Of memories to come

I've wrote a diary about my special moments in my life, which I started about 13 years ago. But I don't think I will ever show it to my
kids if I ever get any kids. It's just my diary and I will only read it for myself and keep those memories for myself.

Having been to too many funerals of family members, I often think about what people would say at my funeral. Maybe I have a big ego but I can't imagine that I haven't somehow changed the lives of the people I know in at least some little way, or maybe even some big ways (in the case of close friends and immediate family). I feel connected to people and that is important to me. What will they say about me? Hopefully my kids will say I was a good father, provider, confidante, and friend. Luckily every day I get to another chance to try my best at each of those things.

I always think about how what I do now will affect my son inj the future. Are we good parents. We do try to think about how this or that will affect him, but you know, sometimes you can think too much. I think sometimes you just need to get on with it and trust your instincts. Things like Christmas traditions we want to be happy memories, but sometimes you just do and don't really think. Does that make any sense?