Fifty Shades of Grey?

[cat in a bag]

I gave up on writing my Fifty Shades of Gravy spin off cookbook. I didn't even finish the safe word sauce. I'm weak, somebody spank me please.

Oh, Patricia! That is funny stuff right there. Thank you!

[Todash]

I don't understand the role playing thing at all, you are you and I am me, why don't we do it in the road?

That seems dangerous. I do not approve.

[Patricia A]

That seems dangerous. I do not approve.

Well... I have never actually done it in the road. I most likely never will either, seeing as how I have sworn off tequila. Just kinda paraphrasing the Beatles there. Thanks Todash.

I want to tell y'all what happened at work yesterday. A lady called the store and asked me if I'd hold a set of the 50 Shades books for her. I told her I'd be happy to. She then asked me if we gave discounts if the books were being bought as a donation for charity. She said she had been made aware that our store does a lot of that sort of thing.
I asked her for more details and she said she wanted to make a Valentine's Day themed gift basket for an auction at her church.

I immediately thought to myself that this could end in tears, but I told her that in order to get her hooked up for donations that she had to submit paperwork that had to go through corporate channels and that we probably could not get that done by the time she needed it, but that I could probably offer her a one time coupon. I then asked her just BTW, if she had read the books, or if she was aware of the content. She said, no but she knew they were really popular and she knew a lot of people were reading them.
I then found a ginger way to ask her if she knew what S&M & Bondage were. She said no. What is that? I cringed as I didn't want to be the one to school her on the subject. I said well, some people enjoy.... some people... well they kinda tie each other up and spank each other and well... you know. She gasped and said NOOO!!! What's wrong with people??!! I could have gotten kicked off the committee!!! Thank you!
She's going to come in today and we're gonna find her something more appropriate for her church auction basket. End of story.

[Patricia A]

One more thing. I'm starting to worry about how much fun I'm having in this thread.

[not_nadine]

Oh man, Patrica A! Could you imagine?

[~Ally~]

Ooh Purrtricia, you really saved that lady. The idea of auctioning those books in church really tickles me fancy! Maybe there would have been a huge bidding war between people too embarrassed to buy the books, but in a situation like that they could plead ignorance about the content.

[atomicinchworm]

To be fair, while the BDSM in the books is being made a big deal of, it is very very mild.

Mrs. EL James obviously doesn't have a kinky bone in her body.

On the subject of chruch ladies, my MIL goes to a group reading club once a month, one of them brought the book up and the oldest among them (80s) was the one who had read it. She was like "Well, there was just so much talk about it; I had to see what the big deal was!"

It helps that despite their denomination (Reformed Mormon. I don't know the proper title. Todash would call me a godless heathen about now), they are a pretty open and progressive group of ladies.

[Shasta]

To be fair, while the BDSM in the books is being made a big deal of, it is very very mild.

Mrs. EL James obviously doesn't have a kinky bone in her body.

WHAT?!?! My poor little prudish brain is cringing. I can't even imagine what not mild would be. Nor do I want to!

[~Ally~]

WHAT?!?! My poor little prudish brain is cringing. I can't even imagine what not mild would be. Nor do I want to!

Is that a polite way of requesting she doesn't respond with more details?

Pee Ess, I told you it was "vanilla"!

[Shasta]

Is that a polite way of requesting she doesn't respond with more details?

Pee Ess, I told you it was "vanilla"!

Yes, yes it is.

I know you did but I didn't believe you!