Been in Boulder a lot lately, not in a good way...

[hipmamajen]

My mother in law works on the CU campus. Earlier this month, she collapsed at work, and was rushed to the hospital in a coma. Scary, scary, scary.

She'd had an aneurysm in her brain that ruptured, and at first they were saying that she would probably never regain consciousness, and that if she did it probably wasn't going to be a good thing. :down:

Fortunately, she did wake up, and she's more "with it" than anyone expected. She's still at terrible risk for something called vasospasms, which can follow these events at any time up to 21 days. With no warning, they the blood vessels in her brain can clamp down and essentially cause a stroke, which could permanently disable or kill her. So, they're keeping her in the ICU, but for now she'd be in there anyway since she's still having a lot of problems.

So, we've all gotten a crash course in brain physiology, aneurysms, and ICU lingo. For instance, MIL was on propofol, a sedative, the entire time she was on the ventilator, because it's awfully uncomfortable to have a machine blow your lungs up like balloons 14-20 times an hour. As you probably know, propofol is one of the medications implicated in Michael Jackson's death, so we've found that some medical folks jokingly call it, "Jackson Juice." That gave me a little giggle :)

Anyway, my husband and his brother, and the 2 daughter in laws all live in the Denver area, so we try to go up and spend time with her as much as possible. I'm the only one without a regular job, so I'm up there a lot of the days. I'm glad to be able to go. I don't know what people do in there without family, it's a pretty scary place, and having a brain injury doesn't help.

She doesn't remember anything since the event, so if she falls asleep or enough time passes, she will forget what happened to her, and that she can't get out of bed yet, and what all the tubes, etc are for. Mostly she worries about her dog. We have him at our house, but she doesn't remember that, so every time she thinks about it, she worries that he's home alone, hungry, scared and suffering. She can't talk right now because of the kind of tracheostomy, so she writes all these frightened and agitated notes about him. It's heartbreaking. So, it's good to be able to be there for her. I know the nurses will answer her questions, but they can't be in there full time to reassure her, they have other patients they have to take care of. So, we go and try to cover as much of each day as we can.

Anyway, long story short (too late) that's why I haven't been here. I do try to check in when I can, but most days I'm driving, visiting, driving, trying to catch up at home including the homeschooling, getting a little sleep, and starting over. I do think of you guys a lot, though! I'll have to re-read The Stand now that I'm up there most days of the week, especially with the H1N1 swooping in to kill us all (or do nothing, depending on who you listen to.)

Hugs all around. :love:

[Moderator]

Sending best wishes for a full recovery for your MIL. Don't forget to keep your batteries charged, too, by getting some down time for yourself. (((hipmamajen)))

[Spideyman]

Himama- many prayers and good wishes are being sent your way. I will send you a PM today. Have some suggestions with the short term memory( this is exactly what we dealt with for my neighbor across the road).

[JohnDalglish]

Hi,

All the best to you and yours, AWMMS!

(((((hipmamajen and family)))))

Long days and pleasant nights

[Ubasti]

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
(((hipmamajen)))

[Charms7]

That is very frightening and sad, hipmamajen. Many prayers offered for your mother-in-law's swift and complete recovery.

My grandmother had Alzheimer's disease the last twelve years of her life. She lived with my mom and dad then. Grandma couldn't remember from one minute to the next and asked the same question over and over. Dad would lose his patience with her and just leave the room. I tried to spend as much time reassuring her as possible. Mom went to the store a lot. It is tough going through that, for the victim as well as for family members. My grandmother was 64 when she had the stroke that robbed her of her short term memory.

May your mother-in-law never go through anything like that. I have known people who have suffered terrible illnesses (like a stroke) and fully recovered, too. So keep the faith.

Like Ms. Mod said, take good care of yourself. You're a wonderful daughter-in-law.

[rjt65]

G luck going forward and hope all is well soon Jen!

Positive vibes to Jen!

[Haunted]

Oh my goodness, in an instant things are turned around, arn't they? BUT, it sounds like your MIL is in good hands; she is very lucky.

Ms. Mod is right, you describe your life as back and forthing from there to there, trying to fill everyone's needs. You must take care of yourself too; can't have you collapsing. Why not work a schedule with the others so that everyone has some down time while making sure MIL is covered.

Also maybe someone could take a picture of her dog showing the date or something with one or all of you so that she can see it and reassure herself that he is being taken care of. You could tape it on the underside of her bed table where the mirror is located.

Many prayers.:love:

[Gallina]

Sending many prayers for you and the family Jen.

[Kim L.]

All best wishes, good thoughts and prayers for you and youir MIL.

(((((Jen)))))

(((((Jen's mother in law)))))

[rose key]

Prayers are going your way, hipmam, for you and your mom, and your family. AWHS the picture of you and her dog in your house with maybe a sign, or write on the frame of the picture "Dog is OK!" taped to a place where she can see it from her bed would be a great idea.

[hipmamajen]

Thank you, everyone!

I did bring a photo of her dog up, with my kids, to help her remember. I don't know that she "gets" it all the time, but she always likes to see it. I figure I'll bring up another one tomorrow when I go. I had a fever this weekend and had to stay away...

Life can change FAST! It was incredible how quickly priorities were rearranged.

One thing I can say that really helped is that she had all of her medical and financial emergency paperwork together. We were able to find it that night, and know exactly what her wishes were for her care. That alleviated a lot of stress, because we all knew she didn't want to be kept alive at any cost, but her paperwork specified exactly where she draws the lines and made our part of the process so much easier. We can take care of her without second guessing ourselves all the time.

If you don't have all of your paperwork in order, get it that way. Your kids/loved ones will appreciate it some day! I don't even have a will (isn't that awful, my plan so far has been "not to die") but we're getting that and the powers of attorney taken care of now.

Thanks again for all of the prayers, kind words and encouragement. You guys really are something else, you know that? Group hug! I'll be thinking of you, and I'll keep you updated.

[Dana Jean]

Oh kiddo. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. It's all so stressful. I just send vibes and prayers for good things. It is very scary stuff.

{{{hugs to your family}}}

[hipmamajen]

Still making the trek most days, but hopefully that will change soon. I'll still be making the trek, but they're talking about moving her to a rehab center soon, and we're hoping to get her closer to home. Yay! No word yet on how long she'll be in rehab, but after that the plan is for her to go home.

There have been two instances in the last week where it's been pretty obvious that Linda remembered something from the day before. That's been EXTREMELY exciting to see. Hopefully we'll just see more and more of that, as she gets better.

In the last week or so, they've started telling us that it may take a year for her to reach full recovery. That's a long time, but since the the beginning no one expected her to get anywhere near full recovery I'm pretty excited about the idea of her being back in a year! :)

We started a blog to keep track of her progress. The idea is that, when she's home and up to it, she can read it and add to it herself (she's familiar with this blog platform because of another blog she keeps) if she wants to. Right now, I update it the most, just because with my schedule I can spend the most time with her. If you'd like to read it and see what she's up to, you can check it here: http://lindasmindfuljourney.blogspot.com/

Thanks again for all of the well-wishes, positive thoughts and prayers. They do seem to be working! You guys are the best :)

[hipmamajen]

Just wanted to update everyone with the good news. Linda was able to go home on Friday. YAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! She ended up being in the ICU for almost a month, then on the rehab floor for two weeks. All told, a miraculously short stay considering how devastating her diagnosis was when she hit the ER.

She can do all of her own bathroom stuff, and get in and out of chairs and her bed. She has to use a walker most of the time, and she can't stand long enough to cook or go up and down stairs well enough to manage her laundry. Fortunately her other son and his wife are in between homes right now (long story) and they were able to move in with her and help with that stuff. And Davin and I can zip up with the kids and help out with anything else that needs doing. Her house is much closer to us than the hospital, so we'll save our trips to Boulder for the fun stuff like their amazing book store on the Pearl Street Mall!

Mentally, she's pretty much 100%. That's such a relief after all the days where she couldn't make new memories, and no one could tell us if that was permanent or not. You really don't know how much stuff you're taking for granted until you're visiting with someone who can't remember when you walked into the room. All my nit-picky little worries just fall away in the face of that kind of trouble. My life is good, oh yeah!

Thanks for all of the prayers and encouragement. She's still got a long road ahead of her, but it's going to get easier and more bump-free every day. She'll be doing all sorts of rehab for a while to come, but no one's saying she won't be able to get back to everything she did before, WOW!

And, since I know you're all curious, as near as I can tell Boulder is doing just fine during the pandemic. Either this isn't the Superflu, or Captain Trips just hasn't cranked up to his full potential yet. So, no worries there ;)

[Mookie]

I am so glad that your MIL is on the road to recovery. What a stressful time for you and your family. Sending many prayers for a full recovery.

[hipmamajen]

Yay, I'm actually in here when everything's unlocked! I'm glad to see it, that means things are going well for Ms. Mod, which is ALWAYS good news! Hugs to you :)

I wanted to update you guys, because my MIL is in really awesome shape! Considering we were told in September that she'd probably die, and if she didn't that she'd likely never have any sort of meaningful recovery, she's definitely knocked that all out of the park.

She's back home now and pretty much back to 100% mentally. Get this, she's even allowed to DRIVE!!!! Can you believe that?

The biggest reminder of her brain injury is that she's still somewhat weak, and she tires easily. So, she can drive herself to a doctor's appointment, but that's pretty much it for the day. She can't manage a lot of her shopping, stores are just too big! And she uses either a cane or a walker, depending on how far she has to go. But other than that, she's back to normal. It's unreal!

We went up there the other day and helped her get all of her Christmas decorations put up. That was a lot of fun, and would have taken her days and days to do. I just kept getting kind of teary, because we really could have spent this Christmas without her. I'm a big old crybaby at the best of times, so everyone's pretty used to it by now....

Anyway, I'm just so glad, and I wanted to share.

And, there's still no Captain Trips in Boulder... ;)

[Moderator]

Thanks for letting us know of her progress--that's great news! :love:

[peaceluvnsploosh]

Sorry to hear that

[Kim L.]

That's great news, Jen, and thank you so much for letting us know.

(((((Jen)))))

(((((Linda)))))

[AngelZ]

Jen,
Best wishes to your MIL for a speedy recovery. Must be difficult because it's around the holidays. Sending good thoughts your way.

[StoryTellerRose]

This is such wonderful news! Miracles do happen... you and your family be sure to have a wonderful, happy, Merry Christmas!!!! =)

[Haunted]

Now, your news does a heart good.:love: So what if one trip to the doctor (driving in Colorado can be an adventure onto itself) wears her out? I'd be pooped too. She is a walking miracle. Such wonderful news. Big Hugs

[hipmamajen]

UPDATE!!!!

It's been just over a year now since my MIL had her aneurysm. She's pretty much 100%, although she still tires easily and she can't remember as quickly as she used to. But, to give you an idea of how well things are going, she's off right now on a long-term odyssey!

She took off late last month (after celebrating the big anniversary of her collapse) and has no real plans for coming home. She has her camper, her trusty dog, and a GPS and she's following her dream of checking out the American Southwest. We get email updates from her, in big bundles because she doesn't always have wifi, and she's having a ball!

She hooked up with her Crones group at a regional rendevous (crones are older women who give each other support, it's a New Age kind of thing, maybe someone here has more experience with this and can explain it better?) and got to tell her story in the sharing circle. She says she even told them all about me and how much my help meant to her while she was recovering. Me, specifically! It made me cry happy tears to read about it :)

She says she's on "Walkabout," and she has no real plans to come home. I think the whole near-death thing scared her into focusing on what she really wants to do, and getting out and doing it! Yay for her! We're checking her house regularly, and she's got her mail and bills taken care of, so she's good to go for as long as she wants to. She doesn't have to come home until she's good and ready. I imagine she will either when she's ready to sell her house and go out RVing full-time, or when she's got some equally cool idea of something she wants to do next.

I just wanted to share all this with you guys, since you were so supportive when she was going through it (and we were driving to Boulder and going through it with her!) I figured you all should share in this fun and joyful fruit that has come from all that! Thank you again, you all mean so much to me!

[MrsSmeej]

Jen,
:sad: I'm so sorry that I'm just reading about this now (although it seems as if everyone else said all of the things I would have), but so happy that the news is as wonderful as it is. I'm especially happy for you that your mother-in-law acknowledged how much your care and support meant to her. A simple thank you means so much. She was very fortunate to have you.
Hope she enjoys her walkabout...
:grinning:

[Spideyman]

Jen, that is great news. She is following her dreams. Way to go!!!! And you did do so much for her when she needed you the most:love:

[king family fan]

We will all keep you and yours in our prayers. Best wishes for a full recovery.

[Haunted]

WOW WOW WOW. THANK YOU for this awesome update!! Now that is taking life and doing with it what you want. I wish her good roads.:love:

[GLewman]

This is the best personal story I have seen on here hipmama...This is the first time I have heard about it too, and it gave me chills reading from your first post to your last update...I have a HUGE grin on my face right now and thankyou for letting me in to one of the truly good and miraculous stories I have heard in a looonnnng time...You made my day, week, month, and year...lol...and warmest wishes to you and your family :D

[Kim L.]

Jen, what great news! Good for your MIL, and good for you for being so loving and supportive.

[LadyPain]

As far as the Crone thing goes. In some pagan practices, it's just the final portion of a woman's life. Maiden, mother, crone. So basically, she's running around with a bunch of menopausal women.

[Dana Jean]

That is excellent news Hip! I totally agree on the good for her--if she can do it, I say DO IT!

And just so everyone knows, I'm a crone-in-training. Someday, I'm going to be cool.

[FlakeNoir]

I am soooo happy to read this, Jen! She reminds me in very many ways of my partner's Mum. (Even down to the going on Walkabout in her RV thing) Thanks so much for sharing this news, it is wonderful! :love:

[Haunted]

As far as the Crone thing goes. In some pagan practices, it's just the final portion of a woman's life. Maiden, mother, crone. So basically, she's running around with a bunch of menopausal women.

Can't discount them hormones--no sireee--them hormones iz dangerous!:eek2: 'Taint nothin' more powerful uhhuh!!

[hipmamajen]

As far as the Crone thing goes. In some pagan practices, it's just the final portion of a woman's life. Maiden, mother, crone. So basically, she's running around with a bunch of menopausal women.

Thanks, Lady Pain. The Crones were a ROCK for her when she was in the ICU, and I'm really glad she was able to hook up with them now at the rendezvous at the beginning of her trip.

I know that she's really tickled by the idea that she can't be an "elder" in her crones group until she's 80. She loves that :)

Thanks again everyone, you guys all mean so much to me!

[JohnDalglish]

Hi,

Apropos what LadyPain said, Jen, she might enjoy Terry Pratchett's tales of some really funny (and very wise!) crones such as Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg.

So might everyone, come to think of it.

'Wyrd Sisters' much recommended!

Discworld witches

Long days and pleasant nights

[Sigmund]

I wasn't here when it happened but I sure am glad to hear the wonderful news. Yay!
Bless your MIL and you (and yours).

[Lily Sawyer]

That's AWESOME news, Jen. What a great story, with a very happy ending. :)

[Tery]

((((mamajen))))

Such good news! Sending much love to you and her. Crones ROCK! (well.... as much as we can what with our creaky bones and all...) :smile2: