Writing about Sex

[StarDragon77]

This one is a hard one and an awkward one to start.

In a different thread I has asked the question about writing about fear and scary things. Now I'm asking others about writing about sex.

The reason is because in the book that I'm writing (it's pretty much done - I'm just doing the editing parts of it) it has a lot of sexual things in it.

Although I do want to avoid sexual cliches - such as how the nerdy guy is great in bed or how first timers are great all around. I certainly don't want to write it out like that. I essentially want to give it a certain realism edge to it.

Does Stephen King go into this in either Danse Macabre or "On Writing"?

[Srbo]

This one is a hard one and an awkward one to start.

In a different thread I has asked the question about writing about fear and scary things. Now I'm asking others about writing about sex.

The reason is because in the book that I'm writing (it's pretty much done - I'm just doing the editing parts of it) it has a lot of sexual things in it.

Although I do want to avoid sexual cliches - such as how the nerdy guy is great in bed or how first timers are great all around. I certainly don't want to write it out like that. I essentially want to give it a certain realism edge to it.

Does Stephen King go into this in either Danse Macabre or "On Writing"?

Yeah, he does.
He says:

" Write what you know."

PM our very own Sai John Dalglish for infos about his book ( check Erocktica thread ), I`m sure he can guide you in the right direction regarding this question.

[Natjen26]

I think it's important to avoid the whole it's going to be perfect and romantic and ...
I'm going to suppose you've had sex and then you'll know sex is many things but seldom perfect and romantic. Well the romantic depends on your nature of course. But you get the picture.

I've laughed during (not at him of course!) sex. I have been mad, embarrassed, surprised, hurt, swept away..

I know it's hard to describe, but I think that with going easy on the details you'll get there perfectly. For instance I hate to have it step by step described (it reads like a manual), I rather fill in the blanks myself. But if you want to be sure that you and the reader are thinking the same thing while respectively writing and reading it, be creative!!

And that's my advice. I'm not a experienced writer, at the age of 25 who is (with the exception of the one we all admire!), but I write and seem to have no issues with describing the sex..

[LadyPain]

Hmmm... if you can, read JohnD's Consenting Adults as well.

I'm part way through it and it's friggin' phenomenal in how it is written concerning sex. Right to the point, honest and in your face...

[staropeace]

Dont know if I hold with that "write what you know" advice. Glad alot of mystery writers didnt consider this at all. I am sure most of them are not murderers. I am sure King is not a vampire,a rabid dog,a devil,a firestarter.............lol..........I am having fun .....in my saucy mood.

[BlackThorn]

I don't understand. What part about sex?

The sexual parts, the act of sex?

I always like the way King did the sexy parts, like when he mentions Nadine, who's just now completely committing to being a 'bad girl', starts gettin' horny from it's movement, and admits it to herself, as she's riding her Vespa to meet Harold.

The way he introduced it was great. You might have already been thinking in that direction, you might have already been attracted to her, especially in relation to all the other female characters you've been introduced to at that point... either way, it fit right in, and the fact that King comes right out and throws it in your face, and makes you deal with it...

Ooo. It just totally fit. Or like when one of my favorite little honeys (usually I'm not into little misquito bites ) who didn't like to be called Cookie touched that baaaadddddddd little Can-Tah...

The way King walks you through and wisps you against how she just instantly reached sexual peak... Ooo, that was gravy. He grabs your minds eye and rolls it down how the burst of electricity in her mind jolted her not only into an amazing sexual peak, but how her mind was forced to twist and look at really dirty things, and push that into where the orgasm came from... and then he backs off it back to where she is now, and she is still reeling from the reverberation of where her mind and body just went, and whether or not she wanted it again... (figures the girl woulda touched it twice... )

Oooo... I liked in 'The Stand' where Rita and Larry just took over their own bodies with masturbation, between rounds of sex. I liked the way Rita showed it to Larry like it was just the way the playing has to be, and how he liked it extra because of the excitement of being led like that.

Soo, are you asking about how to write direct sexual scenes? When the heroes do it? When King hits on those, he usually just fire the sexual scene up, then glances at it once or a few times and explains how it is to the characters emotionally, or what it reminded them of and was like, and just gives you a quick feel to it, and it's end. I liked when King stated about Coral and Jonas. That was fun. He just said they loved it, absolutely loved it, and described how it kept getting better, and it was great, and dark, and extremely aggressive.

He only mentioned it a little bit, but how Kings explanation of their sexual escapades rolled around in my mind, really gave me a reason to envy the guy. Nothing else would have. I still can't stand Jonas. He's just a greedy bully who knows how to always end up on top, who would love to bash anyone for no good reason.

But that sex man... Everyone on this planet who's ever lived, knows that there's sex, and that there's amazing sex. You could have the same partner for ten years, and get the amazing sex every once in a while, and when you get it, you just smile like a dog rewarded with a plate of bacon for the longest time, and even go to bed that way. Those two had that sex, every time. And they only ever turned it up more too. Mmm. It gave me a reason to friggin' hate him. I'm not even gettin' it like that damnit! Haha.

The massive icicle analogy made me feel pretty bad for Susan too.

I am absolutely amazed and entranced when I read King's literary work, and a large portion of that entrancement is directly related to how he plainly and factually shows you a side of a character that he want you to see, so you form your own opinion of the character, and really begin to feel for them. If you begin to really feel for a character, and then you catch a glimpse of their passions, it means a lot more. You're sharing something with the artists eye that best friends wouldn't even see about someone in an entire lifetime of friendship.

But really, he touches on it just right enough so your mind fills in the blanks. I sure as hell have large chunks of mental animation hardwired now about certian King scenes.

Remember when Nadine just masturbated? Right in front of everyone, right when everyone was watching. All the time. I do.

[Bryan James]

If you're editing, you are probably subtracting (I work backwards, I addit, but that's just me), and if "it has a lot of sexual things in it," you'd better have that working for you already if that's central to your story.

That's a tough question though. I guess it depends on what the story demands. Is it the schoolroom kiss from "E.T." or a complete Peter North action sequence?

I like the nakeds. Don't get me wrong. But if I'm wrapped up in a story and I wonder what's going to happen and then "a pinkly glowing shaft appeared, twitching eagerly" or if there's a "thick forest of secret womanhood" I just shut the book and sell it.

Unless you're writing for the porn industry specifically, the before and after are more important than insert Tab "A" into Slot "B."

Good luck, tough question, and it made me think.

BJS

[michal]

Being a commercial writer I had to write about sexual experiences of fictional people quite a few time (it sometimes seem that writing for the internet, even if you are promoting mineral water, always ends up in writing an erotic so called "blog" - ah, the lovely spamming of the WWW )

Anyway, to keep scenes real I find it easier to describe flashes of feeling or texture instead of covering the whole process. The softness of the skin behind her knee. The roughness of his bristle against her chick. The wetness of their lips when they finally meet each other in the darkness in an instant, shocking revelation.

Don't know if that helps you, but sometimes putting fragments and letting teh reader work his own private passion into the situation, makes this part of the work much easier.

[Robert Gray]

It depends by what kind of help you need. Sex in "good" fiction is a side effect, not a goal. By that I mean the sex (however much) flows from the story and is driven by character logic.

[Malie.Rae]

If you are talking about how much sex to have in a book, or how descriptive, what I've learned, because I'm writing stories that involve sexual content, is to not have tons of sex. Unless you are writing an Erotica and that is the focus of the book, you should have little bit, but mostly closed door. Implied sex, pretty much what everyone else has said.