English is a crazy language...

[Srbo]

Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.

[Todash]

Haha ... I have often thought how difficult it must be to learn English as a second language. :D

[JohnDalglish]

Hi,

Indeed, Srbo, I've got nothing but the greatest respect for anyone like you who learns English as a second language.

Long days and pleasant nights

[dragafari]

:rofl: Nice post!

Nuff Vibez!

[lilydust76]

That's hilarious-things you don't really think about too much because they just are.

[MrsSmeej]

:biggrin2: You are so funny Srbo... Not least because you are so correct.

[mojomofo]

Hi,

Indeed, Srbo, I've got nothing but the greatest respect for anyone like you who learns English as a second language.

Long days and pleasant nights

AWJS.

Lord knows I have a hard enough time mangling it as a native, I can't imagine how confusing it is to learn it as a second language.

[Nero]

Haha ... I have often thought how difficult it must be to learn English as a second language. :D

I learned English as a second language, which then was upgraded to my only language, and my original first language is now my second language with English now being is my first language... does that make sense?

[PatInTheHat]

Ya hit that one on the nose...got it right on the money...thinking outside the box is what I'm sayin':wink2:.

If more than one mouse is mice and more than one goose is geese, then why wouldn't more than one moose, be meece:eyebrow:?...yeah uh huh, somebody get back to me on that one would ya!
(it's been driving me crazy ever since I had to sit next to the teachers desk for asking and being accused of being a disruptive influence, bane to higher education and a typical all around smart azzz (:oo:yeah, that one makes go hmmm too, but I do so like to use it:biggrin2:)...hmmph, I still think it's a legitimate question:glare:)

[Volic]

A great post, Srbo!:biggrin2:

[Volic]

More to add...

They decided not to present the present at present.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

The dump was so full that they had to refuse more refuse.

Mean wages mean a lot to a mean man in a mean house in a mean neighbourhood with mean neighbours, who is himself rather mean to his neighbours and keeps a cat as mean as himself.

I must buy some polish to polish our Polish furniture.

On one side of the bass drum was painted a bass.

A bandage is carefully wound around the wound.

The boy threw a stone at it, and the dove dove (= dived) into the bushes.

We bought a farm to produce produce.

Do you object to this object?

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

I couldn't wind up the machine because of the high wind.

After a number of injections my jaw got number. And after a number of injections my leg got number and number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

[bopropadop]

That's hilarious, thanks!

Reminds me of one Eddie Izzard's acts when he's talking about the difference between Brit's English and American English. Speaking of herbs, he says as a Brit:

"You say ERB, we say HERB. Because there's a f***ing H in it."

Cracks me up.

[Speedy2]

Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.

You would love George Carlin stand up comedy with all of your questions about the English language and the U.S. in general. Are you familiar with him?

[Spideyman]

These are great! And we wonder why no one understands the English language:smile2:

[Srbo]

Good ones, Volic. :biggrin2:

Thanks everybody for the inputs, had to laugh at Neros, yeah, it does make sense...:biggrin2:

Yep, I do know Carlin, funny as hell ( since when is hell funny ? )

:biggrin2:

[phidgt]

Gallagher's Take on the Schools (includes his "English Language" skit)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2acXjdPzlY

[Patricia A]

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa219/plcarmstrong/english-1.jpg

[spanishjoe74]

'houses for mouses' or 'hice for mice' ?:eyebrow:

[Tery]

That was my first thought, too Speedy. This is the sort of stuff Carlin could riff on for hours! :rofl:

[Miss Barbie]

Haha ... I have often thought how difficult it must be to learn English as a second language. :D


It is not that difficult. I've been learning English since I was 10 (thanks mom!). Now I'm 24 and I study to be a translator at college. And I work as an English Language teacher in a school (4th grade... 17 9-year-olds just for me! LOL). I can't say I found it difficult, that would be not true... Try Spanish or Italian... Those are really difficult, specially what comes to tenses...

[CorbinKale]

English is fun. I'm glad I learned that first, because when I study other languages, I feel that I have the hard one out of the way, already!

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

[aussiewonder]

Wow you said a mouthful Srbo, and you are exactly right!

[Susielikesit]

In grade 10 my English teacher gave us the paperback, Everything you wanted to know about Grammer but were afraid to ask... Did wonder's for me! English is crazy though...totally bastardized.

[Agincourt Concierge]

I know people that have a hard time learning English as their primary language!!!! :biggrin2:

Come to rural Virginia.....They murder the King's English....When I first moved here I could have sworn some folks were speaking with marbles in their mouths....:biggrin2:

[Kim L.]

English muffins were not invented in England .


They weren't? Another illusion dashed. :sad:

[SKfan2006]

you know what's really messed up. when you translate another language into english you have to rearange the words just to see it make sense at all.

[Gelata]

Great thread, Srbo.
As some of you now, I learnt English as a second language. Well, in fact, I never say 'I speak English', I don't dare to say that. I consider myself as an eternal English student, mostly because I love it. It's true that English language has so many paradoxes and sometimes it may seem 'crazy', though this happens in other languages too, Spanish, for instance. However, I think English is funnier, I don't know why. It allows more playing with words.
I love that kind of things, because it makes you think how complex a languages are; how long it takes to develope and evolve, and how much magic is in them. You can play with words in so many ways, and the fun never ends.

[Gelata]

Ah, what about this:

If you write write write, you write write right; but if you write write right, you write write wrong.

[MrsSmeej]

:biggrin2:

English is a pain... Fluency is hard to gain.
As clear to foreign speakers as a dirty window pane.
It isn't just the same words that can stand for different things
But homonyms that sound the same, yet different spelling brings

A headache. Why, we have 3 words that sound like number 2;
To, too, two or - link them up - a fluffy white tutu
And let us not forget that there is their and they're and there
(Even native speakers get them wrong, so don't despair.)

But, like the rest, I stand in awe of those who've learned to speak
A second different language. My own language skills are weak.
The only things that I can say in languages not mine
Are; Point me to the bathroom... Please and thank you... Pass the wine.

Or the wine's equivalent. It doesn't do to whine
Any drink my host puts out is sure to do me fine.
But, Srbo, Volic, Draga and you others 'cross the globe?
I'm sorry learning English rivals all the trials of Job.

:oo:

[skaddict1978]

wow...thats some great stuff...looks like some of the SK board members should do comedy. I loved it. and btw speedy George Carlin is my all time favorite Comedian.

[Srbo]

I love you, guys.

Especialy you, Mrs Smeej.

:biggrin2:

Today is Christmas for Orthodox people, thank you all for making me smile on this special day.

:)

[poisonbat]

You all crack me up! I took 2 years of Spanish in high school and 1 year in college, still can't get that language down:glare: After reading these posts, I am glad as heck I learned English first. :eek2: Through and Threw we will all get through this, hehe :bat:

[Volic]

:biggrin2:

English is a pain... Fluency is hard to gain.
As clear to foreign speakers as a dirty window pane.
It isn't just the same words that can stand for different things
But homonyms that sound the same, yet different spelling brings

A headache. Why, we have 3 words that sound like number 2;
To, too, two or - link them up - a fluffy white tutu
And let us not forget that there is their and they're and there
(Even native speakers get them wrong, so don't despair.)

But, like the rest, I stand in awe of those who've learned to speak
A second different language. My own language skills are weak.
The only things that I can say in languages not mine
Are; Point me to the bathroom... Please and thank you... Pass the wine.

Or the wine's equivalent. It doesn't do to whine
Any drink my host puts out is sure to do me fine.
But, Srbo, Volic, Draga and you others 'cross the globe?
I'm sorry learning English rivals all the trials of Job.

:oo:

You are a talent!!!:love:

[Speedy2]

wow...thats some great stuff...looks like some of the SK board members should do comedy. I loved it. and btw speedy George Carlin is my all time favorite Comedian.

Mine too, I could listen to him for hours. He published a book or two and I have one called "Brain Candy" it is hilarious.

[Spideyman]

Mrs Smeej rides again! Good poem.

[Todash]

Great thread, Srbo.
As some of you now, I learnt English as a second language. Well, in fact, I never say 'I speak English', I don't dare to say that. I consider myself as an eternal English student, mostly because I love it. It's true that English language has so many paradoxes and sometimes it may seem 'crazy', though this happens in other languages too, Spanish, for instance. However, I think English is funnier, I don't know why. It allows more playing with words.
I love that kind of things, because it makes you think how complex a languages are; how long it takes to develope and evolve, and how much magic is in them. You can play with words in so many ways, and the fun never ends.
I agree, actually. I love the English language, all the different usage patterns and different ways to say things, and how it's a mishmash of so many other languages.

[pepino]

you know what's really messed up. when you translate another language into english you have to rearange the words just to see it make sense at all.

This is so true and I've never made sense of it. I could remember the words, but couldn't master the sentence structure.:smile2:

[Moderator]

Your curiosity may be piqued when you peek at that peak.

[Sheila Carlyle]

Mine too, I could listen to him for hours. He published a book or two and I have one called "Brain Candy" it is hilarious.

I have Brain Droppings and a couple of vinal albums.
Cracks me up and makes me think...but mostly, cracks me up!

S.

[boogerb53]

I learned English as a second language, which then was upgraded to my only language, and my original first language is now my second language with English now being is my first language... does that make sense?

Huh?:oo:

[boogerb53]

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa219/plcarmstrong/english-1.jpg

:rofl:

[Agincourt Concierge]

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa219/plcarmstrong/english-1.jpg

Oh Pat....:rofl::rofl: too funny....

[SKfan2006]

This is so true and I've never made sense of it. I could remember the words, but couldn't master the sentence structure.:smile2:

yeah. i took spanish for two years and can't understand it without a spanish to english and yet i can understand a little japanese without a dictionary and i have no experience with it schoolwise.

[Gelata]

Gallagher's Take on the Schools (includes his "English Language" skit)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2acXjdPzlY

This is great. Thank you!

[Gelata]

I hadn't heard of George Carlin previously, but I've found him in Youtube. He's great. Try this:

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=h67k9eEw9AY

[MrsSmeej]

:blush::blush::love:

Thank you.

:eek2: Is it strange that I've never even met some of my very favorite people? :biggrin2:

[Sundrop]

This reminds me of an episode of I Love Lucy. The one where she and Ricky are learning "proper English" so that their baby will be well spoken. Has anyone else seen that one? I wish I could find a link

[Vegetable in Glasses]

English is surely screwy! Thanks for taking the time to learn so we can get to know each other!
If I were to try in your native languages, we'd still be strangers, or confused and offended all the time:smile2:

[Gelata]

English is surely screwy! Thanks for taking the time to learn so we can get to know each other!
If I were to try in your native languages, we'd still be strangers, or confused and offended all the time:smile2:

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Gelata]

And what about stationary and stationery. I think both words are pronounced the same, isn't it?

[clac]

wow, how do you want me to not lost what i learned, when i read all you posts :biggrin2:

English may be a crazy language, but it's a wonderful language. i love to listen to people speaking english.
anyway, what was pointed in the first post was just funny things about words. it doesn't mean it's a "difficult" language. i saw on tv that in fact, english was the easiest european language, if you wanna learn one. and others, like spanish, italian, or french (and french, especially, if i remember well), were the hardest!

[Gelata]

As far a s I know, languages are not difficult or easy by themselves. It always depends on what your native language is. For instance, for a Spanish speaker, Italian, French, Portuguese... are easier languages than English, because Spanish, Italian, etc belong to the same family of languages and they are quite 'similar' in many aspects. For the same reason, for a German speaker, English must be easier than Spanish or French.

[SKfan2006]

you know whats really funny, madiran chinese is spoken more than english and nobody comments how hard that language is.

[clac]

you know whats really funny, madiran chinese is spoken more than english and nobody comments how hard that language is.

i think you already know it's spoken more because there are over 1.500.000.000 chinese people... :sleepy:
but you're right, it's a hard language :oops:
(makes me think i was trying to learn japanese, i should keep learning!)

[nunu_chis]

Hahaha, that`s very funny!

I learn English as a second language and it is not difficult, well at least I never had troubles with it, but I think that learning spanish (if I didn`t know) would be very hard, one simple reason:
THERE ARE ALMOST NO F*****G RULES FOR VERB TENSES!
English is almost an universal language now, and everyday I thank my mother for having sent me to learn it during 8 years (this one was my last) because it is useful for anything, for example, how would I talk with you if I didn`t know English.. or if I meet Stephen King, how could I communicate with him?? haha

[Srbo]

Hahaha, that`s very funny!

I learn English as a second language and it is not difficult, well at least I never had troubles with it, but I think that learning spanish (if I didn`t know) would be very hard, one simple reason:
THERE ARE ALMOST NO F*****G RULES FOR VERB TENSES! English is almost an universal language now, and everyday I thank my mother for having sent me to learn it during 8 years (this one was my last) because it is useful for anything, for example, how would I talk with you if I didn`t know English.. or if I meet Stephen King, how could I communicate with him?? haha


How do you mean ?
Is that even possible ?

[tillyn]

This sounds like something George Carlin did in his stand up act. NO? If he didn't he should have. :biggrin2:

[Tery]

I write a weekly "column" about words. I did this one a couple of weeks ago. It illustrates some words that are very easily confused...

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/2/22/201237/933/238/699476

[JohnDalglish]

Hi,

Interesting fact on Stephen Fry's QI program recently -

80% of people in the world who speak English do it as a second language.

Well, thank goodness for that!

And the languages that appear hardest to me are Dutch and Flemish, but thankfully the Dutch are much better educated than most and nearly all speak good English and German.

Long days and pleasant nights

[JRLauer]

This is so very true. I've heard routines from George Carlin and Gallagher that point out the fact that the English language is just plain stupid sometimes. Great post Srbo. Made my day.:biggrin2:

[Natjen24]

AWJS.

Lord knows I have a hard enough time mangling it as a native, I can't imagine how confusing it is to learn it as a second language.

Well, since it is my third language, I can say it's not THAT hard. It's easier than my second language which is French. But I think I'm not speaking it flawless. :blush:

[smooth operator]

Just think of the many meanings of the word RUN.

[JayneH]

I started learning Chinese Mandarin and it is one of the most difficult languages to learn because of the tones. I was the only westerner in the room - the rest were all chinese people there to learn their own language as they had been brought up in Australia and had forgotton. Therefore - I fell behind as I had no one at home to practice on - they had their parents, family etc....

What I find amusing about the English language is the difference between English speaking countries. (mainly England, Aust & USA)

We have thongs - US has flip flops
Fanny means something totally different here than the US !!!!!
A fanny pack in the US is a Bum Bag here.
Fags are cigarettes

And there are heaps more !
We call people with red hair Blue

[Gelata]

Originally Posted by nunu_chis

I learn English as a second language and it is not difficult, well at least I never had troubles with it, but I think that learning spanish (if I didn`t know) would be very hard, one simple reason:
THERE ARE ALMOST NO F*****G RULES FOR VERB TENSES!

How do you mean ?
Is that even possible ?

Well, THERE ARE rules for verb tenses in fact. Sometimes we native speakers are not aware of them, but there are. The problem is that there are also many irregularities,which make it quite difficult to learn the tenses. But not more than French or Italian tenses.

[Gelata]

I write a weekly "column" about words. I did this one a couple of weeks ago. It illustrates some words that are very easily confused...

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/2/22/201237/933/238/699476

That's really interesting, Tery, specially for a non-native English speaker. Thank you for the link.

[Srbo]

I write a weekly "column" about words. I did this one a couple of weeks ago. It illustrates some words that are very easily confused...

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/2/22/201237/933/238/699476


Cool.
Thank you so much for the link.

Gelata, thanks for the explanation.

And JR...you are welcome.:smile2:

[Kim L.]

I started learning Chinese Mandarin and it is one of the most difficult languages...
What I find amusing about the English language is the difference between English speaking countries. (mainly England, Aust & USA)

We have thongs - US has flip flops

And there are heaps more !
We call people with red hair Blue

when I was a kid, we used to call them thongs, then "thong" started to mean underwear so we flip-flopped.

[mudpuppy]

I think this relates loosely to the topic of this thread: I just read an article and a person mentioned was named Shatonia. If there are any Shatonia's on this board please do not be offended! I just think that name is unfortunate in English.

[Gelata]

I think this relates loosely to the topic of this thread: I just read an article and a person mentioned was named Shatonia. If there are any Shatonia's on this board please do not be offended! I just think that name is unfortunate in English.

May I ask why?

[LadyHitchhiker]

You can be disgruntled.

But can you be gruntled?

[mudpuppy]

May I ask why?


Um, I guess just if you break the name into 3 words it sounds like something different than a pretty female's name? I don't know. Truly I was deliberating over that post after I put it up there, wishing I could take it back because its just a name, and people's names are special, so even if it loosely sounded like something else I felt rather like a turd for mentioning it.

[JayneH]

when I was a kid, we used to call them thongs, then "thong" started to mean underwear so we flip-flopped.

A thong here is a G String....
was watching a show last night and there was an canadian singer on it and she was totally grossed out by the word Squiz.... which I thought everyone used. Some asked her to "take a squiz at a kangaroo" and she automatically thought the worst ! oh and she had never heard of ta either.... again a word I thought everyone used.....

[LadyHitchhiker]

You can overreact. Can you underreact?

[Moderator]

You can overreact. Can you underreact?


Perhaps--if you are nonplussed? Which brings up you can be nonplussed but can you be plussed? :smile2:

[JohnDalglish]

Perhaps--if you are nonplussed? Which brings up you can be nonplussed but can you be plussed? :smile2:

Hi,

Don't know, but I've been underwhelmed before.

By the news of a cinema length IT, for example.

Long days and pleasant nights

[Wendybird]

Ok now I am confused................

If my feet smell and my nose is running does that mean I am upside down?

:dunno:

[Autumnlyn]

Srbo, you don't even want me to tell you about onomatopoeias!! BANG! WHOOSH! CRACK! BLAM! CREEKK!

[mudpuppy]

Okay, you can have repercussions, but can you have percussions? Really, can you? I don't know if I've ever heard it put that way. :confused:

[Kim L.]

And is anyone ever mayed, turbed or gusted?

[Todash]

And is anyone ever mayed, turbed or gusted?
I was, and let me tell you, it's the most fun you can have legally.

[gclark]

A thong here is a G String....
was watching a show last night and there was an canadian singer on it and she was totally grossed out by the word Squiz.... which I thought everyone used. Some asked her to "take a squiz at a kangaroo" and she automatically thought the worst ! oh and she had never heard of ta either.... again a word I thought everyone used.....

ok, now i'm lost!!!! what's squiz and ta?!!!!! maybe its just not made it to america yet? lol

[Srbo]

:rofl:

This has turned out to be a really great thread...:smile2:

I learned a lot here from you guys...

[rose key]

ok, now i'm lost!!!! what's squiz and ta?!!!!! maybe its just not made it to america yet? lol

I would also like to know. What is a "squiz" and a "ta"? I've never heard these words before.

[Srbo]

I would also like to know. What is a "squiz" and a "ta"? I've never heard these words before.

Neither did I.
What do they mean ?

[spanishjoe74]

Neither did I.
What do they mean ?

squiz means to have a look at & ta is just another way of saying thanks ( hope this gets rid of all the mental images that could keep you awake at night!!)

[Srbo]

Oh, cool, thanks Joe.

Another one:

Ordinary means something is just well... ordinary, nothing special, average, right ?

But when you say extraordinary, that means it`s superb.

Shouldn`t that mean it`s just extra average ? :eek2:

[RandomMan]

Great post!

The English language is truly crazy. It also tends to change depending on the region of the US you live in. In Texas, if it is cold out you put a taboggan on you head to keep it warm. Not until I was 28 years old did someone from the north tell me that a taboggan was a sled ????????? WTF!

[ChaseTx]

你好吗? 我不喜欢英文!
Me encanta aprender otras lenguas! Yo tomé cinco años de español en colégio, y este año yo empecé aprender Chine (Mandarina)!

ありがとうございます。

I've lived in Texas my whole life and I know toboggan can mean sled. But we don't get much snow, so I could see not knowing the word.

[Danivan]

Just for a little fun we decided to make flammable and inflammable mean the same thing!
:eek2:

[RandomMan]

你好吗? 我不喜欢英文!
Me encanta aprender otras lenguas! Yo tomé cinco años de español en colégio, y este año yo empecé aprender Chine (Mandarina)!

ありがとうございます。

I've lived in Texas my whole life and I know toboggan can mean sled. But we don't get much snow, so I could see not knowing the word.

Well, a sled to us growing up was a trash-can lid....so there ya go! Again, this is East Texas mind you.

[Srbo]

I can`t figure this out:

When do you use " then " in a sentence and when do you use " than " ?

[Moderator]

"Than" is used when it is a comparison, exception, or contrast, e.g. I like oranges more than apples.

"Then" has to do with time, referring to a particular situation, or being in addition to, etc., e.g. I bought oranges and then I bought apples.

[Srbo]

"Than" is used when it is a comparison, exception, or contrast, e.g. I like oranges more than apples.

"Then" has to do with time, referring to a particular situation, or being in addition to, etc., e.g. I bought oranges and then I bought apples.

Thanks.

It`s prounaunced the same though, yes ?

[Moderator]

Not really -- at least not where I live. :smile2:

The "e" in then I pronounce like the "e" in end and the "a" in than I pronounce like the "a" in can.

[Srbo]

Not really -- at least not where I live. :smile2:

The "e" in then I pronounce like the "e" in end and the "a" in than I pronounce like the "a" in can.

I feel like crying.

English IS a crazy language!

[spanishjoe74]

I feel like crying.

English IS a crazy language!

i wouldn't cry if i were you! i live in england & even i dont know what some people are talking about!! there are so many local dialects to contend with, its surprising that civil war hasn't broken out (again!)

[OhmyGod!]

In Holland everyone has to learn in high school: English, French and German.

French isn't that hard, the spelling's got some easy rules. But because it's from another 'main language' (doesn't look like English, Dutch and German) you have to learn all the very different words (and forget them easy when you don't speak it often).

English was much (and is) harder for me to learn...I don't understand all the ‘time stuff’ like past tense and so. I am happy I read a lot in English and watch many movies without subtitles...you pick it up easier. But to write it is a crime for me.

Dutch and German are the most difficult languages in my eyes. Dutch got some really weird forms and they change it all the time. And some rules that are more cultural...(we do also have some great literature!). And we got all these dialects…I speak one too and I get mixed up all the time. German is also very tricky. It sounds a bit like Dutch, so for us it's easy to understand..but hard to speak perfect and write it well.

I would love to learn Spanish or Italian…but I’m just not good with languages…better in math.

[smooth operator]

I see people use these words incorrectly all the time. Once upon a time, I was a proofreader. People began to hate me and my red pencil. Apparently, speaking English all your life is no guarantee of speaking it correctly. But, hey - it's all semantics, right? And yes, English is a crazy language. There are so many rules, but then there are exceptions, which make things more complicated. Then there are words that sound the same, but are spelled differently and have different meanings. And then there is slang, which is another whole language. All I can say is GOOD LUCK.

[Bryan James]

One of the coolest (don't get your 'panties in a wad') and smartest essays I've read in a while.

BJS

[Srbo]

Thanks, Bryan.

And, of course, like Smoooth says...slang.

If it wasn`t for the countless movies I have watched, and I do put the subtitles on every time, I would have not learned many, many of those " phrases". :smile2:

[Srbo]

Sooooo....

When you read or hear something that you agree with...people say what ?

" here, here..." or " hear, hear " ?

I asked a million times and no one is sure about that one....

Thanks.

[Patricia A]

Sooooo....

When you read or hear something that you agree with...people say what ?

" here, here..." or " hear, hear " ?

I asked a million times and no one is sure about that one....

Thanks.

I really don't know... maybe it's here hear... or hear here. :eek2:

http://unbecominglevity.blogharbor.com/blog/_archives/2008/11/10/3970914.html

Ok I found a link that's got the answer.
Good question Srbo!

[AndyDufresne]

In Holland everyone has to learn in high school: English, French and German.

French isn't that hard, the spelling's got some easy rules. But because it's from another 'main language' (doesn't look like English, Dutch and German) you have to learn all the very different words (and forget them easy when you don't speak it often).

English was much (and is) harder for me to learn...I don't understand all the ‘time stuff’ like past tense and so. I am happy I read a lot in English and watch many movies without subtitles...you pick it up easier. But to write it is a crime for me.

Dutch and German are the most difficult languages in my eyes. Dutch got some really weird forms and they change it all the time. And some rules that are more cultural...(we do also have some great literature!). And we got all these dialects…I speak one too and I get mixed up all the time. German is also very tricky. It sounds a bit like Dutch, so for us it's easy to understand..but hard to speak perfect and write it well.

I would love to learn Spanish or Italian…but I’m just not good with languages…better in math.

Hey, a fellow Dutchman. Now, if you really want to be correct, you would've said 'the Netherlands' instead of 'Holland' :). Some people still get pissed over that.
And although I liked learning French and German, the grammar went completely over my head on both languages. My ratings went down rapidly after those were introduced. It's odd I don't have a grammar problem with either Dutch or English, but I suppose that's because I've been using those a lot more. Finally, my lifelong film addiction is useful :).
I do get annoyed when someone misspells a word. Come on, we've all been to school. There is no excuse, I think (apart from dyslexia, which is being used as an excuse far too often. Dyslexic people don't make grammar mistakes, for example). Although it's bound to happen when you have a second language, I try my best not to make any mistakes.

[Emdee]

More to add...

[/B] house in a mean neighbourhood with mean neighbours, who is himself rather mean to his neighbours and keeps a cat as mean as himself.





I don't think I even understod half of that one. :eek2:


I agree with Srbo, English is a crazy language (and it is not the only language that is). Some days I really wish that I was a native. It is so frustrating when you can't express yourself properly. (..and I've got a loooot of studying to do before I can do that without looking up every other word)

Great thread, learned a lot!:)

[Lily Sawyer]

Sooooo....

When you read or hear something that you agree with...people say what ?

" here, here..." or " hear, hear " ?

I asked a million times and no one is sure about that one....

Thanks.

Srbo, it's "hear, hear", meaning that your opinion/comment has indeed been heard by someone who agrees with it, and wants to draw attention to it and you. It's like saying "Listen up, people! He's got a valid point!"

:)

[michal]

Yes... English is a fantastic language to learn as a second one (much easier than my own Mother Tongue I assure you), but some of it simply makes no sense!!!!
And God knows that's not even getting to spelling. Some of my own horrid English spelling mistakes have gotten me into SERIOUS trouble. The first history essay I ever wrote in English (being a boarding school kid in an International School abroad, I had to swim or sink as far as English in concerned) I spelled the word US as ASS, as in "and what does this behavior tell ASS about the Romans?"

My teacher thought I was smart mouthing, and I was almost expelled...:laugh:

[Gelata]

Hi, all:
michal's post reminds me of a collection of sentences written by students in their exams or essays. A teacher collected them and rewrote 'the history of the world':

"The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of huge triangular cubes. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain."

[Srbo]

Thank you Pat and Lily for clearing that up for me.
It bugged me a long time....

[Gelata]

And 'the history of the world' continues:

"The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, 'Am I my brother's son?'. God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites."

[Gelata]

And then:

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

[Srbo]

To be honest, I didn`t understand nothing from Gelatas Bible related posts.

Can I have that in Cantonese now ? :biggrin2:

[Gelata]

Well, what about this?:


'Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns- Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the river Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Illiad" by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, "The Illiad" was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.: :biggrin2:

[Raq]

Awesome topic! For me (as a person who learns English as a second language) it was extremely funny to read it. To be honest, I've never really cared about those things, cause i'm not really into grammar...but man you nailed that one and I think I'll start my research on paradoxes both in English and my mother tongue! Very good job! And once again extremely funny!
@ Gelata
My English teacher at college (he is from The States but lives here in Poland) sometimes gives us sentences wrote by the final year students, to correct and man do they suck! I mean my English is not very good but....believe me that sentences like ' I'm the Pole ' (when they want to write that they are from Poland) are not the worst.

[Srbo]

Well, what about this?:


'Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns- Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the river Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Illiad" by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, "The Illiad" was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.: :biggrin2:

Haha.
Thanks for this one.:biggrin2:

[Gelata]

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock :biggrin2:

In the Olympic Games Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbours were doing :laugh:
When they fought the Parisians the Greeks were outnumbered because the Parisians had more men.

[thymeoperator]

when i used to take russian lessons i asked my teacher from st petersburg if russian people / children had a difficult time with their own language, and she said no, she's never seen anyone struggle with their own language as much as english-speakers. i also tutor english on weekends and some of my students are struggling with the language more than writing skills, and it's always the same set of mistakes and i can help to a point but then the rest is just individual memorisation because english seems to have more irregulars than anything else - it's just made of too many other languages. i'm always having to say 'blame that on german' 'blame that on french' etc.

i also don't like the way english has no neutral noun/pronoun for animate objects - if you don't know someone's gender you have to say 'they' or 'he or she' but one is innacurate and the other is tedious. you could say 'one' but that doesn't quite have the same connotation, and usually you fall back on just saying 'he' but then it's innacurate again.