Favourite Quotes and Quotations

[kingricefan]

"Because you touch yourself at night" - Museum tour guide to a child Peter Griffin after asking why the dinosaurs died
Thanks for the first gut-buster of my day!!!!

[CorbinKale]

This quote tempers my feelings towards Julian's wiki leaks. He mean't to hurt the US, but he may have helped save us. He has revealed our liberty's most dangerous enemy, the corrupt government destroying us from within.

"It is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth -- and listen to the song of that syren, till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those, who having eyes, see not, and having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it might cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it."

--Patrick Henry, speech in the Virginia Convention, 1775

[blunthead]

"After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board." --sign in a British office.

"MIDNIGHT BOWLING SATURDAY AT 9 P.M." --sign outside bowling alley in Lakewood, CO

"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." --sign in Men's clothing store

"This Is The Gate Of Heaven, Enter Ye All By This Door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.) --sign on church door

"We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work.)" --sign on door of repair shop

"I consider Madonna a friend, and she sure knows how to work the publicity machine. Of course, I don't have breasts. If I did have, I'd be in the number one spot over Madonna." --Spike Lee, Director

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?" --Stuart Hall, Radio 5 live

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." --Stuart Pearce

"The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush." --Sylvestor Stallone, Actor

"I favor access to discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation." --Ted Kennedy, US Senator

[Haunted]

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.



Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.



If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.


'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'

[kellykid]

You swim in confidence, you drown in negativity.

[blunthead]

"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." --Ted Lowe

"I would say that anything that is indecent and violent in TV is a crime against humanity and they should shoot the head man responsible." --Ted Turner, Media Mogul

"If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities, and I haven't sold them." --Ted Turner, Media Mogul, on selling off his money losing properties

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." --Terry Venables

Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?"
Defendant: "Well, I can see pretty well, I think." --Testimony from court records

"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck" --Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on the shortage of city parking spaces

"He was a man of great statue" --Thomas Menino, Boston Mayor, on former mayor John Collins

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Now, the only thing that remains unresolved is the resolution of the problem." --Thomas Wells, Ontario legislature minister

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." --Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins

[kellykid]

"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life."
~ Author Unknown

"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. "
~Peter De Vries

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
-- Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there's a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
-- Erma Bombeck

[fljoe0]

''I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change.''—Dan Quayle

''Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.''—former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, 2003

''Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?''—George W. Bush, Jan. 11, 2000

''Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya.''—Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008

''One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.''—Dan Quayle

[blunthead]

"Did people build this, or did Indians?" --Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park

"And Mansell comes into the pits, he's quite literally sweating his eyeballs out." --UK Sports coverage on TV

"We didn't lose, we weren't beaten, we just came in second." --U.S. commentators, after Canadian Donavon Bailey won the 100 metre gold medal at the 1996 Olympics

"I just don't think America wants a female host. It's like men don't walk around in skirts in this country. Why change a good thing?" --Vanna White

"I don't know all the certain words to word it." --Vanilla Ice, Rap Star, on why he hired a ghostwriter for his autobiography

"They are not jackbooted Nazi thugs. They are merely German policemen in spiffy uniforms here to help us." --Vichy government (1941 - 1945)

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." --Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player

"You can't just let nature run wild." --Wally Hickel, former Alaska governor

"Do Not Place Hand In Fan While Fan Is Running." --Warning label on central air conditioning unit

"My lord, we find the man who stole the mare not guilty." --Welsh Jury Verdict

[Becks19]

Discipline does not mean suppression and control, nor is it adjustment to a pattern or ideology. It means a mind that sees 'what is' and learns from 'what was'.
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
- Robert M. Pirsig

We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.
- Grace Williams

If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

Power in America today is control of the means of communication.
- Theodore White

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a fish.
- Ovid

One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is a vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.
- Carl Jung

A cup that is already full cannot have more added to it. In order to receive the further good to which we are entitled, we must give of that which we have.
- Margaret Becker

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are.
- Palmer Sondreal

The most original thing a writer can do is write like himself. It is also his most difficult task.
- Robertson Davies