Writers...Need help.

**Bad Writer** · February 17th, 2010

I know I am relatively new to the Boards here, so I hope this question isn't terribly out of kilter.

I am a new writer. I have only been trying my hand at it a few months now. I write daily, or try to, and right now am working on a few "short" stories. Everything has been going great, full steam ahead. As I am practicing my hand at natural dialouge, I often use the speech patterns of myself and others around me as my template. (we are Southern, so this is VERY colorful as you can imagine LOL)

Last night I was working on a story that is (very) loosely based on my child, I have been working on it for about a week. The story is a bit autobiographical, and it led to a situation between my fictional "self" and my "fictional' mother. The conversation was taut, curt...and after I wrote it the strangest thing happened...
I shut down my computer. I was so agitated and upset that I couldnt continue writing. It was like that ONE conversation ruined the whole damned story for me. I dont even look at it the same way, can't force myself to re-read it. I can't believe that I wrote something so upsetting that it killed my best work yet. i couldn't sleep, everytime I think about it my jaw clenches. When I try to think ahead about my story...I draw a blank. Now I hate the whole damned thing.
Am I going crazy? What just happened to me? Is this normal?
Thanks in advance for any help or advice!
-K

**smerdyakov** · February 17th, 2010

If whatever you wrote communicates the same level of disgust to the reader, you have gold. If it only affects you in this way because it's personal, depersonalize it and shoot for the same effect on the reader. Two birds with one stone, and all that.

**fushingfeef** · February 17th, 2010

Welcome to the SKMB! (I'm pretty new here too, but I'm finding this is a friendly bunch!)

I look at this as a positive that you wrote something that you feel strongly about. Chances are if your writing can affect you, it can affect others.

Now, what to do about this situation: realize that as a writer you will be re-writing a LOT. What you've just written isn't written in stone. Remember what Stephen King said about the act of writing: you are uncovering a fossil. Sometimes the act of uncovering it ruins the fossil, but most likely you need to get back to work at uncovering that fossil. It's not clear whether you're upset about the content of the scene itself, or what was said, or if you just think it is bad writing. But regardless, now you've written something that you realize does not belong as part of the finished fossil (your story).

I break up my work into chapters as I'm writing. There have been times I realize a chapter isn't going the way it should. What I do is keep writing BEYOND that chapter, with the knowledge that I can go back and fix that one bad chapter later. DON'T KEEP RE-WRITING--ALWAYS FORGE AHEAD!

Why? Because sometimes these things happen for a reason. An offhand comment by a character, a seemingly random out-of-place scene, can sometimes take your story in a new and exciting direction. The moment you realize your characters have a life of their own is exciting, but sometimes frustrating because your story isn't going the way you intended it to. But remember, "it is the tale, not he who tells it" (to quote from "The Breathing Method"). Your job as the author is to step aside and become the instrument through which the story is told.

Now, if when you're done with your story, you STILL think that scene doesn't belong, then by all means take it out, re-write it, or just remove it entirely. Don't let this block you! Remember another title from Stephen King: "Head down." Yes, that story was about baseball, but it is great advice for a writer. Just keep moving ahead. It's better to be a finisher than a perpetual re-writer, believe me!

**Perse Jr.** · February 17th, 2010

First of all, change your screen name!

Sounds like you hit a wall to me, but maybe your "wall" was also tied into something emotional that you have not yet (obviously) identified. Go back and read it. MAKE yourself. Copy the conversation to its own document and see if you can continue the story without it. Don't let it go if you were that happy with it until the conversation. I've got several stories I haven't touched in a while because sometimes we just fizzle creatively. But, at the very least, if you can't read it or want to read it again anytime soon, make sure you keep/save it because someday you WILL want it.

**Kim L.** · February 17th, 2010

Not going crazy at all, but you may want to take a break from working on it for little awhile--do something completely different, and let things percolate. You may come up with a new take on the story, and whatever else is going on.

**Bryan James** · February 17th, 2010

Make blank paper more gooder.

~BJS

**Bad Writer** · February 17th, 2010

To everyone, thank you so much for acknowledging my problem. I really was very shaken, like...who the heck slipped me crazy pills today?? You guys did make me feel more sane, I really don't have anyone else I could approach so personal a subject with. (My mother is my proof reader...how funny is that?)
To answer smerdyakov and fushingfeef...I don't know exactly why the conversation bothered me. It was, of course, an instant replay of several of my conversations with my mom. I have a great mom though, and don't really feel any anger towards her. Now that I am reflecting a bit, I think maybe I am sorta pissed off on behalf of my fictional alter ego. But you guys are 100% right, I need to keep going. What DOES suck is that the convo was actually just the turning point I needed for my story...I had been sorta meandering, and that short passage just did it for me. Unplanned. Outta nowhere.
Perse Jr...that is actually excellent advice. I can just copy the whole thing out...and tell myself....turning point here...and keep trucking. I am shocked I hit a wall though, everything was going great, I was so enthusiastic, and in the 15 minutes that conversation just APPEARED on my screen I was like...Oh, no.
And thank you Kim, as well. Even if I just journal for now, I am going to try and keep my hand moving. That's just it. I am normally NOT a high strung, angry or irrational person, which is why this has really thrown me. I mean I could have Metallica playing live in my backyard, and I would be like..."ok, guys...cut it down, kids are trying to sleep".
I guess I am such a no drama person that writing drama actually alarmed me LOL
-K