Favourite Quotes and Quotations

[Becks19]

The world is a dangerous place to live - not because of the people who are evil but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
- Albert Einstein |

When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein |

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

[blunthead]

Mark Twain vol 1...

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

[flwrchld]

Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
- Alfred Hitchcock

:oo: :laugh: :eek2:

[blunthead]

Mark Twain vol 2...

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

[MrsSmeej]

:sleepy:

In Memory of the seven Challenger astronauts (Commander Francis R. (Dick) Scobee, Pilot Michael J. Smith, Mission specialists Ronald E. McNair, Ellison S. Onizuka and Judith A. Resnik, and Payload specialists Gregory B. Jarvis and Christa McAuliffe) who, on this day twenty five years ago;

"... Slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God..."

- Crafted by Peggy Noonan; Delivered by President Ronald Reagan

[Becks19]

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan

It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall, but to lie there and grunt is.
- Josh Billings

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
- Indira Gandhi

[Sigmund]

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life
Winston Churchill


There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him it is right....
Martin Luther



The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others.
Solomon Ibn Gabriol

[Haunted]

Genius is not a gift but the way a person invents in desperate circumstances.
-Jean-Paul Sarte

[Haunted]

May your bare ass always be shining.
Eleanor Roosevelt to Gypsey Rose Lee, 1959

[blunthead]

Mark Twain vol 3...

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

[Becks19]

The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Neither is a dictionary a bad book to read. There is no cant in it, no excess of explanation, and it is full of suggestions, the raw material of possible poems and histories.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tis the good reader that makes the good book.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A cynic can chill and dishearten with a single word.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Haunted]

The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Neither is a dictionary a bad book to read. There is no cant in it, no excess of explanation, and it is full of suggestions, the raw material of possible poems and histories.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Tis the good reader that makes the good book.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson*

A cynic can chill and dishearten with a single word.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

*that's us!! that's us!! :biggrin2::biggrin2::biggrin2:

[DwayneHoover]

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes." Unknown addage

[blunthead]

Will Rogers vol 1...

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

[Haunted]

Real glory springs from the silent conquest of ourselves.
~Joseph P. Thompson

[blunthead]

Will Rogers vol 2...

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

[TBL]

"The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed."

[blunthead]

Will Rogers vol 3...

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

[Haunted]

"By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing.
And he vows his passion is,
Infinite, undying.
Lady make note of this --
One of you is lying."
— Dorothy Parker



:eek2:

[blunthead]

Stupid Quotes vol 1...

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. --Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.

I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing, if the price is right. --Marlon Starling

Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding. --Mickey Rivers, baseball player

We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite. --Murray Walker, Sportscaster

That's just the tip of the ice cube. --Neil Hamilton, BBC2

Guys aren't able to get $15 or $20 million anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game. --Penny Hardaway, NBA Basketball Player

The FA are still optimistic about England's bid to stage the World Cup in twenty thousand and six. --Peter Snow, BBC2 anchorman

I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes. --Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh

I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to. --Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.

I don't think we learned a lesson; I think it was a learning experience for us. --Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, after game 4 of the 2001 NBA finals, on being asked by NBC reporter Jim Gray if LA had learned a lesson from what happened the previous year in Indiana.

[JohnDalglish]

Hi,

I got a great line (IMO) out of Terry Pratchett's book 'Jingo' last night that I'm just dyimg to use, probably in one of the political threads -

'He'd be out of his depth on a wet pavement'

Love it!

Long days and pleasant nights

[blunthead]

Federal Employee Performance Evaluations vol 1...

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."

"This associate is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change feet."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better we'll be."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

[Haunted]

Federal Employee Performance Evaluations vol 1...

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere but only out of morbid curiosity."

"This associate is really not so much a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change feet."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better we'll be."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

Ah yes, I worked with many of these and evaluated quite a few myself :eek2:...BUT on the whole I have to avow that the Federal employee is very hard working and conscientious.

[blunthead]

These are actual lines from military performance appraisals.

1. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching.

2. A room temperature IQ.

3. Got a full sixpack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

4. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

5. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

6. Bright as Alaska in December.

7. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

8. He's so dense, light bends around him.

9. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

10. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

11. Takes him 1-1/2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

12. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

13. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

14. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

[GLewman]

Hi,

I got a great line (IMO) out of Terry Pratchett's book 'Jingo' last night that I'm just dyimg to use, probably in one of the political threads -

'He'd be out of his depth on a wet pavement'

Love it!

Long days and pleasant nights

I'll be waiting ...:laugh:

[Becks19]

Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.
- John F. Kennedy

[JohnDalglish]

I'll be waiting ...:laugh:

Hi,

But the waiting is the hardest part.

Long days and pleasant nights

[Petrollika]

I posted this in a different thread, but it reminded me of what a great quote it was, from one of my favourite films of all time (the actor's not too shabby either :biggrin2:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31pQOiclaTo

[Becks19]

It is good taste, and good taste alone, that possesses the power to sterilize and is always the first handicap to any creative functioning.
- Salvador Dali

[Sigmund]

We need men who can dream of things that never were. (http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/2022.html)
John F. Kennedy (http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/John_F._Kennedy/)


There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/25306.html) William Shakespeare (http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/William_Shakespeare/)

[Haunted]

He who's not busy being born is busy dying
~ Bob Dylan

[blunthead]

CSLewis vol 1...

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word "darkness" on the walls of his cell.

A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.

An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.

Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable.

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.

Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.

Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.

[randallFlaggfan1]

It is good taste, and good taste alone, that possesses the power to sterilize and is always the first handicap to any creative functioning.
- Salvador Dali


I love this one, Mookie.
I noticed that Professor JD posted it in the School Day thread.....

[esspwebmaster]

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
Lara Gassen
college papers (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essayprovider. com%2F)

[Haunted]

You're dealing with a vampire with a day pass.
Gary Busey

[Becks19]

I love this one, Mookie.
I noticed that Professor JD posted it in the School Day thread.....

:smile2::cool2:!!

[blunthead]

CSLewis vol 2...

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.

Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

I gave in, and admitted that God was God.

[JohnDalglish]

He who's not busy being born is busy dying
~ Bob Dylan

Hi,

'It's easy to see without looking too far that not much is really sacred'
- also Bob Dylan

Long days and pleasant nights

[Becks19]

Through zeal, knowledge is gotten; through lack of zeal, knowledge is lost.
- Buddha

People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind.
- William Butler Yeats

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

It is unavoidable that if we learn more about a great man's life, we shall also hear of occasions on which he has done no better than we, and has in fact come nearer to us as a human being.
- Sigmund Freud

[blunthead]

Later on, when the crowd thinned out I was just about to do the same --Dylan

[Sigmund]

Virginia Woolfe Quotes

"To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves."

"These are the soul's changes. I don't believe in ageing. I believe in forever altering one's aspect to the sun. Hence my optimism."

"The truth is, I often like women. I like their unconventionality. I like their completeness. I like their anonymity."

"The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages."

"Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size."

"The beauty of the world, which is so soon to perish, has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder."

"Who shall measure the hat and violence of the poet's heart when caught and tangled in a woman's body?"

"If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people."

"A good essay must have this permanent quality about it; it must draw its curtain round us, but it must be a curtain that shuts us in not out."

"Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works."

"I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in."

"The first duty of a lecturer - to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up between the pages of your notebooks and keep on the mantlepiece forever."

"The older one grows, the more one likes indecency."

"A masterpiece is something said once and for all, stated, finished, so that it's there complete in the mind, if only at the back."

"Arrange whatever pieces come your way."

"Fiction is like a spider's web, attached ever so slightly perhaps, but still attached to life at all four corners. Often the attachment is scarcely perceptible."

"Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue."

"Really I don't like human nature unless all candied over with art."

"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."

"Where the Mind is biggest, the Heart, the Senses, Magnanimity, Charity, Tolerance, Kindliness, and the rest of them scarcely have room to breathe."

[Connie Reader]

"Where ever you go, there you are."

Originally from Confucious but I hear the song "Autumn Walker" by Jets to Brazil when I think of it.
A sad 'goodbye love' rock song.

[fljoe0]

"Classic, a book which people praise and don't read" - Mark Twain

"I haven't heard anything like that since the orphanage burned down" - Mark Twain when asked what he thought of the opera.

[Haunted]

“Nature is merciful and does not try her children, man or beast, beyond their compass. It is only where the cruelty of man intervenes that hellish torments appear. For the rest​—​live dangerously; take things as they come; dread naught, all will be well.”

Winston Churchill
December 1931

[Becks19]

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
- Helen Keller

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
- Helen Keller

Science may have found a cure for most evils: but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Literature is my utopia.
- Helen Keller

I do not want the peace which pass-eth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
- Helen Keller

[blunthead]

Stupid Quotes vol 2...

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." --Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." --Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." --Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." --Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." --Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." --AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." --Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." --Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." --Bill Peterson, football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net." --Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

[fljoe0]

"In New York, spitting on the sidewalk is a $50.00 fine"
"Vomitting is free" - George Carlin

[blunthead]

Stupid Quotes vol 3...

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."--Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." --Barbara Boxer, Senator

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." --Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." --Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." --Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" --Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" --Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

[dspear237]

Edna Mode: I never look back, dahling. It distracts from the now.

[blunthead]

Edna Mode: I never look back, dahling. It distracts from the now.

Oh how I love The Incredibles!!!

Edna Mode: NO CAPES!!!

[Haunted]

The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.
~ George Bernard Shaw

[blurbol]

Miss oh so young and pretty!

[fljoe0]

SPORTS QUOTES

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” – Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.

“I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.”
-Boxing great Rocky Graziano

“The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.”
Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’”

"I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won."—Muhammad Ali

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."—N.C. State basketball player Charles Shackleford

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."—Pitcher Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.

[blunthead]

Stupid Quotes vol 4...

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally." --Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." --Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

"And now, will y'all stand and be recognized." --Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." --Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch." --Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

"Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway." --Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane.

"I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist temple." --Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President when asked about his illegal fund-raising activities that took place in a Buddhist temple.

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything." --Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." --Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

[Sigmund]

JohnLennon Quotes

"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?"


"Song writing is about getting the demon out of me. It's like being possessed. You try to go to sleep, but the song won't let you. So you have to get up and make it into something, and then you're allowed to sleep."

"Everything is clearer when you're in love."

"It's fear of the unknown. The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that--it's all illusion. Unknown is what it is. Accept that it's unknown and it's plain sailing. Everything is unknown--then you're ahead of the game. That's what it is. Right?"

"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination."

[Haunted]

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
~ C.S. Lewis

[Petrollika]

11424
One of my very favourites :grinning:

[blunthead]

Rodney Dangerfield vol 1...

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

[Becks19]

Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.
- Mother Teresa

Defer not till tomorrow to be wise, tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise.
- William Congreve

You must learn day by day, year by year, to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens.
- Ethel Barrymore

The biggest quality in successful people I think is an impatience with negative thinking. ... How many opportunities come along? If you wait for the right one, that's wrong, because it may never be right, and what have you got to lose? Even if it's a disaster, you've tried, you've learned something, you've had an adventure. And that doesn't mean you can't do it again.
- Edward McCabe

We do not write as we want, but as we can.
- W Somerset Maugham


Great men are they who see that the spiritual is stronger than any material force, that thoughts rule the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of all the beauty that's still left in and around you and be happy!
- Anne Frank

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear on cheerfully, do all bravely, awaiting occasions, worry never; in a word to, like the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common.
- William Ellery Channing

[Sigmund]

The healthiest response to life is joy.
Deepak Chopra


The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth.
Chinese Proverb


What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.
Joseph Addison


Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.
Charles Dickens


Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein

[mar y sol]

"This is a snakeskin jacket, and for me it's a symbol of my individuality, and my beleif in personal freedom" -Sailor, Wild at Heart

[blunthead]

Rodney Dangerfield vol 2...

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my wife the truth: I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent know what we are talking about.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

[RandomMan]

Just read this one the other day...

"People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have have the heart of a small boy...and I keep it in a jar on my desk."
S.K.

...if this is a legit quote, I find it hilarious!

[blunthead]

Rodney Dangerfield vol 3...

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.

[Becks19]

Of course if you like your kids, if you love them from the moment they begin, you yourself begin all over again, in them and with them.
- William Saroyan

To nourish children and raise them against odds is in any time, any place, more valuable than to fix bolts in cars or design nuclear weapons.
- Marilyn French


Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself- it is the occurring which is difficult.
- Stephen Leacock

Blind zeal can only do harm.
- Magnus Gottfried Lichtwer

He who receives a good turn should never forget it; he who does one should never remember it.
- Pierre Charron

Good teaching is 1/4th preparation and 3/4ths theatre.
- Gail Godwin

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; When health is lost, something is lost; When character is lost, all is lost!
- Anonymous

A voice is a human gift; it should be cherished and used, to utter as fully human speech as possible. Powerlessness and silence go together.
- Margaret Atwood

Many have been the wise speeches of fools, though not so many as the foolish speeches of wise men.
- Thomas Fuller

[blunthead]

Rodney Dangerfield vol 4...

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

[Haunted]

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
~ Erica Jong

[Becks19]

There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first... when you learn to live for others, they will live for you.
- Paramahansa Yogananda


Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick


Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul.
- Michel de Montaigne


An oak and a reed were arguing about their strength. When a strong wind came up, the reed avoided being uprooted by bending and leaning with the gusts of wind. But the oak stood firm and was torn up by the roots.
- Aesop

For the unlearned, old age is winter; for the learned, it is the season of the harvest.
- Hasidic saying

[blunthead]

Henny Youngman vol 1...

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave it up - they have no holidays.

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

[Haunted]

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis

[blunthead]

Henny Youngman vol 2...

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

[fljoe0]

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself - my father (don't know where he got it from)

[JohnDalglish]

If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself - my father (don't know where he got it from)

Hi,

Ain't dat de troof!

Long days and pleasant nights

[xkittyx]

Here's a couple I like:
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." - Aldous Huxley

"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." - Lewis Carroll

"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." - Lemony Snicket

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance." - George Bernard Shaw

"Bango Skank was here." - The SKU

[blunthead]

Henny Youngman vol 3...

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

[fljoe0]

Woody Allen from the movie Manhattan after Diane Keaton gets in the cab with him

"Your so beautiful, I can hardly keep my eyes on the meter"

[blunthead]

Henny Youngman vol 4...

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

[Petrollika]

http://chiangsta.tumblr.com/http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgmx9p4dPF1qbr71oo1_500.png

[Boog]

Best comeback for a heckler:

"Pick a window, you're leaving"

[blunthead]

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." --Ron Atkinson

"Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is." --Ron Fairley, Giants broadcaster

"The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation." --Ron Pickering

"Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running." --Ron Pickering

"He's passe. Nobody cares about Mickey anymore. There are whole batches of Mickeys we just can't give away. I think we should phase him out." --Roy Disney, Walt Disney's brother, 1937

"Elephants Please Stay In Your Car." --Safari park sign

"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man." --Samuel Goldwyn

"Man Breaks Leg In Fall Off Bride." --St. Louis Disptach Headline (should have read "bridge.")

"A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on." --Samuel Goldwyn

"Ladies are requested not to have children at the bar." --Sign in a Norwegian cocktail lounge

[Haunted]

Heaven isn't based on merit. If it was, your dog would get in and you wouldn't.

Mark Twain

[blunthead]

Erma Bombeck vol 1...

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.

[cat in a bag]

Erma Bombeck vol 1...

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[jacobtlong]

Some Family Guy quotes... :biggrin2:

"You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert." - Peter Griffin

"I've got an idea--an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I'm talking about." - Peter Griffin

"Because you touch yourself at night" - Museum tour guide to a child Peter Griffin after asking why the dinosaurs died

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can’t swim!
Peter: Oh, he’s not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he’s a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn’t mean he can’t hear. Kick Joe, kick!

Chris: Dad, what’s the blow-hole for?
Peter: I’ll tell you what it’s not for, son. And when I do, you’ll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphabits. It says, ‘Oooooo.’
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

[Shauna]

"My feeling is that labels are for canned food . . . I am what I am -- and I know what I am." - Michael Stipe

"Start at the beginning, and when you get to the end--stop." - The Mad Hatter, Alice in Wonderland

"In a true marriage relation the independence of the husband and the wife is equal, their dependence mutual, and their obligations reciprocal." - Lucretia Mott

[blunthead]

Erma Bombeck vol 2...

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and gives me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years."

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

[Haunted]

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
~ Albert Einstein

[jacobtlong]

John McKay was the first coach for the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers. John was known for his snappy one-liners and for coaching the first team to ever lose 26 straight games in the NFL. Here are a few of his quotes:

1 - In response to a question about his team's execution - "I'm all in favour of it."
2 - On an interception thrown by Steve DeBerg in 1984 that cost the Bucs a game against the Giants - "It was thrown to nobody. Well, it was thrown to somebody, Harry Carson. But he happened to be playing for the New York Giants at the time. It would have been a good pass if Harry had been playing for us."
3 - After a particularly heavy loss - "The bus leaves in an hour - anyone who needs a shower, take one."
4 - On losing a key game - "I told our players that there were 700 million Chinese people in the world who didn't even know the game was played. The next week, I got five letters from China asking "What happened?"
5 - After the Bucs broke their 26-game losing streak - "Three or four plane crashes and we're in the playoffs."
6 - On recruiting his son John to play for USC and then the Bucs - "I had an advantage - I slept with his mother."
7 - On the prospect of a late-season trip to Green Bay - "Going there is like winning the 98th prize in a beauty contest with only 97 prizes."
8 - On hearing how Buc kicker Pete Rajecki was nervous about McKay watching him in the 1976 pre-season - "That's unfortuntate as I plan on attending all the games."
9 - At a post-game press conference in 1976 "You guys don't know the difference between a football and a bunch of bananas."
10 - The following week after a media member has dropped off a case of bananas at his door - "You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedez-Benz."

[Haunted]

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
~ Plato

[fljoe0]

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

[kingricefan]

"Because you touch yourself at night" - Museum tour guide to a child Peter Griffin after asking why the dinosaurs died
Thanks for the first gut-buster of my day!!!!:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[CorbinKale]

This quote tempers my feelings towards Julian's wiki leaks. He mean't to hurt the US, but he may have helped save us. He has revealed our liberty's most dangerous enemy, the corrupt government destroying us from within.

"It is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth -- and listen to the song of that syren, till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those, who having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it might cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it."

--Patrick Henry, speech in the Virginia Convention, 1775

[blunthead]

"After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board." --sign in a British office.

"MIDNIGHT BOWLING SATURDAY AT 9 P.M." --sign outside bowling alley in Lakewood, CO

"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." --sign in Men's clothing store

"This Is The Gate Of Heaven, Enter Ye All By This Door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.) --sign on church door

"We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.)" --sign on door of repair shop

"I consider Madonna a friend, and she sure knows how to work the publicity machine. Of course, I don't have breasts. If I did have, I'd be in the number one spot over Madonna." --Spike Lee, Director

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?" --Stuart Hall, Radio 5 live

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." --Stuart Pearce

"The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush." --Sylvestor Stallone, Actor

"I favor access to discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation." --Ted Kennedy, US Senator

[Haunted]

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.



Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.



If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.


'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'

[kellykid]

You swim in confidence, you drown in negativity.

[blunthead]

"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." --Ted Lowe

"I would say that anything that is indecent and violent in TV is a crime against humanity and they should shoot the head man responsible." --Ted Turner, Media Mogul

"If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven't sold them." --Ted Turner, Media Mogul, on selling off his money losing properties

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." --Terry Venables

Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
Defendant: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think." --Testimony from court records

"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck" --Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on the shortage of city parking spaces

"He was a man of great statue" --Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on former mayor John Collins

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Now, the only thing that remains unresolved is the resolution of the problem." --Thomas Wells, Ontario legislature minister

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." --Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins

[kellykid]

"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life."
~ Author Unknown

"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. "
~Peter De Vries

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
-- Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there's a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
-- Erma Bombeck

[fljoe0]

''I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change.''—Dan Quayle

''Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.''—former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, 2003

''Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?''—George W. Bush, Jan. 11, 2000

''Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya.''—Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008

''One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.''—Dan Quayle

[blunthead]

"Did people build this, or did Indians?" --Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park

"And Mansell comes into the pits, he's quite literally sweating his eyeballs out." --UK Sports coverage on TV

"We didn't lose, we weren't beaten, we just came in second." --U.S. commentators, after Canadian Donavon Bailey won the 100 metre gold medal at the 1996 Olympics

"I just don't think America wants a female host. It's like men don't walk around in skirts in this country. Why change a good thing?" --Vanna White

"I don't know all the certain words to word it." --Vanilla Ice, Rap Star, on why he hired a ghostwriter for his autobiography

"They are not jackbooted Nazi thugs. They are merely German policemen in spiffy uniforms here to help us." --Vichy government (1941 - 1945)

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." --Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player

"You can't just let nature run wild." --Wally Hickel, former Alaska governor

"Do Not Place Hand In Fan While Fan Is Running." --Warning label on central air conditioning unit

"My lord, we find the man who stole the mare not guilty." --Welsh Jury Verdict

[Becks19]

Discipline does not mean suppression and control, nor is it adjustment to a pattern or ideology. It means a mind that sees 'what is' and learns from 'what was'.
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
- Robert M. Pirsig

We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.
- Grace Williams

If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

Power in America today is control of the means of communication.
- Theodore White

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a fish.
- Ovid

One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is a vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.
- Carl Jung

A cup that is already full cannot have more added to it. In order to receive the further good to which we are entitled, we must give of that which we have.
- Margaret Becker

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are.
- Palmer Sondreal

The most original thing a writer can do is write like himself. It is also his most difficult task.
- Robertson Davies

[fljoe0]

Muhammad Ali commenting on his promoter Don King. Don King had done some time in prison earlier in his life and Don King had some pretty wild hair that stood straight up.

"His body got 10 years but his head got the electric chair"

[blunthead]

Muhammad Ali commenting on his promoter Don King. Don King had done some time in prison earlier in his life and Don King had some pretty wild hair that stood straight up.

"His body got 10 years but his head got the electric chair"

:laugh::laugh::laugh:


"Well, that was a cliff-dweller." --Wes Westrum, Baseball coach, about a close game

"We'd like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles." --Wesley Bolin, Governor

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." --Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"It was not my class of people. There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor." --Zsa Zsa Gabor, on the jury used for her assault trial

[Haunted]

2011-03-30 06:13:20-04

Books are the bees which carry the quickening pollen from one to another mind.
~ James Russell Lowell

[Haunted]

"Fear only two --- the Creator and he who has no fear of Him."

--- Chassidic saying

[blunthead]

Peter DeVries vol 1...

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy.

Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.

I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine o'clock every morning.

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

[Haunted]

"I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library." -

JORGE LUIS BORGES

[blunthead]

Peter DeVries vol 2...

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.

The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.

[Haunted]

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
~ Albert Einstein

[blunthead]

...(Plants on the Disc, while including the categories known commonly as annuals, which were sown this year to come up later this year, biennials, sown this year to grow next year, and perennials, sown this year to grow until further notice, also included a few rare re-annuals which, because of an unusual four-dimensional twist in their genes, could be planted this year to come up last year. The vul nut vine was partiucularly exceptional in that it could flourish as many as eight years prior to its seed actually being sown. Vul nut wine was reputed to give certain drinkers an insight into the future which was, from the nut's point of view, the past. Strange but true.) --The CoLOR OF MAGIC, Terry Pratchett

[LateSunset]

"Searchers after horror haunt strange, far places" - H. P. Lovecraft

[blunthead]

Peter DeVries vol 3...

We must love one another, yes, yes, that's all true enough, but nothing says we have to like each other.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.

Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive? The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.

[am78]

I actually keep notebooks of favorite quotes. Unfortunately all my notebooks are in storage.
I do remember a few :

"It was only morning, but the town was already up and sinning." from a Louis Lamour book

"It wasn't the castle of a captive princess, but a dead a princes." Ghost Story by Peter Straub.

"We're reaching for death at the end of a candlestick. We're tryiing for something thats already found us." from a poem by Jim Morrison.

There is a quote by Marilyn Monroe I like. I don't remember exactly how it goes though, but I'll try to write it correct:
"People see what they want when they look at me. I don't fool anyone; I let them fool themselves. " Its a great quote and I wish I had the exact words before me.

[Haunted]

A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes.
~ Mahatma Gandhi

[omm poppa mow mow]

In the absence of real power blood seemed the only alternative.

Though he could walk away, and had to walk away, he could not walk away with impunity. He could never be a mordantly amused or merely interested observer of the beast.

--Thomas Williams, The Hair of Harold Roux

[blunthead]

Terry Pratchett vol 1...

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.

Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

[blunthead]

Terry Pratchett vol 2...

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely ignored.

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease, and burnt crunchy bits.

[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

Revolutions always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.

[Becks19]

One could get a first-class education from a shelf of books five feet long.
- Charles William Eliot

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion.
- Simone de Beauvoir

Nothing is more limiting than a closed circle of acquaintanceship where every avenue of conversation has been explored and social exchanges are fixed in a known routine.
- A. J. Cronin

Let your boat of life be light, packed only with what you need-a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends worth the name, someone to love and to love you, a cat, a dog, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink, for thirst is a dangerous thing.
- Jerome K. Jerome

[omm poppa mow mow]

ABBA, Dancing Queen:

"Oh! Yeah! Dig in The Dancing Queen, Seventeen!......Oh! Yeah!"

[omm poppa mow mow]

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

--Marilyn Monroe

[am78]

"People see what they want when they look at me. I don't fool anyone; I let them fool themselves. " Its a great quote and I wish I had the exact words before me.


Here the Marilyn Monroe quote I included in an earlier post. These are her exact words:
"I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character gor me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't."

I think the quote is true of everyone.




"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

--Marilyn Monroe

She had so many good quotes. I don't think people really realize how smart she was (she reportedly had an iq of 160).

[blunthead]

Terry Pratchett vol 3...

Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

When the least they could do to you was everything, then the most they could do to you suddenly held no terror.

Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.

Famous I don't know about. It's hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, 'Thanks, that was great, here's some money, same time tomorrow, okay?'

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?". Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".

[amanda1812]

Doing nothing isn't as easy as it looks, you never know when you've finished.

Actor Leslie Nielson (RIP)

[blunthead]

Stephen King vol 1...

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.

Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.

If you don't have the time to read, you don't have the time or the tools to write.

You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair--the sense that you can never completely put on the page what’s in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take down names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly. Let me say it again: you must not come lightly to the blank page.

The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window.

Obsession is dangerous. It's like a knife in the mind. In some cases... the knife can turn savagely upon the person wielding it... You use the knife carefully, because you know it doesn't care who it cuts.

Do any of us, except in our dreams, truly expect to be reunited with our hearts' deepest loves, even when they leave us only for minutes, and on the most mundane of errands? No, not at all. Each time they go from our sight we in our secret hearts count them as dead. Having been given so much, we reason, how could we not be brought as low as Lucifer for the staggering presumption of our love?

I think that we're all mentally ill; those of us outside the asylums only hide it a little better--and maybe not all that much better, after all.

You cannot condemn a man for what may only be a figment of your own imagination.

[blunthead]

Stephen King vol 2...

I have to remind myself that some birds weren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knew it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But your world is just that much colder and emptier when they're gone. I don't know... maybe I just miss my friend.

[Becks19]

The day you write to please everyone you no longer are in journalism. You are in show business.
- Frank Miller

Neither is a dictionary a bad book to read. There is no cant in it, no excess of explanation, and it is full of suggestions, the raw material of possible poems and histories.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am a part of all I have read.
- John Kieran

He who walks in the middle of the road gets hit from both sides.
- George P. Shultz

Unity, not uniformity, must be our aim. We attain unity only through variety. Differences must be integrated, not annihilated, not absorbed.
- Mary Parker Follett

Insanity in individuals is rare - but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs, it is the rule.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

[blunthead]

Terry Pratchett

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

[Haunted]

"Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action."

--- Benjamin Disraeli

[amanda1812]

You show me a lady in a green hat and I'll show you a bag of marbles :dunno:

.... the batty old dear who used to live down the street from me!

[blunthead]

Anonymous vol1...

A closed mind is a good thing to lose.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.

A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

A groundless rumor often covers a lot of ground.

A guilty conscience needs no accuser.

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.

A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.

[jacobtlong]

"You got new legs, Lieutenant Dan." - Forrest Gump

"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it." - Bubba Blue, Forrest Gump's buddy

"...And now for something completely different." - Monty Python

[omm poppa mow mow]

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” from the good doctor.


and too, if you carry a big bat, they won't mind at all. :)

[blunthead]

Anonymous vol 2...

A man is known by the company he avoids.

Always imitate the behavior of the winners when you lose.

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

Be alert to give service. What counts a great deal in life is what we do for others.

Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day.

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. Plan more than you can do, then do it.

By courage I repel adversity.

Concern should drive us into action and not into depression.

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

[Becks19]

You can always get the truth from an American statesman after he has turned seventy, or given up all hope of the Presidency.
- Wendell Phillips

In Chinese, the word for crisis is weiji, composed of the character wei, which means danger, and ji, which means opportunity.
- Jan Wong

A woman must be a genius to create a good husband.
- Honore de Balzac

I am never long, even in the society of her I love, without yearning for the company of my lamp and my library.
- Lord Byron

The U.S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. Your have to catch up with it yourself.
- Benjamin Franklin

Literature is a power to be possessed, not a body of objects to be studied.
- Anonymous

Egotism: the art of seeing in yourself what others cannot see.
- George Higgins

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.
- George Bernard Shaw

One man's word is no man's word; we should quietly hear both sides.
- Goethe

[blunthead]

Anonymous vol 3...

Don't let yourself forget what it's like to be sixteen.

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

God helps those who help themselves.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

If for a tranquil mind you seek,
These things observe with care:
Of whom you speak, to whom you speak,
And how, and when and where.

If you enjoy the fruit, pluck not the flower.

If you hear that everybody is buying a certain stock, ask who is selling.

If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

It is light grief that can take counsel.

[fljoe0]

How about some Ozzy Osbourne quotes?

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.

Viagra`s a great sleeping drug. I take Viagra, and Sharon goes right to sleep.

Could be worse . . . I could be Sting.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that`s OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

One of my greatest regrets is that I urinated on the Alamo.

She said, 'I understand you're quite the wild one'. I just went, 'Heh, heh, heh'.
On meeting Queen of England at Queen's Golden Jubilee Concert, Buckingham Palace, June 2002

[Haunted]

The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.
~ Homer

[blunthead]

Anonymous vol 4...

Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

May no portent of evil be attached to the words I say.

No man deserves punishment for his thoughts.

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.

The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.

There are no thanks for a kindness which has been delayed.

Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.

Tis the advisor who suffers from bad advice.

To harken to evil conversation is the road to wickedness. (Pravis Assuescere Sermonibus Est Via Ad Rem Ipsam)

[fljoe0]

Tom Robbins quotes:

There are two kinds of people in this world : those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard. (Jitterbug Perfume)

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

[jacobtlong]

Time for some silly quotes. Some Monty Python, perhaps?

"Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who." - King of Swamp Castle

"What makes you think she's a witch?" - Sir Bedevere
"Well, she turned me into a newt!" - Peasant
"A newt?" - Sir Bedevere
"[meekly after a long pause] ... I got better." - Peasant
"Burn her anyway!" - The crowd shouts

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" - Soldier with keen interest in birds

"Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping." - Hospital Administrator

"This is an ex-parrot." - Angry customer mad at being sold a dead parrot

[fljoe0]

Jacob's first one reminded me of the quote from Dr. Strangelove when George C Scott was fighting with someone and Peter Sellers says:

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAeqVGP-GPM

[Haunted]

History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.
John F. Kennedy

[blunthead]

Anonymous vol 5...

Unity in things necessary, liberty in things doubtful, charity in everything.

Whatever you undertake, act with prudence, and consider the consequences.

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.

He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.

God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.

To him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty.

[omm poppa mow mow]

http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1198641626p2/10356.jpg (http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/10356.Woody_Allen) "Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."
— Woody Allen (http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/10356.Woody_Allen)

[Sundrop]

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
~ Marilyn Monroe
(http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/82952.Marilyn_Monroe)

[Haunted]

"The central task of education is to implant a will and facility for learning; it should produce not learned but learning people.
The truly human society is a learning society, where grandparents, parents, and children are students together."
-- Eric Hoffer
(1902-1983) American author, philosopher, awarded Presidential Medal of Honor

[Becks19]

Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose the one that will get you home earlier.
~anonymous~

I'm a salami writer. I try to write good salami, but salami is salami.
- Stephen King

The reason a writer writes a book is to forget a book and the reason a reader reads one is to remember it.
- Thomas Wolfe

It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor enough judgement to be silent.
- Jean de la Bruyere

The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

No medicine is more valuable, none more efficacious, none better suited to the cure of all our temporal ills than a friend to whom we may turn for consolation in time of trouble, and with whom we may share our happiness in time of joy.
- Saint Alfred of Rievaulx

Education is hanging around until you've caught on.
- Robert Frost

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts ... A mother has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
- Sophia Loren

A good book has no ending.
- R. D. Dimming

[omm poppa mow mow]

http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1198536666p2/3047.jpg (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodreads.com% 2Fauthor%2Fshow%2F3047.John_F_Kennedy) "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
— John F. Kennedy (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodreads.com% 2Fauthor%2Fquotes%2F3047.John_F_Kennedy)

[Becks19]

The most notable fact that culture imprints on women is the sense of our limits. The most important thing one woman can do for another is to illuminate and expand her sense of actual possibilities.
- Adrienne Rich

Why did God make man before he made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
- Anonymous

God is really another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style. He just goes on trying other things.
- Pablo Picasso

Earth laughs in flowers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
- Thomas Paine

Faith is not being sure where you're going but going anyway.
- Fredrick Buechner

A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch on a railroad track ... an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity.
- Henry Ward Beecher

So long as we love we serve; so long as we are loved by others, I would almost say that we are indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

A wise woman will always let her husband have her way.
- Richard Brinsley Sheridan

We have two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice, and the other which we practice but seldom preach.
- Bertrand Russell

It is easier to talk than to hold one's tongue.
- Greek proverb

Come in the evening, come in the morning, Come when expected, come without warning; Thousands of welcomes you'll find here before you, And the oftener you come, the more we'll adore you.
- Irish Rhyme

[blunthead]

Richard Bach
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

You teach best what you most need to learn.
__________________
Ray Bradbury
We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.

I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together.
__________________
Will Rogers
A fool and his money are soon elected.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

[fljoe0]

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.

awesome

[omm poppa mow mow]

http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1189120061p2/4.jpg (http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4.Douglas_Adams) "If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."
— Douglas Adams (http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4.Douglas_Adams) (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3078186))

[blunthead]

Will Rogers cont...

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

I bet after seeing us George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this: No nation is allowed to enter a war 'til they have paid for the last one.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

[Patricia A]

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
-- Fisher

[boogerb53]

"I'm a donkey on the edge..." Donkey from Shreck.

[omm poppa mow mow]

"I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one. . . . Humans are caught—in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too—in a net of good and evil. . . . There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well—or ill?"
— John Steinbeck (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodreads.com% 2Fauthor%2Fquotes%2F585.John_Steinbeck) (East of Eden (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodreads.com% 2Fwork%2Fquotes%2F2574991)) http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1182118389p2/585.jpg (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodreads.com% 2Fauthor%2Fshow%2F585.John_Steinbeck)

[Moderator]

"I'm a donkey on the edge..." Donkey from Shreck.

That line always cracks me up along with "Those are not my drugs." :rofl:

[blunthead]

The Incredibles

No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes! --Mr Incredible

Your boy's suit I designed to withstand enormous friction without heating up or wearing out, a useful feature. Your daughter's suit was tricky, but I finally created a sturdy material that can disappear completely as she does. Your suit can stretch as far as you can without injuring yourself, and still retain its shape. Virtually indestructible, yet it breathes like Egyptian cotton. --Edna

Is this on? I mean... can break through walls, I just can't... can't get this on... --Mr Incredible

Mom and Dad's lives could be in jeopardy, or worse - their marriage. --Violet

Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... S-Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's alright with me. I'm good... I'm good. --Lucius

[to Buddy] You're not affiliated with me! --Mr Incredible

That was totally wicked! --Boy on Tricycle

[Becks19]

My words fly up, my thoughts remain below; Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
- William Shakespeare

My tastes are aristocratic; my actions democratic.
- Victor Hugo

[cat in a bag]

You are a TOY!!! --- Woody to Buzz

[blunthead]

Finding Nemo

[reciting] I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food. --Bruce

You, Mini-Man, takin' on the jellies. You've got serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome. --Crush

No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion. --Marlin

[Whispering] He touched the butt. --Tad

Hey. You guys made me ink. --Pearl

There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber... --Marlin

For a clown fish, he's not that funny. --Bruce

[shaking Nemo's bag] WHY... ARE... YOU... SLEEPING? --Darla

Intervention! --Chum, Anchor

[Large explosion occurs underwater with a small bubble reaching the surface, popping next to Pelican 1. Pelican 2 looks at him, disgusted] Nice. [Flies away]

[boogerb53]

That line always cracks me up along with "Those are not my drugs." :rofl:

I can quote every line from the first Shreck.

The one quote that cracks my family up is from Cheech and Chong...." Daves not here!"

[JohnDalglish]

The one quote that cracks my family up is from Cheech and Chong...." Daves not here!"

Hi,

'Is Dave there?' LOL

Long days and pleasant nights

[Becks19]

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice.
- Benedict Spinoza

[Srbo]

"Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Jesus Christ

[Haunted]

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
~ Leo Buscaglia

[blunthead]

What disease did cured ham have?

Why is it people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you in a movie but on TV?

Why do people go to the top of skyscrapers to put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

If Jimmy cracks corn and you don't care, why are you singing a song about him?

Can a hearse with a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do you "put your two cents in" when it's "a penny for your thoughts"? Where's the profit going?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

[Becks19]

The dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book.
- Walt Whitman

Language is not an abstract construction of the learned, or of dictionary-makers, but is something arising out of the work, needs, ties, joys, affections, tastes, of long generations of humanity, and has its bases broad and low, close to the ground.
- Walt Whitman

No tears and the writer, no tears and the reader.
- Robert Frost

Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things.
- Robert Frost

[boogerb53]

"What fresh Hell is this??" Dorthy Parker.

[blunthead]

Fred Allen vol 1...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

[Becks19]

My early and invincible love of reading, I would not exchange for the treasures of India.
- Edward Gibbon

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Sanity is very rare; every man almost, and every woman, has a dash of madness.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

[DeathStalker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgUOK49Z9HQ&feature=player_embedded

[frisbee]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJlL2vfXnJg

This is just too funny.

[Haunted]

The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create.
~ Leonard I. Sweet

[DeathStalker]

The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create.
~ Leonard I. Sweet
Even when we do nothing, we do everything.

[blunthead]

Fred Allen vol 2...

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

[Haunted]

All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake
in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,
for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.
~ T.E. Lawrence

[blunthead]

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. --Bob Dylan

[Anni M]

"What does this mean????"


...The Double Rainbow Guy

[Haunted]

Don't grumble that roses have thorns, be thankful that thorns have roses
~ Unknown

[Tery]

A few from my favorite lyricist:

To you-is it movement or is it action?
It is contact or just reaction?
And you-revolution or just resistance?
Is it living, or just existence?
Yeah, you-it takes a little more persistence
To get up and go the distance...

Some world-views are spacious and some are merely spaced.

You can do a lot in a lifetime
If you don't burn out too fast
You can make the most of the distance
First you need endurance -
First you've got to last.

A spirit with a vision is a dream with a mission...

Pleasure leaves a fingerprint as surely as mortal pain

If love remains
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost.

I'm old enough not to care too much
About what you think of me
But I'm young enough to remember the future
And the way things ought to be

If the future's looking dark
We're the ones who have to shine
If there's no one in control
We're the ones who draw the line
Though we live in trying times -
We're the ones who have to try
Though we know that time has wings -
We're the ones who have to fly

[EXISTESS]

http://www.top-quotes-sayings.com/templates/quotes/images/open_coma.gif Proportion is almost impossible to human beings. There is no one who does not exaggerate. http://www.top-quotes-sayings.com/templates/quotes/images/close_coma.gif

Ralph Waldo Emerson

:devil:

[blunthead]

Fred Allen vol 3...

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

[Patricia A]

I don't know who first said this but I read it in "The Audacity of Hope" by Barack Obama and it inspired me.

The things that bind us together are greater than the things that tear us apart.

[blunthead]

Dick Cavett

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

I'm not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.

Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it's painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it's extremely painful.

[Haunted]

The first duty of love is to listen.
~ Paul Tillich

[Hicks]

"Terrorism is the weapon of the poor and the oppressed." - Jean Paul Sartre.

[blunthead]

Salvador Dali vol 1...

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

Democratic societies are unfit for the publication of such thunderous revelations as I am in the habit of making.

Don't bother about being modern. Unfortunately it is the one thing that, whatever you do, you cannot avoid.

Drawing is the honesty of the art. There is no possibility of cheating. It is either good or bad.

Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure - that of being Salvador Dali.

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.

I do not paint a portrait to look like the subject, rather does the person grow to look like his portrait.

I don't do drugs. I am drugs.

I have Dalinian thought: the one thing the world will never have enough of is the outrageous.

I seated ugliness on my knee, and almost immediately grew tired of it.

[omm poppa mow mow]

http://quotationsbook.com/assets/images/lay/quote-open.jpg The budget should be balanced, the treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt, the mobs should be forced to work and not depend on government for subsistence. http://quotationsbook.com/assets/images/lay/quote-close.jpg


Quote from Marko Kickeroo while he was waiting in the drive-through at MacDonalds, smoking a cigarette, and the smoke nazis surrounded his vehicle, and took him down...they have it on tape, reason why the quote survived, though Marko did not. :(

[blunthead]

Salvador Dali vol 2...

In order to acquire a growing and lasting respect in society, it is a good thing, if you possess great talent, to give, early in your youth, a very hard kick to the right shin of the society that you love. After that, be a snob.

Instead of stubbornly attempting to use surrealism for purposes of subversion, it is necessary to try to make of surrealism something as solid, complete and classic as the works of museums.

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.

It is good taste, and good taste alone, that possesses the power to sterilize and is always the first handicap to any creative functioning.

Let my enemies devour each other.

Liking money like I like it, is nothing less than mysticism. Money is a glory.

Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them.

Painting is an infinitely minute part of my personality.

Progressive art can assist people to learn not only about the objective forces at work in the society in which they live, but also about the intensely social character of their interior lives. Ultimately, it can propel people toward social emancipation.

Surrealism is destructive, but it destroys only what it considers to be shackles limiting our vision.

[DeathStalker]

Salvador Dali vol 1...

I don't do drugs. I am drugs.


I thought Charlie Sheen said that.

[blunthead]

Charlie Sheen is that.

[am78]

"Until you loose your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was, or what freedom really is." quote by Magaret Mitchell, author of Gone With The Wind.

[Patricia A]

Gandhi said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

[exzel]

God is Dead - Nietzsche

Nietzsche is Dead - God

[dsurrett]

The second mouse gets the cheese.

The early worm gets eaten.

Be careful of the words you choose, even though they will probably be ignored.

[blunthead]

Salvador Dali vol 3...

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.

The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The secret of my influence has always been that it remained secret.

The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents.

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.

There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.

Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.

[Haunted]

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.
~ Dale Carnegie

[blunthead]

Salvador Dali vol 4...

Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die.

We are all hungry and thirsty for concrete images. Abstract art will have been good for one thing: to restore its exact virginity to figurative art.

What is a television apparatus to man, who has only to shut his eyes to see the most inaccessible regions of the seen and the never seen, who has only to imagine in order to pierce through walls and cause all the planetary Baghdads of his dreams to rise from the dust.

Gary Larson

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

On Career Day in high school, you don't walk around looking for the cartoon guy.

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

Eva Braun

I sat with him for three hours and we did not exchange a single word. At the end he handed me, as he had done before, an envelope with money in it. It would have been much nicer if he had enclosed a greeting or a loving word. I would have been so pleased if he had.

[MadamMack]

You can roll manure in powdered sugar, but that still don't make it a jelly doughnut.

Berta, Two and a Half Men.

[JohnDalglish]

You can roll manure in powdered sugar, but that still don't make it a jelly doughnut.

Berta, Two and a Half Men.

Hi,

I thought you were talking about Sarah Palin, Madam LOL

Long days and pleasant nights

[MelissaConstantReader]

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
-Will Rogers

[blunthead]

Jimi Hendrix vol 1...

All I'm writing is just what I feel, that's all. I just keep it almost naked. And probably the words are so bland.

Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel.

I have this one little saying, when things get too heavy just call me helium, the lightest known gas to man.

I wish they'd had electric guitars in cotton fields back in the good old days. A whole lot of things would've been straightened out.

I'm gonna put a curse on you and all your kids will be born completely naked.

I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.

I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes.

Imagination is the key to my lyrics. The rest is painted with a little science fiction.

If I'm free, it's because I'm always running.

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.

[Haunted]

Sometimes its better to put love into hugs than to put it into words.
~ Unknown

[Haunted]

Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

[blunthead]

Jimi Hendrix vol 2...

It all has to come from inside, though, I guess.

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music.

Music is a safe kind of high.

Music is my religion.

Music makes me high on stage, and that's the truth. It's like being almost addicted to music.

Rock is so much fun. That's what it's all about - filling up the chest cavities and empty kneecaps and elbows.

See, that's nothing but blues, that's all I'm singing about. It's today's blues.

Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded.

The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.

[Becks19]

Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition.
- Jacques Barzun

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

Morality is contraband in war.
- Mahatma Gandhi

[blunthead]

Jimi Hendrix vol 3...

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar.

To be with the others, you have to have your hair short and wear ties. So we're trying to make a third world happen, you know what I mean?

When I die, I want people to play my music, go wild and freak out and do anything they want to do.

When I die, just keep playing the records.

You don't have to be singing about love all the time in order to give love to the people. You don't have to keep flashing those words all the time.

You have to give people something to dream on.

You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven.

[Haunted]

Never fear shadows.... that always means there is a light shining somewhere.
~ Jonathan Santos

[DeathStalker]

Never fear shadows.... that always means there is a light shining somewhere.
~ Jonathan Santos
Not arguing here, your quote brought some of these to mind...

"...there can be no good without evil, no love without hate, no heaven without hell, no light without darkness." Legend

"What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal!" The Lord of Darkness (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.imdb.com%2Fnam e%2Fnm0000347%2F) Legend

And on a slightly different note -

"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children." Eric Draven (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.imdb.com%2Fnam e%2Fnm0000488%2F) The Crow

[blunthead]

Bob Dylan vol 1...

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.

A lot of people can't stand touring but to me it's like breathing. I do it because I'm driven to do it.

A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.

A mistake is to commit a misunderstanding.

A poem is a naked person... Some people say that I am a poet.

A song is anything that can walk by itself.

All I can do is be me, whoever that is.

All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die.

At times in my life the only place I have been happy is when I am on stage.

Basically you have to suppress your own ambitions in order to be who you need to be.

[Haunted]

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Walter Winchell

[Haunted]

"When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much."

~ Walter Lippmann

[blunthead]

Bob Dylan vol 2...

Being on tour is like being in limbo. It's like going from nowhere to nowhere.

But even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked.

Chaos is a friend of mine.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

He not busy being born is busy dying.

I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me.

I am against nature. I don't dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay.

I consider myself a poet first and a musician second. I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet.

I define nothing. Not beauty, not patriotism. I take each thing as it is, without prior rules about what it should be.

I don't think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future. They are both just illusions that can manipulate you into thinking there's some kind of change.

[Becks19]

Dictionaries are like watches. The worst is better than none at all and even the best cannot be expected to run quite true.
- Samuel Johnson

[Haunted]

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
~ Bertrand Russell

[blunthead]

Bob Dylan vol 3...

If I wasn't Bob Dylan, I'd probably think that Bob Dylan has a lot of answers myself.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.

People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.

People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around - the music and the ideas.

Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.

When you cease to exist, then who will you blame?

There is nothing so stable as change.

This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway.

To live outside the law, you must be honest.

[Haunted]

Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.
~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

[Becks19]

A woman is like a tea bag: you never know her strength until you drop her in hot water.
- Nancy Reagan

Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
- Robert Orben

The artist has a special task and duty; the task of reminding men of their humanity and the promise of their creativity.
- Lewis Mumford

Giving kids clothes and food is one thing, but it's much more important to teach them that other people besides themselves are important and that the best thing they can do with their lives is to use them in the service of other people.
- Dolores Huerta

An Arabian proverb says there are four sorts of men: He who knows not and knows not he knows not: he is a fool-shun him. He who knows not and knows he knows not: he is simple-teach him. He who knows and knows not he knows: he is asleep-wake him. He who knows and knows he knows: he is wise-follow him.
- Lady Isabel Burton

[blunthead]

Dr. Seuss quotes vol 1...

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.

A person's a person, no matter how small.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

[Haunted]

All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move.
~ Arabian Proverb

[Becks19]

Nothing in the world can take place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful individuals with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
- Calvin Coolidge

The reason a writer writes a book is to forget a book and the reason a reader reads one is to remember it.
- Thomas Wolfe

The last, if not the greatest, of the human freedoms: to choose their own attitude in any given circumstance.
- Bruno Bettelheim

Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
- Jacques Delille

[blunthead]

Dr. Seuss vol 2...

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
Nothing is going to get better. It's not.

Being crazy isn't enough.

Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!

In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!

If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too.

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

How did it get so late so soon?

When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles
and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...
...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle
bottle paddle battle.

Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.

[Becks19]

There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.
- President William J. Clinton

[There Goes Bill]

I COME IN THE NAME OF Oy, The brave!

[DeathStalker]

Dr. Seuss vol 2...

Being crazy isn't enough.
Then I have lost. :down:

[Haunted]

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
~ Diogenes

[Haunted]

Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.
~ Rabindranath Tagore

[blunthead]

Dr Seuss vol 3...

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)...

All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!

You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.

I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.

They say I'm old-fashioned, and live in the past, but sometimes I think progress progresses too fast!

I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. I speak for the trees for the trees have no tongues.

ASAP. Whatever that means. It must mean, 'Act swiftly awesome pacyderm!

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.

[Tery]

Adventures suck while you're having them. ~ NEP

[Srbo]

"IN THE END, WE WILL NOT REMEMBER THE WORDS OF OUR ENEMIES - BUT THE SILENCE OF OUR FRIENDS."

DR MARTIN LUTHER KING JR

[Haunted]

Good luck is often with the man who doesn't include it in his plans.
~ Unknown

[exzel]

"Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?"

[blunthead]

Dr Seuss vol 4...

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

Think and wonder, wonder and think.

There's no limit to how much you'll know, depending how far beyond zebra you go.

Why fit in when you were born to stand out?

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

The storm starts, when the drops start dropping
When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping.

Things may happen and often do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

Words and pictures are yin and yang. Married, they produce a progeny more interesting than either parent.

How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?

Be grateful you’re not in the forest in France
Where the average young person just hasn’t a chance
To escape from the perilous pants eating plants
But your pants are safe, you’re a fortunate guy
You ought to be shouting how lucky am I.

[Haunted]

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
~ Thomas Jefferson

[blunthead]

George Washington Carver vol 1...

Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others, and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.

I wanted to know the name of every stone and flower and insect and bird and beast. I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life - but there was no one to tell me.

If you love it enough, anything will talk with you.

Learn to do common things uncommonly well; we must always keep in mind that anything that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.

No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving something behind.

Nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness of the woods before sunrise.

[jacobtlong]

Cthulhu quotes (and their rough translations) Vol. 1 :alien:

"Ewglu phln'slghn hngl'wi. Krha'gr br'clnuilha wgah'rly'ueh v'glua n'gl."
"Chicks dig the tentacles. That's why I keep 'em where they can see 'em."

"Plg'lugn hwahghi shoggoth'hu gnu'ingldyah, hfir'ln plg'luinh ph'thahnl."
"You can lead a shoggoth to water, but you can't make him de-solidify."

"Yuggoth'hg ng'hlui ph'thaghua k'lorhn h'gnohma Ghoora. Plg'n n'hgua Fomalhaut - d'rgu krha'grua ph'kalgn."
"Yuggoth is one of the nicer planets in the Ghooric Zone. You should see Fomalhaut - now that's a sh**hole."

"Yn'gnl sh'g: D'phnegul k'tha dugh, ughl'nigu'ra ulfn'ahk y'ngwu Maghoor-N'kyah? F'nakhr ugh'r'yheh liung'ngu a'Phtak'lu, hfir'knia y'nu h'lyeahugha Oprah rg'ynh."
"Many ask: When will I rise again, to lay waste to all the pitiful creatures of Earth? I had been thinking about next Tuesday, but I'm booked on Oprah that day."

"Ewgl'rlua ugh'r'hkanh r'ylu Flying Spaghetti Monster k'rkh y'lfrngh ph'tangh. Ugh'r'yugha f'nigughr Ithaqua, k'lryea g'nugha hngl'wi'ng, hfir'gnua shluggr'ya ungh'lyeh k'reh y'gr ftenhg."
"People keep talking about this Flying Spaghetti Monster as if I'm supposed to know who it is. I thought it might be Ithaqua, just being a di**head, but it turned out to just be something they made up."

"Unglnu'nph k'lyeh r'wnglua hngilu'phth'n, l'yi? Rg'hlia k'gr. F'nath rg'hlia gr'rnua."
"I consume human soul-energy for a living, okay? It's my job. Just shut up and let me do my job."

[JohnDalglish]

Cthulhu quotes (and their rough translations) Vol. 1 :alien:

"Ewglu phln'slghn hngl'wi. Krha'gr br'clnuilha wgah'rly'ueh v'glua n'gl."
"Chicks dig the tentacles. That's why I keep 'em where they can see 'em."

"Plg'lugn hwahghi shoggoth'hu gnu'ingldyah, hfir'ln plg'luinh ph'thahnl."
"You can lead a shoggoth to water, but you can't make him de-solidify."

"Yuggoth'hg ng'hlui ph'thaghua k'lorhn h'gnohma Ghoora. Plg'n n'hgua Fomalhaut - d'rgu krha'grua ph'kalgn."
"Yuggoth is one of the nicer planets in the Ghooric Zone. You should see Fomalhaut - now that's a sh**hole."

"Yn'gnl sh'g: D'phnegul k'tha dugh, ughl'nigu'ra ulfn'ahk y'ngwu Maghoor-N'kyah? F'nakhr ugh'r'yheh liung'ngu a'Phtak'lu, hfir'knia y'nu h'lyeahugha Oprah rg'ynh."
"Many ask: When will I rise again, to lay waste to all the pitiful creatures of Earth? I had been thinking about next Tuesday, but I'm booked on Oprah that day."

"Ewgl'rlua ugh'r'hkanh r'ylu Flying Spaghetti Monster k'rkh y'lfrngh ph'tangh. Ugh'r'yugha f'nigughr Ithaqua, k'lryea g'nugha hngl'wi'ng, hfir'gnua shluggr'ya ungh'lyeh k'reh y'gr ftenhg."
"People keep talking about this Flying Spaghetti Monster as if I'm supposed to know who it is. I thought it might be Ithaqua, just being a di**head, but it turned out to just be something they made up."

"Unglnu'nph k'lyeh r'wnglua hngilu'phth'n, l'yi? Rg'hlia k'gr. F'nath rg'hlia gr'rnua."
"I consume human soul-energy for a living, okay? It's my job. Just shut up and let me do my job."

Hi,

Now say that out loud!

Long days and pleasant nights

[Becks19]

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
- Mark Twain

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
- Mark Twain

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
- Mark Twain

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
- Mark Twain

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain

[Haunted]

There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

[blunthead]

George Washington Carver vol 2...

Our creator is the same and never changes despite the names given Him by people here and in all parts of the world. Even if we gave Him no name at all, He would still be there, within us, waiting to give us good on this earth.

Reading about nature is fine, but if a person walks in the woods and listens carefully, he can learn more than what is in books, for they speak with the voice of God.

Since new developments are the products of a creative mind, we must therefore stimulate and encourage that type of mind in every way possible.

There is no short cut to achievement. Life requires thorough preparation - veneer isn't worth anything.

When our thoughts - which bring actions - are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white, we are in a living hell. That is as real as hell will ever be.

When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Where there is no vision, there is no hope.

[frisbee]

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

[Becks19]

The real secret of how to use time is to pack it as you would a portmanteau, filling up the small spaces with small things.
- Sir Henry Haddow

Doing easily what others find is difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius.
- Henri Frederic Amiel

[frisbee]

I bought powdered water but I didn't know what to add. - Steven Wright

[Petrollika]

Have a sense of humor about life. - Brittany Murphy

[Haunted]

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.
~ Gustave Flaubert

[blunthead]

David Bowie vol 1...

But I've got to think of myself as the luckiest guy. Robert Johnson only had one album's worth of work as his legacy. That's all that life allowed him.

Frankly, I mean, sometimes the interpretations I've seen on some of the songs that I've written are a lot more interesting than the input that I put in.

Heathenism is a state of mind. You can take it that I'm referring to one who does not see his world. He has no mental light. He destroys almost unwittingly. He cannot feel any Gods presence in his life. He is the 21st century man.

I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

I believe that I often bring out the best in somebody's talents.

I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring.

I felt I really wanted to back off from music completely and just work within the visual arts in some way. I started painting quite passionately at that time.

I had to resign myself, many years ago, that I'm not too articulate when it comes to explaining how I feel about things. But my music does it for me, it really does.

I think it all comes back to being very selfish as an artist. I mean, I really do just write and record what interests me and I do approach the stage shows in much the same way.

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image.

[Haunted]

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
~ Gandhi

[JohnDalglish]

Heathenism is a state of mind. You can take it that I'm referring to one who does not see his world. He has no mental light. He destroys almost unwittingly. He cannot feel any Gods presence in his life. He is the 21st century man.

Hi,

'Young girl, they call them the Diamond Dogs'?

Long days and pleasant nights

[Born In Sin]

"You got red on you" Shawn of the Dead

[Becks19]

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
- Albert Einstein