Jokes

[blunthead]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

[champ1966]

A Cyclops on a Unicorn....now that's an accident waiting to happen

[blunthead]

In high school my daughter was voted "Most Likely to Conceive" - Rodney Dangerfield

[GNTLGNT]

[Brian]

Most environmentally friendly wireless data network... Tree G.

(Yea, I made that up all by myself.)

[momone53]

A first grade teacher is trying to teach her kids about flavor. She passes out a cherry life saver and asks the kids what the flavor is; they all yell out cherry; she passes out a rootbeer one and everyone agrees that it tastes just like a rootbeer soda. Lastely, she passes out a honey drop. No one raises their hand; Teacher says "come on kids doesn't anyone know this flavor? I'll give you a hint; it's what your mother calls your father all the time.

All of a sudden little Johnny jumps out of his seat and says:

Show Spoiler

spit it out everyone, it's an a$$hole!

[91rewoT]

Sometimes it gets a bit stressful on here what with the trolls and the like.So I think its time to lighten the mood for all you guys (over here in England that's a multi gender term )

Thanks for starting this thread! You started my week off great! I'm a terrbile joke-rememberer, so I'll come back to contribute after I pick my hubby's brain for a good one!


(We use "you guys" up here in the northern part of the states too...when I lived down south I was constantly getting "We're not GUYS!" from students!)

[blunthead]

A violinist is playing a concert at Carnegie Hall. He finishes the piece. Voices in the audience shout, "Again! Play it again!".

The violinist is pleased. He plays the piece all the way through a second time. "Again!", the voices shout, "Play it again!".

The musician's self-satisfaction knows no bounds: This is Carnegie Hall, and I'm asked to play not one, but two encores?! When he finishes, the voices rise yet a third time.

Incredulous, the violinist walks to the front of the stage and addresses the audience: "Two encores of the same piece at Carnegie Hall? It's unheard of!".

The audience shouts, "Don't worry, eventually you'll get it right!"

[champ1966]

Just got back from a once in a lifetime holiday

Show Spoiler

Never again

[91rewoT]

Okay, so there are two teachers who are at work. One says "Hey, where's Cindy?" The other one says "She didn't have to work today, she's probably on the SKMB."

(get it? the joke is on them.)
(I made this one up.)
(what? you figured that?)
(why thank you.)

I know, I know, I'm leaving now...