People say the dumbest stuff...........

[staropeace]

Hey, you have gained weight!
How dumb is that to ask? Not only it is rude and in bad form but the person asked is totally aware that he or she put on some pounds.

I think this has gone bad. Here, taste it and see if you think it is.
Errrr....no.

Anyone have any dumb questions that they have heard?

[nate_watkins]

Many of the dumb questions I've heard were asked by me. :touch:

[Lily Sawyer]

A sales clerk once asked my best friend when she was expecting, and my friend answered "I'm not pregnant, just fat." (It also didn't help that she'd worn a very loose, blouson top that could have doubled for a maternity blouse.) The woman felt awful - you could tell she did - and she apologized all over herself. She knew she should have kept her mouth shut.

After an ex and I broke up, I had reason to call his best friend (wife had borrowed books and I wanted them back). He expressed his true regret at our split, was very amicable, and in a fit of honesty, he proved that the road to Hell truly is paved with good intentions. He thought he was consoling me by saying "you know, you're better off without him. As much as I love him, he's an as*hole....and I told him he'd better not screw this one [our relationship] up. I told him 'you have the perfect woman', and you know what he told me? He said 'yeah, but she's not that good-looking.'"

That was about as edifying as having a turd dropped in my lap.

[GNTLGNT]

...does my azz make my jeans look fat???....:meh:

[Ayko]

When someone calls you on the phone in the middle of the night, you answer "yea" with a dreary voice and the someone says, "sorry, did I wake you?"

[staropeace]

When someone calls you on the phone in the middle of the night, you answer "yea" with a dreary voice and the someone says, "sorry, did I wake you?"

And then you give then a really stupid lie by saying "no I wasn't asleep"

[Tim D.]

I worked in retail for a good number of years. Never did it fail that I would be out on the salesfloor, stocking shelves, dressed in a shirt or smock with the store logo on it, wearing a name tag, and a customer would walk up and say "Do you work here?". I think that's why I still have a nervous twitch in my eye.

[staropeace]

I worked in retail for a good number of years. Never did it fail that I would be out on the salesfloor, stocking shelves, dressed in a shirt or smock with the store logo on it, wearing a name tag, and a customer would walk up and say "Do you work here?". I think that's why I still have a nervous twitch in my eye.


What wuss they thinking...that maybe you just liked to dress up as a store clerk....you liked the color co-ordinated look?

[91rewoT]

I work at a high school and believe me, I hear dumb stuff all day long. Here's the one that is currently on my "Will you stop saying that?!" list:

Student raises hand.
Teacher calls on student.
Student says "I have a question..." before proceeding with said question. Every. Single. Time.

[Lina]

I am always asked the same dumb question. When they call my home phone number, they always ask me "Are you home now?" And what should I answer - "no, I am not, I just happened to take my phone with me"?? :confuse:

[GNTLGNT]

I am always asked the same dumb question. When they call my home phone number, they always ask me "Are you home now?" And what should I answer - "no, I am not, I just happened to take my phone with me"?? :confuse:

...or, a sidebar to that..."OH, you ARE home!"....yeah, I am-what?-you called to whisper sweet nothings to my machine?????.....

[rosie_red]

This happens to me all the time. Grrrrrr



I am always asked the same dumb question. When they call my home phone number, they always ask me "Are you home now?" And what should I answer - "no, I am not, I just happened to take my phone with me"?? :confuse:

[Sundrop]

When someone calls you on the phone in the middle of the night, you answer "yea" with a dreary voice and the someone says, "sorry, did I wake you?"

I always say "No, I just came in from skydiving"

[GNTLGNT]

....I just wanna wring people's necks when I hand em their pills. and they say "is this my medication?"...."Ah hell no! It's powdered earthworm testicles, just thought ya might like em!"...:lfacepalm:

[dregj]

"ARE YOU MORE HOT THAN YOU ARE COLD?"

wtf?

[fljoe0]

When I was 18 or 19, I was working for a petroleum station supply company. We sold new gas station stuff like pumps and tanks and did installations. We had a job at this station where we were installing all new gas pumps. They were having some leaking issues (this was the late 70s and the stories I could tell about how much leaking gas there was at every station would frighten you) so we had to break out the islands and replace pipes in the ground as well as replace the pumps. We were at this site for at least a week and had the place completely torn up. There was a convenience store at this location that was still open but all the gas islands were closed and barricaded.

So anyway, I am down in a hole where the old pumps used to be working on the pipes. A guy pulls up in his car, gets out and looks at me in the hole and says, "fill it up." I said (without laughing my ass off), "sir, there are no gas pumps, it's going to be a couple of days until the gas islands are open again." He said, "well, I'm never coming here again" and got in his car and drove off.

[Lily Sawyer]

I always say "No, I just came in from skydiving"

Can't wait to hear that one when I call you at 3:00 AM tomorrow morning. *snort*

Okay, okay, okay.....I'm seeing myself out now.

[Lily Sawyer]

When I was 18 or 19, I was working for a petroleum station supply company. We sold new gas station stuff like pumps and tanks and did installations. We had a job at this station where we were installing all new gas pumps. They were having some leaking issues (this was the late 70s and the stories I could tell about how much leaking gas there was at every station would frighten you) so we had to break out the islands and replace pipes in the ground as well as replace the pumps. We were at this site for at least a week and had the place completely torn up. There was a convenience store at this location that was still open but all the gas islands were closed and barricaded.

So anyway, I am down in a hole where the old pumps used to be working on the pipes. A guy pulls up in his car, gets out and looks at me in the hole and says, "fill it up." I said (without laughing my ass off), "sir, there are no gas pumps, it's going to be a couple of days until the gas islands are open again." He said, "well, I'm never coming here again" and got in his car and drove off.

:facepalm:

[Todash]

I worked in retail for a good number of years. Never did it fail that I would be out on the salesfloor, stocking shelves, dressed in a shirt or smock with the store logo on it, wearing a name tag, and a customer would walk up and say "Do you work here?". I think that's why I still have a nervous twitch in my eye.

I once walked up behind someone in Target who was wearing khaki pants and a red polo and asked her a question. She turned around ... no name tag. Not a Target employee. I was a bit embarrassed.

[Tim D.]

I once walked up behind someone in Target who was wearing khaki pants and a red polo and asked her a question. She turned around ... no name tag. Not a Target employee. I was a bit embarrassed.

It always annoyed me because so many people would see me working at the store I was employed by and ask me if I worked there, but to this day I can be out shopping at other stores and people routinely ask me for help. And it's not the same people because the store I used to work at is in a different town from where I live. I guess I just look like a helpful guy.

[fushingfeef]

My favorite is when I get emails that say "Let me know if you did not receive this." This has happened more times than I can count! How the heck am I supposed to know if I didn't get the email?

[staropeace]

Being a patient in a hospital bed with visitors and having the nurse come in and ask if you had a bowel movement today can be quite stressful and embarrassing. Are they not taught about tact? lol refer's to Scott and Ally's expertise...what say you?

[GNTLGNT]

Being a patient in a hospital bed with visitors and having the nurse come in and ask if you had a bowel movement today can be quite stressful and embarrassing. Are they not taught about tact? lol refer's to Scott and Ally's expertise...what say you?

...I say, if the nurse can't tell by the reek, that you've "gone poopy"...then they need to find another vocation...

[mustangclaire]

I love my local butchers, it's always busy. It always makes me chuckle when customers ask our jolly butcher (resplendent in red cheeks, jaunty striped hat and riddled with gout) "ooh, I'll have some of that Sirloin, is it good?".. I'm LONGING for him to say "nope, tastes like sh1te, but I'm selling it anyway!!"...:lfacepalm:

[kingricefan]

It always annoyed me because so many people would see me working at the store I was employed by and ask me if I worked there, but to this day I can be out shopping at other stores and people routinely ask me for help. And it's not the same people because the store I used to work at is in a different town from where I live. I guess I just look like a helpful guy.

It's called 'retail face' and you are afflicted with it! It happens to me all the time. I've worked retail all my life and every once in a while I'll be in a store somewhere (not where I work) and someone will approach me and ask 'Do you work here.' hate it!

[GNTLGNT]

It's called 'retail face' and you are afflicted with it! It happens to me all the time. I've worked retail all my life and every once in a while I'll be in a store somewhere (not where I work) and someone will approach me and ask 'Do you work here.' hate it!

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32898261.jpg

[kingricefan]

Good one!!!!!! :hahahahaha:

[SusanNorton]

I dated in a guy in college who kept telling me I could be a model if I would just lose weight. He was a triathlete, very into health and exercise, and I was a reader who liked to eat Snickers. I was that way before I met him, after I met him, and am still that way. But still, he kept trying to change who I was. So we broke up. Five years later he looked me up again. Can you guess what he asked me?? Can you believe a person would call up another person and ask them if they were still "overweight?" Had I said, "Why no, as a matter of fact I lost 25 pounds," do you think my next statement would have been "Sure, come on over!!" What I wanted to ask him was, "Are you still in your twenties and balding and living with your mom?" But I was nice, and kindly let him know that yes I was still chubby and still pretty but no longer interested in dating him.

[Lily Sawyer]

Can you guess what he asked me?? Can you believe a person would call up another person and ask them if they were still "overweight?"

Woooooowwwwwwww....that is steel radial chutzpah.

You were too nice. You should have asked him if he was revisiting his decision to opt out of charm school.

[SusanNorton]

Woooooowwwwwwww....that is steel radial chutzpah.

You were too nice. You should have asked him if he was revisiting his decision to opt out of charm school.

I used to be such a nice person! I guess that's youth for ya, huh? I would just loooooove to get a phone call from him today. :D

[Tim D.]

It's called 'retail face' and you are afflicted with it! It happens to me all the time. I've worked retail all my life and every once in a while I'll be in a store somewhere (not where I work) and someone will approach me and ask 'Do you work here.' hate it!

I must have a real nice retail face. They usually just assume with utmost certainty that I work in whatever store I happen to be in and just walk right up and demand help. It's usually little old ladies. I think I'll stop being so nice and kind and getting things off high shelves for them and instead just yell "Scram, ya old bat!" at them.

[dregj]

woman who spent weeks learning spanish beoer her big trip to south america
and her first day ,her sentence to the waiter was
"buenos aires ,senior"

[CCRider529]

Sometimes my daughter acts like a blond. Yesterday we had gone somewhere, and the baby fell asleep. She was still asleep when we got home, and my daughter went to get my grandson off the bus. The baby had woke up, so I got her out of the car seat. When my daughter came in the house, she asked, "How did she get out of the car seat?"
I just gave her a look, and walked away...

[nate_watkins]

You shoulda told her she got out on her own... :oops:

[fushingfeef]

My poor dear wife had a hernia during her last pregnancy so her tummy still has a bit of a bump to it. People are always asking her when the baby is due. Usually she'll gesture at the kids and say "They're already here!"

[AnnaMarie]

Hey, you have gained weight!
How dumb is that to ask? Not only it is rude and in bad form but the person asked is totally aware that he or she put on some pounds.

You know my sister?

I met up with her at Walmart and she very loudly said "WOW! Have you gained weight?"

I responded "Yes. Thank you for noticing AND for pointing it out so loudly." Big sis has recently lost some weight, but still weighs at least double what I do.

after that, the conversation went downhill.

[Ebdim9th]

Ive been on both sides of an equation. Saw a friend I hadn't seen in awhile, figured she'd gained weight and wasn't pregnant and wisely said nothing, the next time, saw another friend, assumed that she was pregnant, and blurted it out. Same person, two different ends of the pendulum swing.

[Born In Sin]

I was at the gas station the other day and I paid at the pump but had to go in the purchase something else and the lady behind the counter asked if I needed gas. I told her I paid at the pump and she asked outside?

[arista]

I adopt the policy that I absolutely do not comment if anyone is pregnant unless they acknowledge that they are expecting..best thing for me at least.

[Walter Oobleck]

"What is the efficacy of banning these magazine clips? I will tell you. These are ammunition, they're bullets, so the people who have these now, they're going to shoot them, so if you ban them in the future, the number of these high-capacity magazines is going to decrease dramatically over time because the bullets will have been shot and there won't be any more available."
--U.S. Rep. Diana DeGette (D-Colorado)

focking idiot! She's been introducing bills in Congress to ban magazines since 1997; by now she might have learned at least something about them.
Be afraid...be very afraid. I suspect Ms DeGette will spend a lifetime in Congress. We get exactly the kind of government we deserve.

Cue Schultz...http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.5061486802501775&pid=15.1

[king family fan]

Can I pay you back when I get my taxes.

[GNTLGNT]

...asked of anybody that's wearing a cast or a sling..."You get hurt???"....yep, that makes the questioner officially to stupid to live...