...I have a bashed broken & bloody dead deer by my front porch, and I ain't allowed to hunt down brain dead jackasses and just beat the ever livin' stuffin' out of 'em

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Oh I'm not mad about a runned over Bambi, not on my road, 'cause venison, it happens.
No, what I ain't real happy about, is that whomever hit it, they thought it a good idea to drag it nearer to my house, right next to my van and outdoor kitchen/dining area going by the drag marks in the gravels, but that ain't where I found it.
Ya know there's a funny thing about runned over dead deers, sometimes, they really ain't, and this one, it wasn't, at least not quite.
But I'ma here to tells ya 's, before it goes to the great romping forest in the sky, a woke up "dead" deer sure is capable of causin' not just a bit of damage, like a crashed in quarter panel on a van, a shattered all to hell glass patio table plus one bent up folding chair, and one flattened snazzy brass garden fountain, and I don't want to bore anyone with what looks like could be something out of a Jackson Pollock donate to the Red Cross art project smeared and splashed to all high heavens

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And that musta been when he finally plumb tuckered out and went to his rewards, and a damn good thing he did too, but only because he almost made it on the porch, and that might coulda made for a tad wee wacky(er) morning

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So the question for the day boys & girls mommies & daddies, is, why in the *%@# would even a complete & total idiot, yes even a moron to the highest degree, drag a seemingly dead & broken deer close to a hundred feet off the road, and drop it smack dab next to a house (my house, your house, who cares whose freakin' house!)???
Well I guess that's what I get for sleepin' like a baby last night, I mean gee whiz & holy smokes, evidently, there was enough commotion goin' on to wake the dead

...now if you'll excuse me, twould seem I have a rather large beaten & bloodied carcass to dispose of...yeah I bet there's not just a few folks been waitin' a whole lifetime to be able to say that, huh

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