OMG Calling All Men!

[Sigmund]

Gentlemen,
Please consider the following situations and share with us your thoughts/reactions. Thank You!

1. Your wife, and others are being honored for some charity work. You get dressed up in your Tux for the gala. !5 minutes before the ceremonies are to begin you decide to go to the men's room. In your haste you manage to get your shirt tail caught in your trouser zipper. In the next frantic minutes you manage to get the shirt tail firmly caught in the metal teeth of the zipper. There is now 1 two inch strip of bright, white shirt tail contrasted nicely against your black pants. What do you do?

2. On your way to work you literally bump into an old friend. He quickly tells you his company transferred him back into town a few weeks ago. You are both in a hurry to get to work so you plan on meeting up after work. You think about this buddy of yours. 15 years ago you considered him a pretty good friend. One of your best friends. Even after you both got married you would all get together a few times a month as a foursome for dinner, play cards, barbeque.
You meet up that evening and are catching up. He says to you, "I was really sorry to hear about you and Jane getting divorced/breaking up last year. I know it was hard for me getting divorced. You know, I always thought Jane was attractive and we got along well. I was thinking I might call her up and ask her out. You wouldn't mind, right?" Well you and Jane are happily together and have never even THOUGHT about breaking up. What would you do?

[hossenpepper]

Sig

1. There are few options here. The most obvious is get some pliers if possible and yoink that zipper down. the next would take off the pants and pull on teh shirt until it comes loose or rips. If all else fails I would turn to the magic of El Marko! and as the Stones say "Paint it, paint it ... paint it black!" Hmmmm maybe this could be fixed with duct tape somehow....

2. Hell no. This sort of happened to me with an ex-GF, and a friend I hadnt seen in awhile. He was flirting at her place of work (a store he gassed and had lunch at occasionally while doing an out of town job) and then asked her out. I was not happy about it. She called and asked if I would contact him and get him to stop. I drove to see him and while not friendly, it stopped short of fisticuffs. So my answer again is HELL NO. That sort of thing is off limits IMHO and will almost always end in trouble of some sort.

[hossenpepper]

Oh crap, sorry I misread the 2nd question LOL... DUUH!

First I would ask where he heard we had divorced. If my wife, she and I would be having a conversation that night.

[fushingfeef]

1. Grin and bear it. I once went to a meeting with an important client and managed to rip a hole in my elbow. I just joked about it rather than hide it, and it wasn't a big deal.

2. Say "who told you that?" and "Yes, I would mind, but I can't stop you."

[Cowboy]

I think that carrying a pocket knife solves both of these issues.

[Srbo]

Well, don`t really know what to say about scenario number one, since the only time I EVER wore a suit was when I got married.
I simply don`t like them, can`t wear them, I`m just a jeans and shirt guy, so somehow I can`t even think about a tux, sorry.

Number two:
I would tell my buddy that I`m flattered that he thinks about dating my wife and that he finds her attractive, rub it in how lucky of a guy I was, tap him on the shoulder, maybe even give him a man-hug, buy him a beer so he can drown his sorrows and tell him to keep on dreaming.
Cause dreaming is good for the soul.

[Bryan James]

These kinda threads seem like the beginning of an "Ultima" computer game--or an examination from "Blade Runner" to hunt down Replicants!

(I always stop the car, put the flashers on, and bring the turtle to the side of the road, by the way...)

[PatInTheHat]

1) I would have exclaimed that I had thought those stories my Mama told me as a boy, about the little pony gettin' out of the open barn door, weren't true even then, but evidently as the evidence clearly shows, Mama's just know stuff.

2) In the case of my lovely bride back in the days before she was an actual ex, I would have smartly asked that he please stop toying with my emotions, and demand that his price be within my budget....Henny Youngman woulda had nothin' on me is what I'm sayin'.

[Sigmund]

I think that carrying a pocket knife solves both of these issues.

I must say Cowboy-I like the cut of your gib.

[Sigmund]

These kinda threads seem like the beginning of an "Ultima" computer game--or an examination from "Blade Runner" to hunt down Replicants!

(I always stop the car, put the flashers on, and bring the turtle to the side of the road, by the way...)

Is that a round about way of saying, STOP IT!?