Of memories to come

[Srbo]

I like to write about people. Anybody, anything. Little things mostly, the ones you remember for no particular reason. How somebody smiled, how their face looked like in a given moment, a gesture soon to be forgotten..maybe not even noticed at all. Especially about my family, but the sad thing is I spent only a little time with them in my life...the war, moving to Canada and so on...so sometimes I`m running low on memories, until they come back to me, usually in a dream.
I often wonder if my daughter is going to read all that, once she grows up..and if she is going to like to write. Would she write about me? What would she say about daddy? Good man, bad man, fantastic dad or an ass*ole, somebody to look up to or maybe never think about him at all, saint or sinner?
Dang...it`s gonna be a long wait for that. Maybe she`s gonna scribble something down as an assignment in school, but the real stuff? That comes later. If it comes at all. I don`t wanna read what she would write while in puberty. Is there anybody who said or wrote anything positive about his/her parents during that time? I doubt it.
I just hope she`s gonna write at all.
That`s one wish I have in life...to be remembered by her. In a good way, I hope.
Please God help me to be a good dad...I`ll pay you back when I see you...if I see you at all.

Do you ever think about stuff like that, my friends?

[Srbo]

No?
Well then...

[Neesy]

I don't actually write... Either a journal or short stories or a diary. I should start writing things down. I think about whether my son who is getting married very soon will end up having children. I worry about my younger son who has a learning problem and what his future holds. I would say that your daughter is going to appreciate you (but not until after puberty!) of course. I wish you good times ahead with your daughter (family outings, milestones like her graduation and who knows - eventually getting married?) etc. You sound like a good Dad already so I hope she does appreciate her dear old Dad and love him as much as possible!

[Autumn Gust]

Srbo, you asked, "Do you ever think about stuff like that my friends?"

The answer is ALWAYS. As a parent, it never ends-- even when your children are grown, you continue to worry about their safety, ponder some of the choices they make, question whether you could have done a better job raising them, wonder what the actual influence you had on their lives, etc... It's clear by your post that you are a good, intelligent, and thoughtful father. Don't think too far ahead, though-- it's too overwhelming! A philosophy of "One Day at a Time", along with a sense of humor is what keeps me afloat in the parenting game!

[mstay]

Srbo, you asked, "Do you ever think about stuff like that my friends?"

The answer is ALWAYS. As a parent, it never ends-- even when your children are grown, you continue to worry about their safety, ponder some of the choices they make, question whether you could have done a better job raising them, wonder what the actual influence you had on their lives, etc... It's clear by your post that you are a good, intelligent, and thoughtful father. Don't think too far ahead, though-- it's too overwhelming! A philosophy of "One Day at a Time", along with a sense of humor is what keeps me afloat in the parenting game!

This is exactly what I would say too Srbo. I worry every day about what kind of parent I was/am and whether I taught them everything they need to know. (I didn't of course.) I hope they remember the good things better than they remember the bad times. But it's past now and I did what I did.

I think the fact that you are thinking about it means you are doing a better job than a lot of people.

[Moderator]

Not sure if this is what you're thinking of, Srbo, but there are things I've written that I want to make sure are destroyed before my kids or anyone else reads them after I'm gone. They were very private moments of my life that I felt the need to write about but with the intention they were only for me. I've often wondered if some of our historical figures would be okay with having their love letters, diaries, and other private moments shared with the general public.

[Vose]

Just out of curiousity, what form of payment do you think God might accept when you reach the clearing?

I think about stuff like this all of the time. Conjecture like this often makes me a bit crazy, though, since so much of it is out of my hands. Will my son be a good man? Will he listen to the lessons I try to teach him? Will he like me? Will he choose his friends wisely? I have to say that I actually did write lots of positive things about my parents (poetry, journal entries, etc) when I was an adolescent/teenager. The problem was my actual interactions - I loved and respected them but just didn't tell/show them at that point. My guess, Srbo, is that if you're thinking about all of this as clearly as you are then you're probably doing the right thing, at least for the most part!

[LongTallSally]

I write a lot, but I do it in a blog where few people know how to find it. Someone who plays an important role in my life is a regular reader, so someone out there knows I exist and I thank him for his influence pretty regularly. When I am gone, I'll fade from some people's memories, but there will be a written record of what my life is from day to day left behind. I don't advertise my blog because it's mainly where I sort the crap from the day and keep track of important events for later reference.

[Lily Sawyer]

I like to write about people. Anybody, anything. Little things mostly, the ones you remember for no particular reason. How somebody smiled, how their face looked like in a given moment, a gesture soon to be forgotten..maybe not even noticed at all. Especially about my family, but the sad thing is I spent only a little time with them in my life...the war, moving to Canada and so on...so sometimes I`m running low on memories, until they come back to me, usually in a dream.
I often wonder if my daughter is going to read all that, once she grows up..and if she is going to like to write. Would she write about me? What would she say about daddy? Good man, bad man, fantastic dad or an ass*ole, somebody to look up to or maybe never think about him at all, saint or sinner?
Dang...it`s gonna be a long wait for that. Maybe she`s gonna scribble something down as an assignment in school, but the real stuff? That comes later. If it comes at all. I don`t wanna read what she would write while in puberty. Is there anybody who said or wrote anything positive about his/her parents during that time? I doubt it.
I just hope she`s gonna write at all.

Do you ever think about stuff like that, my friends?

Drugaru, when she's a teenager, you'll become Dad the Dork. Guaranteed. (I know; I was once a teenaged girl. And even though I loved my father and still do, he was a d-o-r-k and embarrassed me to no end, especially if he answered the door wearing house slippers.) (Don't ask. I was a teenager. There IS no logic to teenage angst and sources of embarrassment.)
And then you won't be Dad the Dork, when she's college-aged. She'll grow out of it and become Sweet Suzana all over again. But just be prepared to be a seemingly inexhaustable supply of idiocy to her for a stretch of time....and for her to mature out of it as well.
She'll write about it. Don't worry. Most of us do some kind of writing about our families at some point or another.
And yes.....you're a good dad. You don't hear her complaining, do you??

[GNTLGNT]

...the clarity of your soul should shine through to her old friend, never doubt that...some of the heaviest, yet most succinct writing I've ever done, is contained in a text on my cell phone under my "ICE"(In Case of Emergency)slug...it's there for my family, if I should reach the clearing while away...