Terry Pratchett vol 3...
Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more.
What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.
Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.
When the least they could do to you was everything, then the most they could do to you suddenly held no terror.
Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.
Famous I don't know about. It's hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and hear someone say, 'Thanks, that was great, here's some money, same time tomorrow, okay?'
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?". Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".