is your word processor a part of the global correctification program?

[wally wonder]

upgraded my off-line computer. i'd been using this ole microsoft word program for quite a few years, ten or so, give or take. i know windows came out w/some new version so what i did was charge a 'puter with windows 9 i think it is. something like that. or no, maybe it's windows 8. windows 9 is maybe the new one.

anyway, i'm not all that 'puter literate and after plugging in all the cords, i start looking for micrsoft word, you know, so i can spend some time there. not present. haaa-rumph! what do i do? i head out to store and pick up a word processing program, maybe that is called word 9. i think the dang thing, the new one, had a program on it and i didn't know it. anyway, i'm up and running.

turns out the printer don't work w/this one. they don't get along. ain't that always the case? so, i got all this electronic gear, most obsolete, sitting around...bought this fax machine thingy cause i thought the one one was on the fritz...only problem is the new fax doesn't have an answering machine...oops. turns out the old fax was okay. spilled some spaghetti sauce on the microphone area...here all this time i was calling in on the cell to change the greeting and all it needed was a good scrubbing.

don't look like i'll be doing any printing w/the new 'puter. mostly i just save it there, stay off-line w/it. but this new word program is a part of the global correctification. what a hoot! the old program, microsoft word, you could hit grammar check, word count, that kind of thing. there were some issues with that, but i forget what they were. had a problem w/contractions, the way i recall.

anyway, this new program wants everything to be gender neutral. say you write something...and i ought to go and look at something to give you a for instance. but you do the grammar check thingy and the program doesn't like for you to use words like "stewardess". prefers "flight attendant". there, that's a for instance. one i remember.

so, the question is, is your word processor part of the global correctification program currently on the menu? or do you have one of those models that gabbers and titters in the background every time you type some word not part of the correct vocabulary? curious. don't believe i've read anything on the board like this. or is it just me?

[PatInTheHat]

Maybe if you could find an old can or glass bottle of Coke (pre high fructose corn syrup, but I'm not sure of the exact vintage) at a flea market or junk/antique store, and then pour it all over everything, then perhaps everything would work in perfect harmony..I'm just sayin'.

Well now that I come to think on it, if my memory serves correctly, for tasty cool and refreshing beverage magic to actually work, you might be required to actually buy the world a Coke...oh yeah, and quite possibly keep it company.



So what your saying is, you seem to have aquired politically correct electronics?
Hmmm....I've personally never heard of it, but I reason that's gotta be why God invented large unwielding hammers.

[Doc Wilson]

I've never experienced anything like this, but it sounds like a starting point for an excellent story.

[mojomofo]

Wait, you mean everyone else actually pays attention to their spell check? Well crud, I just make mine learn everything...

[wally wonder]

the word processor program is called "works 9, your tasks made easier, from start to finish".
had to get a printer yesterday, use the off-line 'puter for work. get it home, hook it up, got side-tracked by the ft. hood incident, watched survivor, nice blindside, went back and finished w/the printer business. no go. i figure i must be doing penance for a former life, must have really lived it up at some point. back to the drawing board.

anyway, got curious about what other things the checker disagreed with. when i used the phrase "the little guy" the checker got upset with that and suggested "the little person". wonder what would have happened had i used "midget".

then, when i used the phrase "the blonde" it got upset again and did offer a couple choices, each gender-based, one was "the blonde-haired woman" or "the blonde-haired man". i figure after about ten years i can drive the program completely bonkers and when i use the checker it'll just start cackling, get with the program, and offer unheard of suggestions.

imagine if i got a printer and the printer refused to print anything that wasn't gender neutral? i can see that coming.

[Baz]

Im sorry Spellcheck is on your case. Its part of there dark plan to control our forts. When I realised I could spell realise, I knew I was bein fiddled with. One day Spellcheck will become self-aware, then what I ask, then what?

[Haunted]

You Guys are just plain scaring the bejeebeez out of me!!!

[aptpupil]

I completely ignore the spellcheck on my computer.

It wants to translate everything into American English, instead of letting me spell words like "colour" the correct way!