Next Stop: Roller Derby Queen?

[Sugar Marie]

Evidently my 10 year old got into a "yo mama" thing - which turned into a "shoving match" thing - on the playground this afternoon. She's serving an in school detention for this infraction of the rules - and I'm inclined to ground her from a Halloween party she's been looking forward to attending as well - but still allowing her to go trick-or-treating on Saturday.

Predictably, my whole family is against punishing her further(well, her older brother will probably be all for it - but he doesn't know about it yet): "She was defending your honor(it seems I'm a "ho" - I mean, maybe for a minute, but that would have been way before this kids' time), for crying out loud!" is the overall consensus from both her father and the peanut gallery.

So, has anyone else had to deal w/this sorta thing? How would you handle it?

I'm actually secretly pleased with her for putting herself out there like that for me, but I'd obviously rather her find more appropriate ways of sticking up for herself, and "remembering the face of her father", as it were. She's a ten year old little girl, not one of those skanky chics on wrestling, after all!

[Nero]

LOL being someone that got into almost exact altercations over this thing at various ages through my illlustrious mischief career, I would say that there are worse misdeeds than those done out of loyalty to family and maybe do some sort of token punishment that wouldn't preclude them from participating in something as once a year as halloween stuff.

Honestly, everytime I got punished for fighting over this as a kid I got the BOOK thrown at me so I missed out on lots of cool stuff as a result... yet it never stopped me from coming to "my momma's" defense next time. If you've got that sort of defensive streak built into you over that when the wrong person says it, it's embedded there's no just making it go away haha.

[Bryan James]

She allowed herself to get into a fight.

She got in trouble at school for doing so.

She found a way out of getting into more trouble at home--she had time to think it over.

You are buying it.

Do you want to buy it forever? Or just until she becomes "one of those skanky chics on wrestling"?

[PatInTheHat]

Could I uhhh..awww shucks....may I have just a minute of your time?

Maybe this will help you decide the fate of poor little Tuffy on All Hallow's Eve..or perhaps you call her Spike.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwhxXjdMPd8


I would let her go by the way.
A good talkin' to about fighting would definitely be in order to be sure, but stickin' up for family, and especialy Mama's, is not somethning I'd punish a kiddo for.
I'm forty nine, and I double dog dare anybody to pop off one about my Mama to this very day.
(When I was in seventh grade, I backed a teacher up against a wall for making what I took as disparaging remark about my Mama...I'd love to see him again today as a matter of fact..you know, talk about the good 'ol days & stuff)

[Becks19]

Oh I feel for you on this. I have a 9 yr old and haven't yet had to deal with anything like this myself. But this is what I would do, I would have a talk with her about the inappropriateness of having a pushing/shoving match stressing that this behavior should only be used as a last resort. I think I'd still let her go to the party, after having a talk with her. (her defending your honor is sweet.) Hope this helps.

[pandora]

Speaking from experience, I would punish her for the simple fact that she let the "drama invade her judgment." This is only the beginning for some young girls. Wait till 6th, 7th and 8th grade. Drama is what some of the girls at that age get sucked into and it would be a shame for her to think that was okay to participate in. There is a certain dignity in quietly going about your day and laughing it off!
She might have thought she was defending you but you should let her know that representing herself and your family in the way she carries herself is always the more noble thing to do.

[scratchesass]

Ya mama eats kitty litter........

Oh, the memories.

From what I can tell, with one older than yours, and one younger, is that kids will be kids.

Sure, it's wrong. But, I honestly think that it's all part of growing up.

"Your mama so fat, when she pop zits her face bleed gravy."

"Yo mama so skanky, white rappers won't put her in a video."

Good luck!

[rjt65]

I would say more info is needed.... who initiated? is there a history with these 2?

How did it start? My point is the scenario is truly the deciding factor in this area...

Was she being bullied -- or did a simple game escalate? who pushed first? Was one being picked on?

etc.... so will withhold judgement

[Perse Jr.]

My dad always told me to throw the "second punch." Terrible. I never did, but having several nieces, one who is 11, I can understand your predicament.

If it's her first offense, I would allow her to go to the party this time. After all, she is serving a detention too. But if she's had issues like this repeatedly in the past, I would cancel the party (sorry Sugar Jr.!).

[Sugar Marie]

Thanks for your input , everyone - and PatInTheHat,(LOL),that Croce song was EXACTLY what I was thinkin' of when I titled this thread(btw, I really dug all the cool tunes you inserted into your section of the Halloween Story).

This is what I did: I got out all my nail stuff, and we had a nice long talk while giving each other mani-pedis(I suggested black polish for her, ya know, to go along w/her new tougher image). Her main assertion was that this other little girl has it in for her, and that she tries to ignore her all the time, but I shouldn't expect her to just stand around and listen to her bad mouthing me. Now, my thinking pretty much mirrors pandora's, and I said as much, adding that it sounded like this kid has been trying to get her goat, and finally succeeded. Hannah just basically fell right into her hands. (it's true that I wasn't there, and can't know positively how everything went down, but there are enough parts to my daughters side of the story that were matching up w/what her principal told me, to make me feel like I was mostly gettin' "the straight dope") Does she wanna just be this other girls' plaything, or does she wanna be her own person?

Anyhow, I ended up telling her that we would table any further punishment until her father and I could talk to her teacher, and unless I hear anything that would put a new spin on things, she'll be going to her party(she and her friends are going as Beyonce and her band - but she's gonna let me "mummify" her for Halloween)

Hey, scratchesass, how 'bout:
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house - she sits aroooound the house!
and
Yo mama's breath is so nasty, when she walks by a clock, it says "tic-tac"
and
Yo mama's like a Saint - a Saint Bernard!

Thanks again for your perspectives, everyone - sometimes it seems like this motherhood thing is filled w/little traps & can be a real pain in the a**