Lighting Farts.

[mjs9153]

[LongTallSally]

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Beans, beans
The musical fruit
The more you eat
The more you toot

Beans, beans
Good for the heart
The more you eat
The more you fart

[mustangclaire]

Never lit a fart... ever. But are farts funny to me? Yep, and always will be

[Walter Oobleck]

Never have rose to that occasion. Or is it risen? Rizen? But I've wondered about the lighted/lit dilemma, have noted the phenomenon in various stories. Don't recall exactly who...Charles Willeford or Elmore Leonard...I think Leonard, but he uses the expression "lighted a cigarette" whereas Willeford uses "lit a cigarette". "Lighted" seems awkward to me and writing it out now, it seems okay, but whenever I've read it in context, the expression seems to violate one of Leonard's 10 Rules for Writers..."if it sounds like writing, rewrite it."

There was this once though, Jimmy's Fart That Cracked Keith Up...we're about ten or so...eleven maybe, and Keith is walking behind Jimmy, heading over to the tracks and the frog pond beyond the steam pipe...and Keith must have been watching Jimmy's jean-clad cheeks, as when Jimmy let go w/a real gasser, the fabric of the jeans...Keith claims...blew out or expanded violently. So there's about ten of us, right, following Jimmy around, waiting for a repeat, all of us w/our eyes fastened on the seat of his pants. And hey, no one can fart on command like that. Eventually the moment passed.

[tenngolfer]

No, but one of my college buddies created a lot of laughs one evening with his rendition.

[tenngolfer]

[arista]

I don't care how old you become....Farts are funny at any age. One of my elderly clients let a huge one...She said that Whew that one was a keeper. I fell off my chair laughing.

[tenngolfer]

[tenngolfer]

Hi!

We introduced ourselves . He then put out his pointer finger and asked me to pull it. (I was...taken aback?, naive?, curious?, confused?)


Peace.

[marjoriefrum]

Sadly, I am flatulently-challenged. I think if I wanted to try to pull that one off I would have to buy some flash cotton and leave a little bit of it hanging by my butt and light that to impress everyone.

Speaking of farts, I knew it was love when my now-husband farted in front of me for the first time. It was so romantic.