?

Still havent figured out the answer yet. yeah....

[GNTLGNT]

Knock, Knock...
Who's there?
Cujo...
Cujo who?
Cujo go get me a beer?
(Thank you, thank you very much. I'm here all night and please remember your waiter and waitresses!)

[bopropadop]

Randall Flagg and Annie Wilkes are sipping beers at the local pub.

Annie says, "Did you hear who they caught killing people in Derry?"

Flagg - "Who?"

Annie - "It."

Flagg - "It what?"

Annie - "It killed people and they caught It."

Flagg - "What killed people?"

Annie - "You ol' dirty birdy. It, I said."

Flagg - "It was killing people?"

Annie - Yes.

Flagg - "And they caught it?

Annie - "Now you've got it."

There's a pause as Flagg ponders the previous dialogue. He says, "You must think I'm some clown."

Annie - "No, silly. It is a clown."

[no bounce no play]

Q: What do you get when you cross Ralph Roberts, Glen Bateman, and a dyslexic?

A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

[no bounce no play]

Little Kurt Barlow: Mommy! Mommy! Are we really vampires?

Mommy: Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!

[Charms7]

What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?
A salad shooter.

[Charms7]

A man running a little behind schedule arrives at a movie theatre, goes in to watch the movie that has already started, and as his eyes adjust to the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in the row ahead, intently watching the movie. It even seemed to be enjoying the movie: wagging its tail in the happy scenes, drooping its ears at the sad bits, and hiding its eyes with its paws at the scary parts. After the movie, the man approaches the dog's owner, "Jeepers mate, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie. I'm amazed!" "Yes, I'm amazed also," came the reply. "He hated the book."

[no bounce no play]

I like those old Mommy! Mommy! jokes... they're kinda sick but they adapt well to SK's characters lol. Just one more and then I'll quit lol.

Young Carrie White: Mommy! Mommy! I'm getting dizzy!
Mommy: Shut up or I'll nail your other foot down!

[Srbo]

Knock, Knock...
Who's there?
Cujo...
Cujo who?
Cujo go get me a beer?
(Thank you, thank you very much. I'm here all night and please remember your waiter and waitresses!)

HAHAHAHAHA!



Thank, man, this made me laugh hard....