I just took Prozac and dealt with life on my terms.
Thought you might find this interesting.....
I had to search a bit. The video won't play and there's not a lot of info in the written area.
that coach has the right idea. I hope more follow him.
Thing is, there has to be a punishment. There should be an equal (or greater) amount of rehabilitation, but without punishment they won't see that a) they did commit a crime even if they 'only' used words as weapons, b) their crime had a victim, and c) their actions carry consequences.
As for them not being supported at home...a great many come from decent families. Some of the worst bullies I've known actually came from caring, relatively affluent households (that very level of comfort was a trigger in some cases; they looked down on, and learned to despise, anyone who didn't have the same as they had - but always shielded it from their parents). Equally, there were those (like me) who weren't particularly supported at home. Thanks to experiencing Northern Ireland as a young army wife, my mom was on Zanussi for most of the childhood and teens because of the tranquilizers she was on, while my dad...well, let's just say we didn't get on and he offered zero emotional support, though he was big on discipline (being a former military policeman). I often say even now that I wasn't raised in any conventional sense; I was trained. Yet, for all that, I was never a bully.
The bullies who whine that they did it because of this and that...cry me a river, why not. I've trod some of the same track even if I haven't walked in their shoes. I hurt and felt worthless when I was a boy. I was a big lad, as I said, and I knew how to fight (another lesson from my dad). I could have put several people in a locker marked Hurt and never let them out, but I didn't. I didn't even fight back too often (because lessons 3 and 4 said that resorting to violence meant you'd already lost, and that bringing trouble home would have Very Serious Consequences Indeed).
Did I need counselling? Very probably. I didn't get it, because the lesson was that life was tough and you had to be (mentally) tough to ride it out. If anyone is or should be a sociopath, it's me (and it's true that I don't do that well on emotional intelligence or empathy tests).
Basically what I mean is, the fact you're hurting doesn't give you any right or excuse to inflict hurt on others, and if you do - and if you know it's wrong on whatever level and know there are penalties in place - you can expect to land in some hot water.
And that's the other thing: the rules and punishments should be made clear enough well ahead of time. They're going to have to be, because while we didn't grow up with all this tech, modern kids do. In that way, they'll understand it much more easily (and better, in some ways), but won't see the red lines like we usually can. We need to mark them out very clearly, and that's the role of parents and also of the various systems, as the tech is inextricably tied to the world and the rules we live by.
Punishments should not be retroactive - that really would be insane. But a framework of codified punishments allied to clear definitions of what constitutes an infraction could be put into place along with a 'grace period' where more leniency could be shown until there's been time enough for everyone to get used to it (call it a month; it doesn't take that long to read and absorb basic information, when all's said and done).
(reply to Roseasharn, bottom of P4, btw!)
Has anyone watched the movie Bully?
I think it should be compulsory for everyone who works in a school to watch it. Some of those staff members deserve a good knock upside the head.
Anyway, PatInTheHat, if you ever decide to watch the entire movie, pay close attention to Alex. In home, he gets teased, by the ones who love him (and I do believe he's loved by his family). And I think in his case, it may contribute to him accepting the verbal bullying which leads to physical bullying on the bus and in school. It's how those who love him treat him, so it's OK for his "friends" to do it. (The kids on the bus take it way past.)
I also think I see in his eyes that he doesn't want to hurt his mom by telling her what's happening. He may not feel able to stand up to the bullies, but he is doing what he can to protect his mom.
There are just some people in this world you can't tease. They are normal people who have a great sense of humor until it is directed at them. I know two people like this. Great people. But they get very ticked when the humor and teasing turn to them.
Some of these people might strike out at others in different ways. Not every one of them, and not every time. But some are just a little more fragile and you aren't going to "teach" them to have a sense of humor by continuing to tease them. It's just who they are. If you recognize it and continue to do it, then you (royal you) are the bully. Just let them be.
"You've been here before, but things are about to change. I know it. I feel it. There's a storm on the way." -- Stephen King
Here's what i wish....
i wish that children were less mean and a great deal more wise. But that's the problem with being young... you act before you think, you go to great lengths to make yourself seem important (even if it's at the cost of someone elses self confidence). I wish that we could just point fingers at the children and say that this is all on them, they're young and acting out...
But it's not is it...?
because children often learn from example and in these modern days of the 'net... and reality TV.... it seems as if everyone is only interested in their 15 minutes of fame, desperately trying to stretch it out to 20. I've seen just as much adult bullying out there in cyberland as i have by kids. It's sickening and it's sad. And there's many people out there who turn on their comps just so they'll have someone to talk to, to share their feelings with... and this is what they find... bullies.... people stupid with their own cruelty.
NOONE should ever be harassed and bullied to the point where their only way to end their misery is to take their own lives. To feel so alone... so alienated that their grief at having no one has somehow managed to flick that fatal switch.
but here is one more lost girl out there, how i wish she could have found that one connection that might have changed her mind.
so......... dear girl. Dear, beautiful... important, beloved girl. You are worthy of love. This is just a moment in your life, just an inhale and exhale of breath that could never sum up your worth in this world. And if they can only offer you hatred, only give you negativity and ugly words, then know that they do so because they're incapable of anything else. That they're cowards who hide themselves behind a screen. That they hate themselves so much that the only thing they're good at is spreading the very hatred that they feel for themselves onto others to ease their own pain. They're own sense of worthlessness. But look in to yourself and know they're wrong. Know that their words cannot and do not define you, that words only have the power that you give them. Know that you are worthy. Know that you are loved.