Funny sayings that mothers say to their children

[arista]

In honor of Mother's day -I would like to share some funny sayings that my mother have imparted over the years. Do not sit too close to the television you will go blind, I do not care who started the fight I am ending it, If everyone was jumping off a bridge would you do it and the famous one-Were you born in barn.

[not_nadine]

If you keep making that face, it's going to freeze like that.

[FlakeNoir]

*Don't run with scissors
*I brought you into this world and I can take you back out again
*If you kids don't shut the hell up, I'll bang yer damned heads together (This hurts...)
*The wind will change and your face will stay like that

I can't remember any more more right now... I was probably hardly ever listening to her.

[Walter Oobleck]

Yeah...Mom had one she'd use from time to time...Horsesh!t & Cabbage!
That one I've yet to figure out, but she'd voice it w/feeling, eyes in a squint, fists clenched.
Give it a go. It's Friday.

[not_nadine]

I am waitin for Hipmamajen to post

[CCRider529]

Wait till your father gets home!
Because I said so!
Quit crying, or I'll give you something to cry about.
Don't make me come back there!

[PatInTheHat]

"Boy you best be keepin' it in your drawers if you ain't got no job!"....what?..oh yeah right, just me huh?
Oh I gotta million of 'em, but upon further revue, t'would seem they all have a rather similar theme, in a nutshell, "DAMMIT STOP DOING THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE PUKE!!!"
Mama always loved me enough to allow me to attempt the everyday killin' of meself, what she would not tolerate was makin' a big mess, or god forbid embarrassing her (you know, clean bloomers and all that) a'doin it...'Are You Bleeding????...Boy You Best Get Off My Clean Floor Right This Very Second And Bleed Outside!!!'...yeah I mighta spent the better part of a few summers on the porch

[blunthead]

"DAMMIT!"
"...you've got another 'think' coming!"

[tenngolfer]

When my sister, a few years older than me, was going off to camp for the first time as a pre-teen, my mother said, "If you go and get drowned, I'm not letting go back to camp next year".

[fljoe0]

"Don't go in the water, you just ate"