It's really a hard question to answer. I do believe in God, but in my own sort of way. I've had some pretty intense paranormal experiences my entire life. Now as a paranormal investigator I seek scientific answers for this phenomena, and I don't know why, but it's become personal to me to make a difference in the field. But even in proving things scientifically, in a way most people can understand and even look at objectively, I can't turn away from God. For how is it possible that these spirits of people, and strange negative entities can exist, but yet, there is no God?
In my field, I have to separate God from the work I do, for if I include God, most people will turn away from me, call me another religious fanatic. But I have had experiences that make me think that there truly is a God. Like a time when I was dead myself, and I had a Near Death Experience. I was lost, alone in a hallway, it was dark and shadowy, I was very frightened. As I wandered, hoping to find my way out of this place, or at least someone who could help me, I saw a golden light shining up ahead. Maybe it was the way out. I followed it and ended up in a room, the golden light was a beam shining in through a window. Something told me that it was OK, to go lay down on the bed in the room and everything would be all right. So I did. I woke up a couple of days later, in the hospital. It was not even similar to the room I had found in that place. For a long time, I didn't realize how important this was, or that it was even a Near Death Experience. It took a while before I realized that what I had seen what must have been the light of God, or of the higher power that resides in the universe we live in.
I have met up with many ghosts in my time, many of them aware enough to know my name. I've also met up with other creatures that I do not consider human in any way, shape or form. What are they? I don't know yet, but when they come, it is Great Spirit I call out to for help, and so far, he's never let me down.
But God, I think is something none of us can really understand. I look at God in a strange way, I admit, but I don't think he's some guy who looks like us, floating out there in space, wanting to smite us for our mis-behaviors. To me it's more of a great consciousness that maybe even evolves as the universe does. Each day the universe changes, new stars are born, and it circles and grows. Maybe even new planets are shaped and new life grows on them. Is God standing there with his magic wand creating these things, or is he just a part of the universe, as old and as powerful as all time and space is itself?
I don't know, but I can say this. I don't think any form of life after death could be possible without this consciousness. I feel as if each one of us has a part of this consciousness inside of us. It is only waiting for us to reach out and touch that part of ourselves, to be more than we appear to be, to connect and try to come to a higher understanding. And for me, faith and religion are two different things. Religion in my eyes, twists what God is to make it what that religion wants it to be, and not what God really is. For in my time, I have heard many different sides to the whole religion thing, but not once has anyone ever tried to find the God inside of themselves that I think each one of us has.
For me, maybe it's string theory, those little tiny strings that connect us to everything else in the universe. Maybe it's my own experiences that have led me to have faith that there is more that just us here. That there may be a higher consciousness, a higher being out there somewhere. But for me, there has always been another side to life, a side most don't see or ever touch upon. I never asked for my strange paranormal life, but I see the difference in me because of it.
Like substances attract, it's a fact of science. Is my reaching out to the other side, and hoping to change the way people feel about their mortality, only reaching out to that part of God that is attached to me by those strings? Sometimes, I do think that maybe, yes, I'm reaching out to touch what is out there, the things I can not help but be connected to, and sometimes, it answers back.
But yes, my life has been strange, confusing and frightening at times. I belong here in the paranormal field, it has been ingrained into my life in ways I can't explain in the limited amount of characters I have here. Something or someone led me here, maybe to make changes in the way people feel about death and the after life. I don't know why, or how, but I think that it just might have been what some call "God" that led me here....