Thing 1
Why the hell (does this counts as cursing?) did Alice need to die??!
She was the funniest of the party, why did the guy in the car didn't hit Jordan (he may be important for the rest for the story but what ever! Or why didn't he hit Tom? He was't (very) important for the story. Well I don't wanted him to die, I only ask why didn't someone else died in Alice's place
Thing 2
What is a 'sprinter'?
Because at one point a sprinter passes the group and a moment later something happens to him what doesn't makes any sens at all (if he was running)...
For the rest it's a cool story and I'll hope it gets filmed once
Iuris xp





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