Dear Dad...

[Srbo]

Back in those dark times, times that will never be forgotten, no matter how hard I try…I didn`t worry, dad, that I couldn`t see you for weeks, sometimes even for months.
I knew that, no matter what is happening around you, you still had those same, carrying, deep green eyes…full of Love for all people.

It didn`t make me sad, father, that I could not give you a hug or feel your hand on my shoulder.
I knew that that hand was still strong, like long ago, back then when you were teaching me how to walk and your hand was holding me, watching out for me not to fall.

I didn`t worry that I could hear your voice sometimes only over radio contact…if even that…it still sounded warm and strong, giving me courage…and I knew that You were giving courage and hope to people around you just by talking to them, in that bright voice of yours…

I didn`t worry that your hair grew gray and in some spots even white when I saw that picture that that guy, whatever his name was, God bless him, gave me when he came over to our Stand…I knew that your soul was still young and beautiful, full of light…no matter how dark everything around you was…

I didn`t worry that many of your friends have gone to a better place and that you would be lonely…I knew that you would always find new ones, friends that would love you and you would love them…like back then, in the good old times…

I didn`t worry about you watching our world fall apart and that you were sometimes deep in thoughts…I knew that you would always search for someone who was more worried then you and that you would try to give him strength and courage to go on…

I didn`t worry, dad…because I always believed in you, I believed that the madness is going to end and that some day we would be sitting together again in front of our old house and that our laughter would be heard a few blocks down the street…I believed that we are going to live.

But…you didn`t live.
You died.
They took you away, they took those green eyes, that gentle smile, those carrying hands…they took you away and you never came back.

And what does worry me, daddy…is that I know that you were thinking of me when you died…and I didn`t know you were dying...and that I was not there for you to help you…that I could have done maybe more then just believe that we would be together again…

And that, daddy, will worry me for the rest of my life, even though I know it`s not my fault...or anybodys … the beast was awake for a long time back then and there was nothing we, people, could do about it…except hope that it will go back to sleep...

I just wish you could be here to see your granddaughter..if just for a second…

I don`t like Novembers, daddy…you died on a cold November day…and I will always worry…when November comes…

[Dana Jean]

You made me cry.

[JohnDalglish]

Hi,

Tears here, thankee for sharing that, Srbo.

(((((Srbo)))))))

Long days and pleasant nights

[bopropadop]

Srbo - that is very sad and beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I wish you well during this month and going forward.

[dejolane]

My dad died in 1995. He had only seen 3 of his grandkids (there are 5) And 2 great grandkids,which he will never know. But I know he is looking down from heaven and watching them. I miss him alot.

Debbie

[brownmouse]

So sad. You father sounds like he was a wonderful man, Srbo. He is at peace now and I know is watching his granddaughter with love from above.

[Dana]

((((Srbo)))):down:

[Gwenivere]

((((Srbo))))
I feel the same way when July rolls around. August, Sept, Oct, etc..
You are far from alone and it’s not our fault.

[Sheila Carlyle]

Oh, sweetheart.

[hipmamajen]

Oh Srbo, I'm sending hugs. :(

[Kim L.]

(((((Srbo)))))
Thank you for sharing your hurt and loss with us. I believe your father knows how much you love him.

[Born In Sin]

You have remembered the face of your father! (((Srbo)))

[Eleese of Gilead.]

This has moved me. Thank you for your courage, it must have been hard to write this, I do appreciate what you have shared.

-Eleese

[FlakeNoir]

I bet your dad is proud of you (((Srbo)))... and that he loves his grandbaby-girl. This is such a cliche - (& thanks a lot Titanic) - but, I really do believe that the 'heart does go on'. It's what allows me to go on.

[Spideyman]

I read this earlier today and had to step back with tears in my eyes. My dad passed in 2000. Your tribute is wonderful. May the remainder of this month come with only green lights.

[Agincourt Concierge]

Srbo, thank you for sharing. I too lost my Dad, in 2005. I was Daddy's girl, through and through...thank goodness he got to enjoy his grandsons for a time. Dads leave a really big hole in the heart when they go. :down:

[MadamMack]

Srbo . . .your dad sees his grandbaby and he's very proud of you. I'm proud to know you because you have a beautiful heart.

[aussiewonder]

I dont know what to say, you are not alone.

[BlackEye]

That was beautiful. Your father is proud you told him this, I'm sure of it. Hang in there, many hugs. :)

[dejolane]

When we all lose a love one, she/he will always be in our hearts. :sad: Think of the good times you had with your love ones. Your mother & father were your life.

Debbie

[MrsSmeej]

((((((Srbo))))))

[sheba41]

:sad: that was beautiful....

[Srbo]

Thank you everybody so much on reading this and leaving your comments...

I feel better now that I know I am not alone with that pain...

But...no tears, please...

`Coz...when we are sad...I believe that our loved ones who have past away are sad for us.

I am proud to know you guys, and to be a member of this family.

[poisonbat]

Srbo, I am late in answering this thread for one reason. I am still deeply in the grief process for my grandfather. July 27th will always be ingrained in my memory. The tears did flow when I read your post, I can feel your pain. I have lost all of my grandparents now but still have my parents. I can not imagine the pain of losing them although I know it will happen eventually. Many prayers and blessings are being sent your way from me. :bat:

[Gallina]

Thank you for sharing Srbo!

[Nero]

started to read it, couldn't finish. hits too close to home for me.

but from what I saw, very nice and thoughtful and brave post. I'm sorry for what it's worth from someone who is across the internets :(

[Srbo]

Poisonbat, I know how you feel...well, what can I say...keep the memory alive...
Somebody once said that people never die for as long there is somebody to think about them and to love them...

Thank you Volic for reading...

And thanks Nero for the kind words...

[Srbo]

And...if anybody is interested in what happened in ex-Yugoslavia, during the civil War in the 90-ties, and has two hours to spend on it...

Here is a link to a serbian movie called "Pretty Village Pretty Flame" ( it has english subtitles )...a movie about two childhood friends, a Serb and a Muslim...and everything that happened to them...in the war and before it...

It's as close as it gets to what happened over there... so, if you want to...watch it...

http://vinovo.magnify.net/video/Lepa-Brena/theater#theater_title

[Srbo]

Well, on this day you were born...

Don`t know what else to say...

[Haunted]

Back in those dark times, times that will never be forgotten, no matter how hard I try…I didn`t worry, dad, that I couldn`t see you for weeks, sometimes even for months.
I knew that, no matter what is happening around you, you still had those same, carrying, deep green eyes…full of Love for all people.

It didn`t make me sad, father, that I could not give you a hug or feel your hand on my shoulder.
I knew that that hand was still strong, like long ago, back then when you were teaching me how to walk and your hand was holding me, watching out for me not to fall.

I didn`t worry that I could hear your voice sometimes only over radio contact…if even that…it still sounded warm and strong, giving me courage…and I knew that You were giving courage and hope to people around you just by talking to them, in that bright voice of yours…

I didn`t worry that your hair grew gray and in some spots even white when I saw that picture that that guy, whatever his name was, God bless him, gave me when he came over to our Stand…I knew that your soul was still young and beautiful, full of light…no matter how dark everything around you was…

I didn`t worry that many of your friends have gone to a better place and that you would be lonely…I knew that you would always find new ones, friends that would love you and you would love them…like back then, in the good old times…

I didn`t worry about you watching our world fall apart and that you were sometimes deep in thoughts…I knew that you would always search for someone who was more worried then you and that you would try to give him strength and courage to go on…

I didn`t worry, dad…because I always believed in you, I believed that the madness is going to end and that some day we would be sitting together again in front of our old house and that our laughter would be heard a few blocks down the street…I believed that we are going to live.

But…you didn`t live.
You died.
They took you away, they took those green eyes, that gentle smile, those carrying hands…they took you away and you never came back.

And what does worry me, daddy…is that I know that you were thinking of me when you died…and I didn`t know you were dying...and that I was not there for you to help you…that I could have done maybe more then just believe that we would be together again…

And that, daddy, will worry me for the rest of my life, even though I know it`s not my fault...or anybodys … the beast was awake for a long time back then and there was nothing we, people, could do about it…except hope that it will go back to sleep...

I just wish you could be here to see your granddaughter..if just for a second…

I don`t like Novembers, daddy…you died on a cold November day…and I will always worry…when November comes…

God Bless you, Dearest Heart. It hurts, I know. But he will always be with you in your memories. Bless your memories. Biggest of hugs for you.

[Gallina]

And...if anybody is interested in what happened in ex-Yugoslavia, during the civil War in the 90-ties, and has two hours to spend on it...

Here is a link to a serbian movie called "Pretty Village Pretty Flame" ( it has english subtitles )...a movie about two childhood friends, a Serb and a Muslim...and everything that happened to them...in the war and before it...

It's as close as it gets to what happened over there... so, if you want to...watch it...

http://vinovo.magnify.net/video/Lepa-Brena/theater#theater_title

Thank you for the link Srbo. :smile2:

[lilredkdn]

That was touching. (((Srbo)))

[Srbo]

Volic..did yu watch the movie ?

Tell me please what do you think...

Haunted, God bless your heart.

Haunted..a very good screen name...or a middle name you night even say...:smile2:

Lil, thank you for reading.

:smile2:

[Jay77]

Back in those dark times, times that will never be forgotten, no matter how hard I try…I didn`t worry, dad, that I couldn`t see you for weeks, sometimes even for months.
I knew that, no matter what is happening around you, you still had those same, carrying, deep green eyes…full of Love for all people.

It didn`t make me sad, father, that I could not give you a hug or feel your hand on my shoulder.
I knew that that hand was still strong, like long ago, back then when you were teaching me how to walk and your hand was holding me, watching out for me not to fall.

I didn`t worry that I could hear your voice sometimes only over radio contact…if even that…it still sounded warm and strong, giving me courage…and I knew that You were giving courage and hope to people around you just by talking to them, in that bright voice of yours…

I didn`t worry that your hair grew gray and in some spots even white when I saw that picture that that guy, whatever his name was, God bless him, gave me when he came over to our Stand…I knew that your soul was still young and beautiful, full of light…no matter how dark everything around you was…

I didn`t worry that many of your friends have gone to a better place and that you would be lonely…I knew that you would always find new ones, friends that would love you and you would love them…like back then, in the good old times…

I didn`t worry about you watching our world fall apart and that you were sometimes deep in thoughts…I knew that you would always search for someone who was more worried then you and that you would try to give him strength and courage to go on…

I didn`t worry, dad…because I always believed in you, I believed that the madness is going to end and that some day we would be sitting together again in front of our old house and that our laughter would be heard a few blocks down the street…I believed that we are going to live.

But…you didn`t live.
You died.
They took you away, they took those green eyes, that gentle smile, those carrying hands…they took you away and you never came back.

And what does worry me, daddy…is that I know that you were thinking of me when you died…and I didn`t know you were dying...and that I was not there for you to help you…that I could have done maybe more then just believe that we would be together again…

And that, daddy, will worry me for the rest of my life, even though I know it`s not my fault...or anybodys … the beast was awake for a long time back then and there was nothing we, people, could do about it…except hope that it will go back to sleep...

I just wish you could be here to see your granddaughter..if just for a second…

I don`t like Novembers, daddy…you died on a cold November day…and I will always worry…when November comes…

Absolutely beautiful. I loved it.

[lilydust76]

Srbo, that was touching, in more ways than one. We've all lost someone, and death is never an easy thing to deal with. I still will have something happen, and reach for the phone to call my grandfather, and remember, again, that he's dead. It hurts, and I don't think it ever stops, maybe just gets a bit more manageable over time.
My thought and prayers are with you.
((((((Srbo))))))

[Srbo]

Thank you, Lilydust and Jay for reading.

[Srbo]

Thank you for the link Srbo. :smile2:


Volic, my dear, you never told me what you thought of the movie...

[tillyn]

Thank you for sharing.

[Srbo]

Thank you so much for reading, Lucy.

It still breaks my heart...this is the one that a human being can`t ever forget...or even stop thinking about if even for just a litlle while...:sad:

[smooth operator]

Oh Srbo, I'm sending hugs. :(

Me too. Great big ones.

[Chelle71]

Wow that was beautiful...

[AngelZ]

Srbo -- sending out a hug...

[Srbo]

Yet another year passed without you, you green-eyed, proud son from the sad fields of the Balkans...
Not a day has passed, Dad, that I don`t think about you, not one.
And never will.
Hard life without you, hard to remember the way you left us, I am still in denial that people can do what they did to you...but I`m glad I knew you, I`m glad you were around...
I will never stop loving you and telling stories about you, about your kindness, about your Love, about your wonderful soul...
For as long as I live , you, Daddy, will never be forgotten...:(

Rest in peace, my dear Father...

[Srbo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HglpEBtxRh0

By a lonely prison wall,
I heard a young man call
..."Nothing matters, Mary, when you're free
Against the famine and the crown,
I rebelled, they cut me down.
Now you must raise our child with dignity."

Low lie the fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly
Our love was on the wing
We had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely round the fields of Athenry.

By a lonely harbor wall,
She watched the last star fall
As the prison ship sailed out against the sky
For she lived to hope and pray
For her love in Botany Bay
It's so lonely round the fields of Athenry.

Low lie the fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly
Our love was on the wing
We had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely round the fields of Athenry.

[catnoel]

Sorry for your loss Sbro.....your father has reached the clearing in the path and you have been left behind with the memories....it is a burden to those of us left behind in this reality................perhaps you will meet again...........I don't think this is it for any of us!!! Stay strong and sweet!!!

[king family fan]

That is beautiful,very touching. We would all love to be remembered like that.Thank-you so very much for sharing. My eyes are filled with tears.

[Mookie]

Srbo, I am sorry for your loss. Hold those memories close...memories will always keep your Father alive in your heart. ((( Srbo and family)) I'm sure that your Father is smiling down on your little angel.

[mojomofo]

Srbo, my heart goes out to you. Your father's spirit lives on in you, and it is a thing of beauty.

[Srbo]

I am really thankful I can share this with you, my friends.
It is sad, I know we all lost someone, maybe it`s to heavy or whatnot..but I DO share everything with my family...and the SKMB board members are my family....

When Steve wrote " You have forgotten the face of your Father "...in my interpretation he did not think only of the face of a real father, but of every person who ever did a right by you, and you payed him/her back wrong by doing something bad to other people...

Every person, every real friend can be close to you as your Father was, if he/she is honest and loves and respects you and vice-versa..

Just like you guys here...a Love and understanding that will not be found anywhere else...

[Srbo]

Maybe, Daddy, just maybe, you would sing this to me today...or any other day....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYRnnHOHrEo&feature=fvst

[JellybeanJay]

Srbo, my hubby was in Yugo in the late 90's with the Canadian Military. He came home a changed man and not for the better. The things he saw while he was there for his 6 month tour was beyond my comprehension. I cannot imagine what life would have been like growing up there. You are a wonderful kind man and I am happy to know you.

(((Srbo)))

[Srbo]

He came home a changed man and not for the better.

I believe that with all my heart.

NONE has ever seen( prior to that) kill his own mother of father, because, lets say, Dad was a Serb, and the son felt like a muslim, coz his mother was one...or vice -versa...

The War in ex-Yugo was one of the most insane things that ever happened on this planet...:sad:

[Agincourt Concierge]

Srbo.. you are not alone...

My father dropped dead to the floor.. no warning .... no nothing... one day I'm talking to him on the phone.. the very next day.. he's dead.
I was in Virginia .. he in Massachusetts...

that was 5 years ago... and I still miss his smile and laugh... and I long for just one more hug and kiss from my Dad... he and I were so very close...

he will never see his grandsons graduate high school, go to college, get married..... in fact.. my sons were getting to be the age in which he could really enjoy their company... hold intelligent conversations with them... my heart grieves for them... and what they will miss not having their wonderful grandfather in their life anymore...

thank you for sharing... I too have tears in my eyes... for your loss and mine....

[Lily Sawyer]

Drugaru, keep writing. :)

[Ela]

wow.. it made me think of my dad again. It took me at least six years to finally let go of him. I don't cry anymore and it feels good not to.
I hope one day you'll be able to let go of worries and find some other beautiful vision to hold onto when the time to remember comes.. because I am kind of sure he would rather see you happy and holding a happy thought because good thought gets us closer to a better future, negative thoughts keep us torn apart.
but.. we must take as much time as we need to heal, so hopefuly you'll get to your understanding soon.
Thank you for sharing wonderful thoughts about your father.
I don't cry anymore and it really feels good not to.
Have a great day

[fushingfeef]

Srbo, you have all the support and love I can give, such as it is. Cling to your wonderful wife and child and Novembers will seem a little less cold.

[deroche]

Very beautiful and very moving.

[kingfan70]

Oh Srbo! This really touched my heart and made me cry. Thinking of my own dad who passed away in February, 5 years ago. I would sit beside him and hold his hand after his chemo treatment. He was so very weak.:down: I still miss and think of him everyday. (((HUGS))) to you my friend.

[Srbo]

Don`t cry...
I know, we all lost someone, but we will meet again in other Worlds than this one...

[Mr Nobody]

I'm not a religious man, but I do believe that, when we pass, our pains are forgotten, our sins forgiven, and misdeeds - our own and those of others - are understood. I also believe that our lost loved ones do wait, but patiently, knowing that we have duties to perform in this life first.

Srbo, you do your father great honour in the act of remembrance. It shows your love and respect for the man, just as it also shows his own quality passing to the son he raised.