Don't You Hate It When...

[fljoe0]

You step in water after you put your socks on

You slice your tongue licking an envelope

You find that important receipt you were looking for. It is in an unopenable little compact ball in the clothes dryer.

You set your alarm for pm instead of am

You discover a piece of parsley on your front teeth after you've talked with several people.

You realize you stepped in dog poop outside after you've already walked across your living room floor.

You're yelling and giving rude gestures at at the driver in front of you because he is sitting at a green light - then you realize he was sitting there because an emergency vehicle is coming through the intersection.

[Moderator]

:y::biggrin2:

[Shasta]

Yes. Yes I do.

[blunthead]

DUHW the driver in front of you where you need to turn left isn't moving despite the light's green because they've got a cell phone glued to heir head?!

[fushingfeef]

DYHIW...

You get in a line at the bank/grocery store, and that line immediately stops moving while the other lines now move quickly.

The vending machine keeps rejecting your dollar bill, no matter how flat you make it.

You didn't eat any junk food...but you still gained weight somehow.

You get water on your clothes while washing your hands in the bathroom, so now everyone thinks you peed on yourself.

You finally get all your chores done for the evening and you settle into the couch...then the phone rings.

You click on an iffy-looking website/photo on the internet and then your computer freezes...and then your boss decides this is a great time to drop by.

You see a parking spot in the other row, but by the time you get there, another car has beaten you to it.

You shovel the snow...and an hour later, it needs shoveled again.

[Todash]

I have done all those things except the last one. Yes. Yes I do hate them. I also hate:

BODILY FUNCTION WARNING: Sitting down on the toilet and remembering, just a split second after you've started to pee, that you used up the last of the TP within reach the last time and had intended to put more on the roll, but forgot.

Getting to the checkout after a long grocery shopping jaunt, gotten to where it's JUST about your turn, and realizing you forgot one thing you absolutely must have.

Wearing your shirt inside out and backward all day, and no one says a thing (until your husband mentions it after work).

Remembering it's trash day only when you hear the truck pulling away.

I have done all those things in just the past few weeks.

[tmac61]

You mistakenly put Preparation H on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste. This actually happened to me back in my younger, drunken days. .

[blunthead]

DUHW you tell the Feds they got the wrong guy and you're wrong?

[Todash]

DUHW you tell the Feds they got the wrong guy and you're wrong?
That ... has never happened to me. :eek2: But I'm sure I would hate it.

[staropeace]

When you use that little key to open a can of bully beef but the thin strip you are trying to remove breaks in your hand.
When you try to open a safe-proof bottle of pills and the buggering cap will not open..no way.
When the flashing ped light stops when you reach the curb....always.
When you buy green peppers and there are all these little sticky labels on them.

[fljoe0]

You make a doctors appointment and have to explain to the receptionist what is wrong with you

[LongTallSally]

When you answer the cell phone and fumble, accidentally hanging up as you say hello because you hit a button.
When you drop the soap in a small shower and have to turn into a pretzel just to pick it up again.
When the wrong words come out of your mouth when you're trying to act like everything's cool.

[blunthead]

You make a doctors appointment and have to explain to the receptionist what is wrong with you...which you can't avoid doing because of the obvious weeping sores.

[Shasta]

You make a doctors appointment and have to explain to the receptionist what is wrong with you

Hm. That one actually doesn't bother me. Isn't that what they're there for?

[Todash]

Hm. That one actually doesn't bother me. Isn't that what they're there for?

Me either. They've heard it all. Sometimes I wonder if it would be a kindness to come up with something exciting for them, but then the doctor might be confused when I talk to him about something entirely different.

[king family fan]

someone moves your king books when you are playing SKT.

[fljoe0]

I forgot the "if it's something embarrassing" part:grinning:

[GNTLGNT]

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their can to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". Life is the longest dang thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, genius?

via : Laugh IT Out: Don't You Hate When People Do These Things

[nate_watkins]

You work with people who can't do their jobs, so you gotta do it for them...

[Chuggs]

When you buy a coke from a machine and it was not perforated correctly, so you have to break out the tools to open it
When you have a zit on your lip or on your nose
When your cat knocks your Christmas ornaments off of the tree...over and over again!
When you buy your dog a new sweater and out it on him, only to have be chewed up within the hour!

[not_nadine]

Hm. That one actually doesn't bother me. Isn't that what they're there for?

Bothered me when I had to bring a sperm sample and keep it warm and tell them exactly how long ago it was "gathered"

[mjs9153]

you finally get that bear trap set,ready to spring,you're kneeling down to place it just so,and you realize the grizzly's breath is curling the hairs on the back of your neck..:eek2: two days later,the grizzly has a lampshade made of your keister on the wall of his cave..:)

[Evil Queen]

:rofl::rofl:I'm so sorry, I couldn't help but laugh!!!!!!!! I've done all those except the last one..how embarrassing!!

[Todash]

When you have a zit on your lip or on your nose

AAHHHH!!! AHHH!!! AAHHHHH!!! Just thinking about that makes my eyes water. I hate it SO much. Honorable mention: zit IN your eyebrow. It's nearly as bad.

[Evil Queen]

ha!ha!..I was laughing at fljoe's very first post! I haven't done ALL the things everyone else has been posting. :D

[Todash]

2. People who are willing to get off their can to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

Guilty. :down: I have no idea how to change the channel on my TV manually. Every time I try I screw something up. It's better that I just find the stupid remote.

[blunthead]

...People who are willing to get off their can to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. That's like failing to vacuum up the paperclip, picking it up, then putting it back on the floor to try to vacuum it up.

[Shasta]

Bothered me when I had to bring a sperm sample and keep it warm and tell them exactly how long ago it was "gathered"

Still don't think it would have bothered me. But I was born without the embarrassment gene. I can only remember being embarrassed once or tiwce in my life and both times it had to do with other people's manners.

I promise, anything you tell a receptionsist at a doctor won't be anything they haven't heard a million times or will be something they hear a million times!

[fushingfeef]

Bothered me when I had to bring a sperm sample and keep it warm and tell them exactly how long ago it was "gathered"

Hey, at least you weren't sent to the "lonely happy room" to produce one!

[not_nadine]

:eek2: I'd still be there. Saw the ex go in though. :laugh:

[fljoe0]

you run into someone who knows you and you don't have a clue who they are

when shoes seem to fit perfectly at the store where you buy them and then seem to tight when you get them home

when someone speaks to you and you answer them only to find out they were talking to the person behind you

when you are driving and have to use the bathroom immediately and you are still a few miles from home. Then you hit every single red light on the way.

[king family fan]

Your world crumbles before your very eyes.

[Shasta]

you run into someone who knows you and you don't have a clue who they are



This happens to me a lot and I absolutely absolutely absolutely hate it.

[blunthead]

This happens to me a lot and I absolutely absolutely absolutely hate it.
This is why people should be required to wear nametags.

[Todash]

This happens to me a lot and I absolutely absolutely absolutely hate it.

Same here. And it often turns out to be someone I worked with years ago or something who seems to remember everything about me. I feel like such a heel when that happens.

[blunthead]

Same here. And it often turns out to be someone I worked with years ago or something who seems to remember everything about me. I feel like such a heel when that happens.
So, your coworkers often think you're a heel? I think it admirable you admit it publicly. :grinning:

[Shasta]

My poor grandfather is blind and 86 and he says it's so difficult because people will just walk up to him and say, "Hey Howard, it's Mike" or whatever. He's so funny because he'll say to me, "Oh. Okay. Hey Mike. Good old Mike." While in his head he's thinking that there are eight million Mikes in the world. (His portrayal of it is much funnier than my typing.)

[Todash]

So, your coworkers often think you're a heel? I think it admirable you admit it publicly. :grinning:
LOL ... No, that's the awful part. They are always so enthused to see me. Genuinely happy. And about half the time, I'm scrambling because I have not a clue who I'm talking to. I guess I am ... memorable? Most of the time I can fake my way through until they say something that triggers a memory, though. I like it better when someone says, "Hey, didn't I work with you at <X>?" And since they're not sure, it's okay for me not to be sure. But when they remember who I am and my husband's name and my hobbies and all that and all I get is a vague sense of familiarity, I feel like a wretched excuse for a human being.

[Todash]

Okay, not half the time. But maybe a quarter.

[blunthead]

?..But when they remember who I am and my husband's name and my hobbies and all that and all I get is a vague sense of familiarity, I feel like a wretched excuse for a human being.
Are you a wretched excuse for a human being? If not we can proceed. I think honesty is the best policy. Some of us simply suck at remembering individuals' names, but what's in a name anyway? For instance, if you meet someone named Sally, who ends up one of your alltime favorite people, yet because her (or his) name is common you can't recall it, does this mean you must avoid her (or him) in order not to offend? Likewise, say you meet someone named Lon Chaney Jr does that mean since the name is memorable the only people you can hang with are werewolves? I say no! Be honest. Tell them, "Who the hell are you people and who invited you to this party?!". People will respect your honesty, if not your lack of composure.

[atomicinchworm]

The problem is that Todash knows EVERYBODY. And everybody she's ever met remembers her.

Like it's creepy the coincidences that pop up between people I know, and people she knows. o.O

[fushingfeef]

Todash, it happens to me a lot too...my wife says I'm memorable because I'm so good lookin'!

Don't you hate it when...

You see a very low priced item at the grocery store, but everything has sold out?

Brand-new cars seem to attract dents?

You have clogged sinuses and can't breathe?

[Todash]

Are you a wretched excuse for a human being? If not we can proceed. I think honesty is the best policy. Some of us simply suck at remembering individuals' names, but what's in a name anyway? For instance, if you meet someone named Sally, who ends up one of your alltime favorite people, yet because her (or his) name is common you can't recall it, does this mean you must avoid her (or him) in order not to offend? Likewise, say you meet someone named Lon Chaney Jr does that mean since the name is memorable the only people you can hang with are werewolves? I say no! Be honest. Tell them, "Who the hell are you people and who invited you to this party?!". People will respect your honesty, if not your lack of composure.
Would it be wrong to claim a recent head injury as reason for my forgetfulness, do you think?

[blunthead]

Would it be wrong to claim a recent head injury as reason for my forgetfulness, do you think?

Whatever it takes to get them to tell you their name so you can add it to the photo of them you took when they walked up to you. I just tell them I don't remember their name (notice I don't have to say that I don't remember them themselves, just their names). In my case they can look at me and understand.

[GNTLGNT]

...Don't you hate it when the elevator stops on every single floor, but nobody gets on...

[kingricefan]

When shoppers walk up to me while LOOKING at my name badge and ask 'Do you work here?' Um, no, I don't, I just put on this silly little apron and tacky name badge with someone else's name on it and walk around here putting items on the shelf. Duh!

[Todash]

Whatever it takes to get them to tell you their name so you can add it to the photo of them you took when they walked up to you. I just tell them I don't remember their name (notice I don't have to say that I don't remember them themselves, just their names). In my case they can look at me and understand.
Hmm ... I see. You are a tricksy thing, aren't you?

[blunthead]

DUHW you don't buy something you want despite having the money then for the rest of your life regret not buying it?

[GNTLGNT]

DUHW you don't buy something you want despite having the money then for the rest of your life regret not buying it?

...yes, but I consider it a blessing that you passed on the zebra striped thong...

[Shasta]

When shoppers walk up to me while LOOKING at my name badge and ask 'Do you work here?' Um, no, I don't, I just put on this silly little apron and tacky name badge with someone else's name on it and walk around here putting items on the shelf. Duh!

On the other hand.....

Don't you hate it when you walk up to the guy at Target wearing khaki pants and a red shirt and ask a question? And he says, "Yeah... I don't work here."

Happened to me twice. And I don't know what I hate more - that I didn't know or that someone thought it was a good idea to wear khaki pants and a red shirt to Target.

[jacobtlong]

Don't you hate it when that brand new DVD you bought is scratched?

Don't you hate when the football team you hate the most gets dished the easiest schedule by the NFL while your team has to play all the real tough guys?

Don't you hate those "one size fits all" baseball caps that aren't adjustable?

Don't you hate it when can't decide what movie you want to watch and end up not watching anything?

Don't you hate it when you are trying to watch a football, get hit by the sudden urge to use the bathroom, and actually debate with yourself whether you can hold it in until halftime?

[GNTLGNT]

Don't you hate it when you are trying to watch a football, get hit by the sudden urge to use the bathroom, and actually debate with yourself whether you can hold it in until halftime?

...and after you given up the debate, and scramble to the bathroom-you miss THE play of the weekend!....

[blunthead]

...and after you given up the debate, and scramble to the bathroom-you miss THE play of the weekend!....Sh!t happens.

[GNTLGNT]

Sh!t happens.

...especially when you're Browns fan....:down:

[fljoe0]

...especially when you're Browns fan....:down:

That's why the Browns picked that color for their helmets:biggrin2:

[blunthead]

That's why the Browns picked that color for their helmets:biggrin2:And the helmut has no logo as it would've been disgusting.

[PatInTheHat]

...especially when you're Browns fan....:down:
:oo:
As a fellow AFC North, and a die hard (oh lord is it ever:oops:) Cincinnati Bengal fan, let me assure you I know just how much courage, not to mention personal intestinal fortitude, it took to make such a stunning public confession:laugh:.

[GNTLGNT]

:oo:
As a fellow AFC North, and a die hard (oh lord is it ever:oops:) Cincinnati Bengal fan, let me assure you I know just how much courage, not to mention personal intestinal fortitude, it took to make such a stunning public confession:laugh:.

...thanks!...I thunk....:umm:

[danie]

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
I usually don't laugh really hard at something's someone's written, but I did at this one! Thanks, GNTL!

[danie]

when someone speaks to you and you answer them only to find out they were talking to the person behind you
Watch this video to see some college kids doing that with high-fives. It's soooooo hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd3NBSf4_GE

[staropeace]

I hate it when I buy expensive Christmas lights and the buggers do not work....then I return them to the store but they no longer have anymore in that color.

[arista]

I hate when people hang the Christmas lights and then leave them up all year.
I hate when whatever line I am in is the one that the lady has to have a price check.
I hate it when people allow fruit cake to be another staple of Christmas. :biggrin2:

[staropeace]

You sleepily go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and some jerk with gonads kept up to toilet seat.

[Mojo*mofo]

DUHW it's your one day of the week to sleep in, and either a pet or a child decides you actually need to be up right this minute.

DUHW you're washing an outfit you need for the same day, and the idiotic dryer decides to do a half-assed job.

[fljoe0]

You sleepily go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and some jerk with gonads kept up to toilet seat.

Or the opposite for the guys:

You sleepily go to the bathroom in the middle of the night thinking the lid is up and you pee on the lid.:eek2:

[staropeace]

Yeah but Joe you do not have to feel your bum sink down .....oh the agony.

[GNTLGNT]

Or the opposite for the guys:

You sleepily go to the bathroom in the middle of the night thinking the lid is up and you pee on the lid.:eek2:

...OR, you sleepily roll over and SHOULD have gotten up.....:blush:

[Shasta]

When you have to warm yourself in your office with a candle because the heater just does not work??

I feel like Bob Cratchit.

[blunthead]

...yes, but I consider it a blessing that you passed on the zebra striped thong...
Yer cruel. You know how much I regret that decision.

[JellybeanJay]

DUHW when the sock gnome steals your sock mates out of the dryer!

[if-so-Grrl]

It's a gnome? I thought the damned things were sneaking off into another dimension...

And I DO hate that!

[GNTLGNT]

Yer cruel. You know how much I regret that decision.

...but it DID get you a patent as the inventor of the "water bed"....wokka, wokka, wokka...

[fljoe0]

When your paper towels will never tear on the perforations.

When you have the select-a-size paper towels and you can either tear off a half sheet or a sheet and a half but never the one sheet size that you want.

[Neesy]

Or the opposite for the guys:

You sleepily go to the bathroom in the middle of the night thinking the lid is up and you pee on the lid.:eek2:

Ewwwww

[kingricefan]

When your paper towels will never tear on the perforations.

When you have the select-a-size paper towels and you can either tear off a half sheet or a sheet and a half but never the one sheet size that you want.

This usually happens to me with toilet paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad: Or the paper thingy that you place on the toilet seat before you sit down that always tears in the wrong spot!!!