Fifty Shades of Grey?

[cat in a bag]

It seems every time I turn around I'm hearing something about this trilogy of books by E L James. I didn't think they sounded like my cup of tea, but they seem to be so popular right now.

This was copied and pasted from Amazon, it gives a little blurb about each book:

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: When college student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly Ana realizes she wants this man, and Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian’s secrets and explores her own desires.

FIFTY SHADES DARKER: Daunted by Christian’s dark secrets and singular tastes, Ana has broken off their relationship to start a new career. But desire for Christian still dominates her every waking thought. They rekindle their searing sensual affair, and while Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Ana is forced to make the most important decision of her life.

FIFTY SHADES FREED: Now, Ana and Christian have it all—love, passion, intimacy, wealth, and a world of possibilities for their future. But Ana knows that loving her Fifty Shades will not be easy, and that being together will pose challenges that neither of them would anticipate. Just when it seems that their strength together will eclipse any obstacle, misfortune, malice, and fate conspire to turn Ana’s deepest fears into reality.


​Has anyone here read them? What did you think?

[momone53]

I read them and I gotta say they are hot, hot, hot. Not well written and all three can be read at a pretty fast clip. It does give an interesting look into the world of BDSM and it's fairly accurate about that point (I won't tell ya'll how I happen to know that).

And may you have twice the number

[not_nadine]

I have heard the described as "Twilight for Housewives" with bondage. :glare:

[momone53]

Actully, I think it started out as twilight fanfiction then it went to self-publishing for e-readers. It was so popular that she got a real publishing contract and just sold the rights to Universal for 5 million. I don't know how they'd ever make it a movie though unless it was rated NC-17, R just won't do it.

[Sigmund]

Hey, Cat!

I have not read them but I have read about them.

BDSM and romance don't go together in my mind. The pathology sounds interesting, though.
I have read a lot of furor coming from the feminist side.

Peace.

[Dana Jean]

I would rather read Fifty Shades of Good-God-Put-That-Thing-Away-I'm-Watching-Columbo.

Much better.

[GNTLGNT]

I would rather read Fifty Shades of Good-God-Put-That-Thing-Away-I'm-Watching-Columbo.

Much better.

...:rofl:...then Matlock...hell I thought it was about my hair color, or the look of that chunk of cheese at the rear of the fridge I keep forgetting to toss into the trash...

[Connie Reader]

OH my god, every one of my friends save two are reading or have read this series. I have written my fair share of erotica and read a lot as well but I have no interest in reading this book, probably because everyone is telling me I "have to!"
No I don't. And no one can make me! :biggrin2:

[CCAL]

I'd rather seek the dark side of things-the horror-the HORROR!! romance is for others-take it & enjoy. not for me.

[rosie_red]

I have heard the same thing. But I'm not even thinking about reading it. Not my thing.

[opeth]

I have a very strong feeling this author will soon be sued for plagiarism. If not by Stephenie Meyer, then by someone else she has borrowed from and not acknowledged. Although I hate Stephenie Meyer's writing, I actually felt sorry for her when I found out how E.L. James came to write her book. It was originally Twilight fan fiction, but she has since changed the names of the main characters. When you read James' book, it's like deja-vu. There's something malicious about that--profiting from someone's else's ideas and hard work. It's unethical and just plain wrong.

[Mojo*mofo]

I would rather read Fifty Shades of Good-God-Put-That-Thing-Away-I'm-Watching-Columbo.

Much better.


Shoot, that's a Tuesday night around here! :laugh:

[JellybeanJay]

I really don't have any interest in reading this trilogy because reading explicit sex scenes really makes me uncomfortable :blush:

[cat in a bag]

I'm not going to try them...I just wondered if there was more to them than the sex, but it doesn't sound like it!

[popsqueak]

Lol Me and my mom went and giggled like we were fourteen in the bookstore. We went to the back of the shop with the book and were flicking through the pages! Had a look now... wont be buying or reading no more if it, even sneakly:blush: hahaha

[Cthulhu]

Have not, and will not read. Basically soft core porn or writing like the Harlequin Romance Novels my grandma reads from what I have been told. Everyone is reading these though. The writer is cleaning up for sure $$$

[SharonC]

I haven't read these, nor do I intend to - not my cup of tea. I never cared for that sort of "literature". From what I've heard, it does sound like there's not much of a story other than an obsessive sex thing.

[MadamMack]

I have heard the described as "Twilight for Housewives" with bondage. :glare:

I zipped through them. Didn't like them at all.

[JoaKing]

Funny or Die did a parody of '50 Shades' with Selena Gomez. It makes me want to read the book.

http://thecelebritycafe.com/feature/2012/05/selena-gomez-stars-fifty-shades-grey-parody-fifty-shades-blue-video

[Patricia A]

All I can say with my twitchingly trembling lips is YUCH, BLECH, BLARG.

[Patricia A]

I'll admit to not having read them but I did read an excerpt, it was written like snot. Then I read the Amazon reviews, both good and bad then decided it wasn't going to be something I want to read.
I don't know why a badly written book that hits the big time gets under my skin but it does. I am irrationally offended by these books LOL!
If you want to read some well written erotica read Anne Rice's The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy.

[cat in a bag]

I don't know why a badly written book that hits the big time gets under my skin but it does. I am irrationally offended by these books LOL!


I completely understand what you are saying! Here is a news clip about libraries deciding whether or not to have the books on their shelves.


http://video.msnbc.msn.com/nightly-news/47543142/#47543142

I was offended by the "housewives" in that clip...really? In a bar? Maybe the housewives of whatever city tv shows. Not this housewife! :laugh:

Anyway, what is everyone's opinion about libraries having the books on the shelves? I don't think banning the books is the right way to go...if you don't want to read them, no one is going to make you. Just walk on past them. But, maybe they should make sure they are only being checked out by adults.

[~Ally~]

I'll admit to not having read them but I did read an excerpt, it was written like snot. Then I read the Amazon reviews, both good and bad then decided it wasn't going to be something I want to read.
I don't know why a badly written book that hits the big time gets under my skin but it does. I am irrationally offended by these books LOL!

I feel exactly the same way as you but admit I am tempted to download the first book just to see what all the fuss is about. Most of my friends are reading these books. My best friend mentioned yesterday she is reading the second book and was ashamed to tell me because she knows I will hate the writing and pull it apart! However, I can't do that unless I actually attempt to read it...arrggghhhh, it's a conundrum! What should I do folks, attempt to read it, yay or nay?

[AnnaMarie]

My son's girlfriend offered to loan them to me. Probably won't get them for about a month (we live in different cities.)

[do1you9love?]

I feel exactly the same way as you but admit I am tempted to download the first book just to see what all the fuss is about. Most of my friends are reading these books. My best friend mentioned yesterday she is reading the second book and was ashamed to tell me because she knows I will hate the writing and pull it apart! However, I can't do that unless I actually attempt to read it...arrggghhhh, it's a conundrum! What should I do folks, attempt to read it, yay or nay?

You are thinking about reading this, even though you know that it will be torture! That's what the folks in the book are into, right? :eyebrow:

[~Ally~]

You are thinking about reading this, even though you know that it will be torture! That's what the folks in the book are into, right? :eyebrow:

Ayuh. I'd feel like a hypocrite if I was to simply dismiss the books because of the opinions of others. And sometimes I enjoy reading a bit of fluff. At least if I attempt to read it, then hate it, I can truthfully say I judged it for myself. Really it's a similar notion to people here disliking when newbies post with they hate this or that about King but didn't read or finish the book. I can't critique something unless I've tried it.

[Bryan James]

From blurbs I've read, they do not appeal to me.

Just not my cup of pee.

[~Ally~]

Rah~rah~ooh~la~la...I just downloaded it to my Kindle, it cost roughly $4 so can't complain.
I'll be back to let y'all know what I think later. :eyebrow:

[Shasta]

It's not fluff, Ally, it's porn! You know I wouldn't lie to you.

But I must admit I did read all three.

[~Ally~]

Just not my cup of pee.

Speaking of cups of pee--seriously--people in the crowd at the Chili's concert last night were filling their empty beer cups with pee, then throwing them. Filthy bastids. And yup, I did get hit by some. It bloody stank as well. Urrggghhhh!

[~Ally~]

It's not fluff, Ally, it's porn! You know I wouldn't lie to you.

But I must admit I did read all three.

Opinions please, me wee bonny lassie. :love:

[cat in a bag]

I have to say Ally, I am really anxious to hear what you think!!

[Shasta]

Ally,

I didn't like it all that much. I enjoyed the first book enough that I wanted to read the other two but by the time I was done with the third I wanted to shoot the book. Seriously. It clearly just went on to make money. It easilty could have stopped after 100 or so pages into the second book. And I REALLY could have done without all of the seriously hardcore stuff. The relationships needed to be more developed and less sex. And what REALLY drove me nuts was that they kept acting like adults aged 21 and 27 were YEARS apart. Drove me crazy.

I'm going to tell you what I've been saying over and over again. Let it go and read "Shades of Grey" by Jasper Fforde!!!

[Todash]

It seems every time I turn around I'm hearing something about this trilogy of books by E L James. I didn't think they sounded like my cup of tea, but they seem to be so popular right now.

This was copied and pasted from Amazon, it gives a little blurb about each book:

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: When college student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly Ana realizes she wants this man, and Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian’s secrets and explores her own desires.



I was considering it ... but "Anastasia Steele" and "Christian Grey"? REALLY? Dear sweet crackly pan-fried mother of pearl onions, those are some of the most horrible ooh-I-know-what-a-great-character-name-would-be character names I've seen in a while.

I absolutely will not be reading this series.

[~Ally~]

Cheers Shasta, me dear. I don't think I'm going to get very far, I haven't even finished "one percent" of the Kindle version yet and I shut it down, ha. Felt like I was spying into a teen's diary, and when I read the word "Wow" as a complete sentence me head very nearly asploded! I will try again later.

[~Ally~]

Anyhoo, I don't mind a bit of porn...I'm a grown lassie! :wink2:

[do1you9love?]

Ayuh. I'd feel like a hypocrite if I was to simply dismiss the books because of the opinions of others. And sometimes I enjoy reading a bit of fluff. At least if I attempt to read it, then hate it, I can truthfully say I judged it for myself. Really it's a similar notion to people here disliking when newbies post with they hate this or that about King but didn't read or finish the book. I can't critique something unless I've tried it.

Oh, I completely understood your reasons. Will look forward to your review! :cool2:

[Shasta]

Anyhoo, I don't mind a bit of porn...I'm a grown lassie! :wink2:

I turn bright, bright, BRIGHT red with anything sex related. I'm such a prude!!!

[~Ally~]

I turn bright, bright, BRIGHT red with anything sex related. I'm such a prude!!!

Hmm, I really dunno why I bought it now, cos I can't even read King write about badgunkysex...but I always figured that was just because it's him writing. Guess I will soon find out! :eek2:

[ghost19]

I was considering it ... but "Anastasia Steele" and "Christian Grey"? REALLY? Dear sweet crackly pan-fried mother of pearl onions, those are some of the most horrible ooh-I-know-what-a-great-character-name-would-be character names I've seen in a while.

I absolutely will not be reading this series.

How about "Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorn"?.....Wait a minute...those are already used in another bad trilogy...sorry:)

[JellybeanJay]

Sex in books makes me really uncomfortable so I really can't see myself reading this series

[Bryan James]

Everyone has to be soooo creative with names these days. Pretty soon we're gonna have a "Monseigneur Penisface Boobhole Jones" as a protagonist in a raunchy action thriller....starring Tom Hanks.

[Beep-Beep]

No intention of reading them, but seems everywhere I look somebody is - thought there was going to be a cat fight in the bookstore last weekend over the last copy they had in stock (which may have been appropriate!!??) - From what I hear they are racey, but little else

[Bryan James]

Peeple is tarded.

[Mojo*mofo]

A young (19) coworker of mine picked up the books because of all the hoopla. She was flipping through it prior to reading it, and found a shopping list for um, toys. She is soooo not the kind of person that has any exposure to that kind of thing. Her face when she told me about it was priceless- it was a combination of embarrassment, curiosity, shock and nervous excitement. Then she kinda whispered "I can't wait to find out what I've got myself into", and I knew she'd be fine. :laugh:

[Todash]

How about "Katniss Everdeen and Gale Hawthorn"?.....Wait a minute...those are already used in another bad trilogy...sorry:)

Ha ... Can't speak to that as I haven't read that one. But those don't fall under my personal "bad names" umbrella. They are skewed enough to suggest that the world in which Hunger Games takes place is a slightly different one, but they don't seem overly self-conscious. "Anastasia Steele" and "Christian Grey" are very fanfic/bodice ripper-y. Like ... what I would expect a 13-year-old to pick as future boy and girl names, written in big loopy writing, with hearts dotting each i. And really. "Grey" and "Steele"? I see what you did there, author, though I wish I didn't.

[AnnaMarie]

That kind of makes sense though Todash. These books apparently started as a fanfic on a forum.

Kind of amazing that from a forum they've developed into such a phenom.

[Todash]

That kind of makes sense though Todash. These books apparently started as a fanfic on a forum.

Kind of amazing that from a forum they've developed into such a phenom.
Ooohhhhh ... I did not know that. That does make complete sense, then.

[Shasta]

That kind of makes sense though Todash. These books apparently started as a fanfic on a forum.

Kind of amazing that from a forum they've developed into such a phenom.

I've read that but I am wondering what fan forum they came from. We definitely don't have those kinds of discussions in this fan forum. Or maybe we do and I'm just not invited.....

Hey - maybe my next career should be writing fan fiction for SK. Like Charlie from Firestarter and Jake from DT hook up. (Ack. I shudder at the thought of the entire thing.)

[Bryan James]

"I've read that but I am wondering what fan forum they came from..."

From what I recall (from the basic, inescapable morning "news" blurbs) the book(s) in question spawned from the Twilight/Meyer website boards.

[AnnaMarie]

Yes, a Twilight fan forum. But, unlike most fanfics, she didn't use the characters from the book. If she had, she would not be allowed to sell them.

I'm not on any twilight forums. I looked it up on wiki....so how accurate it is ???

But I was on a forum for Clan of the Cave Bear, and some of the fanfics there are great.

[Shasta]

"I've read that but I am wondering what fan forum they came from..."

From what I recall (from the basic, inescapable morning "news" blurbs) the book(s) in question spawned from the Twilight/Meyer website boards.

It looks like you are correct:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2012/05/the-origins-of-50-shades-of-grey-go-missing.html

Please note that EL James calls her characters "iconic." HA!!

(Okay, I know I shouldn't laugh at one's creative work and I know everyone has different worlds views. [But come on! ICONIC?!?])

[~Ally~]

Peeple is tarded.

:glare:
Oi Mr Man, I ain't tarded...just special. Very, very, special! :tongue:

[Todash]

It looks like you are correct:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2012/05/the-origins-of-50-shades-of-grey-go-missing.html (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Flatimesblogs.latim es.com%2Fjacketcopy%2F2012%2F05%2Fthe-origins-of-50-shades-of-grey-go-missing.html)

Please note that EL James calls her characters "iconic." HA!!

(Okay, I know I shouldn't laugh at one's creative work and I know everyone has different worlds views. [But come on! ICONIC?!?])

If you paint a target like that on yourself, you can't be too surprised when someone points an arrow in your direction. Iconic. Tee hee.

[Shasta]

If you paint a target like that on yourself, you can't be too surprised when someone points an arrow in your direction. Iconic. Tee hee.

Right? RIGHT!?! Thank you for making me feel less like a jerk, Todash.

[Bryan James]

Iconic?

She might have meant iconoclastic.

Fun either way.

[Patricia A]

I feel exactly the same way as you but admit I am tempted to download the first book just to see what all the fuss is about. Most of my friends are reading these books. My best friend mentioned yesterday she is reading the second book and was ashamed to tell me because she knows I will hate the writing and pull it apart! However, I can't do that unless I actually attempt to read it...arrggghhhh, it's a conundrum! What should I do folks, attempt to read it, yay or nay?

You should go ahead and read it. I would if I wasn't so old and had time to read everything LOL!

[Bryan James]

Iconoclastic, erotoplastic, abused females fabulastic,
Make the money, get the dough, Sell out all you want, you know,
Filthy tarts, dogs with fleas, you do not have enough knees,

Bleh. Gave up on the instant poetry attempt, but it was off to a decent start.

Couldn't think of any good rhyme with "Rihanna."

[Patricia A]

:glare:
Oi Mr Man, I ain't tarded...just special. Very, very, special! :tongue:
And wery pert. :biggrin2:

So things happen when you post before you've read the whole thread. I still can't read it myself. The sample I read was... not to my taste shall we say. Seeing as how I shan't be reading it I'll keep my critiques to myself.. other than to say. GAAAK OH MY EYES! MY POOR EYES AND BRAINS.

Anastasia Grey or Steel whatever? Really? Was O. Mylanta Face-Palm the name of the imaginary editor?

I never got into the Twilight stuff so I am not a target audience to begin with so....
I am sitting here judging her, and she is laughing at me all the way to the bank.

[JellybeanJay]

Everyone has to be soooo creative with names these days. Pretty soon we're gonna have a "Monseigneur Penisface Boobhole Jones" as a protagonist in a raunchy action thriller....starring Tom Hanks.

:rofl:

[~Ally~]

You should go ahead and read it. I would if I wasn't so old and had time to read everything LOL!

Ahh but time is precious, my pretty, especially when there's so many good books in the world to read. Okay, I am heading in now for a second attempt, see if I can overcome the instant distaste I felt at the word "wow"...I have no doubt I shall be back soon! :biggrin2:

[Todash]

Iconoclastic, erotoplastic, abused females fabulastic,
Make the money, get the dough, Sell out all you want, you know,
Filthy tarts, dogs with fleas, you do not have enough knees,

Bleh. Gave up on the instant poetry attempt, but it was off to a decent start.

Couldn't think of any good rhyme with "Rihanna."

Piana. Old-timey pronunciation of piano.

You're welcome. Pray continue.

[Patricia A]

Iconoclastic, erotoplastic, abused females fabulastic,
Make the money, get the dough, Sell out all you want, you know,
Filthy tarts, dogs with fleas, you do not have enough knees,

Bleh. Gave up on the instant poetry attempt, but it was off to a decent start.

Couldn't think of any good rhyme with "Rihanna."

Banana?

[~Ally~]

Piana. Old-timey pronunciation of piano.

Yar, I'm surprised he didn't see that one. It was the obvious word that sprang to my mind also.

[Todash]

So things happen when you post before you've read the whole thread. I still can't read it myself. The sample I read was... not to my taste shall we say. Seeing as how I shan't be reading it I'll keep my critiques to myself.. other than to say. GAAAK OH MY EYES! MY POOR EYES AND BRAINS.
Hmm ... okay. Since you looked, so shall I.

Checking out an excerpt now. The first paragraph is about a bad hair day. If I picked this up in a bookstore, randomly, I'd put it back posthaste. Blah blah ... skimming ... blah blah ... nothing remotely interesting, sounds like every Harlequin romance novel I ever borrowed from my mom's bedroom as a preteen (male/female power imbalance fully in play) ... skim through to chapter 5, still nothing interesting. Awkward, stilted writing. Back to Google to find another excerpt that at least contains some naughty bits. Because that's the whole point, right?

Well, hellllooo nurse. What an awful lot of hair-pulling and oily spanking we've got here. Still, I'm not getting what the fuss is about. It seems like a spicier version of a paint-by-numbers romance novel. That is, exactly like Twilight, except with more sexytimes and less sparkling.

[ghost19]

Hmm ... okay. Since you looked, so shall I.

Checking out an excerpt now. The first paragraph is about a bad hair day. If I picked this up in a bookstore, randomly, I'd put it back posthaste. Blah blah ... skimming ... blah blah ... nothing remotely interesting, sounds like every Harlequin romance novel I ever borrowed from my mom's bedroom as a preteen (male/female power imbalance fully in play) ... skim through to chapter 5, still nothing interesting. Awkward, stilted writing. Back to Google to find another excerpt that at least contains some naughty bits. Because that's the whole point, right?

Well, hellllooo nurse. What an awful lot of hair-pulling and oily spanking we've got here. Still, I'm not getting what the fuss is about. It seems like a spicier version of a paint-by-numbers romance novel. That is, exactly like Twilight, except with more sexytimes and less sparkling.

How about shirtless werewolves? That's a pre-requistite for a best seller nowadays isn't it? Maybe shirtless werewolves with $500 hair cuts? 50 SHADES OF BLEK!!!!!!!!:)

[Patricia A]

Here's my Ode to Filthy Shades of Grey

If I read this whole book
I think I would die
Or take a big needle
and poke out my eye

[~Ally~]

Okay, I've tried and gave up. I can't handle the torture any longer, and I haven't even reached the porno bits yet! :sad: I've persevered to the end of chapter two, and I'm officially done. The writing is atrocious, and extremely repetitive...awful! At least I gave it a shot, though. :y: Bleuurrgghhh!

[cat in a bag]

Here's my Ode to Filthy Shades of Grey

If I read this whole book
I think I would die
Or take a big needle
and poke out my eye


:rofl:

[Shasta]

Ahh but time is precious, my pretty, especially when there's so many good books in the world to read. Okay, I am heading in now for a second attempt, see if I can overcome the instant distaste I felt at the word "wow"...I have no doubt I shall be back soon! :biggrin2:

There's a whole lot of "oh my gosh" too.

I don't think if someone approached me with various clamps for my anatomy and told me to call them "Master" that my first thought would be "Oh my gosh!"

[Shasta]

This thread has gotten seriously awesome.

[Todash]

Okay, I've tried and gave up. I can't handle the torture any longer, and I haven't even reached the porno bits yet! :sad: I've persevered to the end of chapter two, and I'm officially done. The writing is atrocious, and extremely repetitive...awful! At least I gave it a shot, though. :y: Bleuurrgghhh!
I found some of the naughty parts (of the book) online. You could try that. It wasn't initially rewarding, but I then I saw a comment by someone that the silver balls Christian uses can be found on Amazon. Apparently they are stainless steel and clean up real nice. Reading that one comment made the entire journey worthwhile.

[not_nadine]

7 hilarious excerpts you have to read to believe.

http://www.onlineclasses.org/2012/05/24/7-hilarious-excerpt-from-50-shades-of-grey-you-have-to-read-to-believe/

[champ1966]

15861

[Shasta]

I found some of the naughty parts (of the book) online. You could try that. It wasn't initially rewarding, but I then I saw a comment by someone that the silver balls Christian uses can be found on Amazon. Apparently they are stainless steel and clean up real nice. Reading that one comment made the entire journey worthwhile.

AHHHHHH!! I take back what I said about the awesomeness of this thread. Now I'm just scared..... :eek2:

[Todash]

AHHHHHH!! I take back what I said about the awesomeness of this thread. Now I'm just scared..... :eek2:

Count on me to take it too far. :down:

[Shasta]

7 hilarious excerpts you have to read to believe.

http://www.onlineclasses.org/2012/05/24/7-hilarious-excerpt-from-50-shades-of-grey-you-have-to-read-to-believe/

That was hilarious! But I take issue with number two. The inner gooddess parts were the only parts I liked. She would say things like (not exact quotes):

My inner goddess heard this and immediately threw on her thigh high boots and a boa.

or

My subconcious looked up from behind her "Complete Works of Charles Dickens," adjusted her glasses, and shook her head.

I seriously thought those parts were funny.

[Shasta]

Count on me to take it too far. :down:

I was just kidding. If I can handle the three books I can certainly handle this.

It's still an awesome thread!! And your little face makes me really sad.

[Shasta]

15861

I looked at this and thought "I'm not sure I understand the signifigance of this." Word-for-word. But as my mind hit the word "this" it clicked and then it laughed uproariously!

[Todash]

I was just kidding. If I can handle the three books I can certainly handle this.

It's still an awesome thread!! And your little face makes me really sad.

Sweet! Let's bring the awesome. :wow:

[randallFlaggfan1]

I would rather read Fifty Shades of Good-God-Put-That-Thing-Away-I'm-Watching-Columbo.

Much better.

:rofl: :rofl:

Hi, Catina!

I have heard about the trilogy, and I've read several reviews of 50 Shades, but I definitely will not be reading them.

[Bryan James]

Hey Dildos,
Sex is no longer sexy.
Al Bundy had it right a decade ago.

15864

[Todash]

So, truth, guys. After I read that excerpt, I thought, "I could totally do this! I used to read this crap all the time as a kid (along with the Louis L'Amour my dad liked, whatever I could scrounge from the library, encyclopedias, and cereal boxes). With a little BDSM research, I could out-50-shades 50 Shades. Like, romantic porn, but with editing and better character names and zero gollygeegoshes! I would never have to come up with a plot (my most awfullest void of talent) because they all use the same one! I GOT THIS."

Then I realized she was self-published. :down: There goes my big fat plan.

[~Ally~]

Well I picked this book back up again in the early hours of the morning. I couldn't sleep...thought it might help. :y: My friend was disappointed I stopped reading as she thinks the sex scenes are "great." Having not got that far I can't comment, so I am determined to make it to at least the first sex scene so I can read it within context of the weird little story. Lord give me strength...please.

[Todash]

LOL ... "within context" ... you crack me up. Like it matters.

[Shasta]

Then I realized she was self-published. :down: There goes my big fat plan.

Why does that kill your plan? Because she is RAKING in the dough!

[Todash]

Here, Shasta, this is for you. In case you thought I was kidding about the Amazon.com thing.



Kate R

2 Weeks Ago
My husband bought some of the silver balls that are used in the book and they are pretty amazing. If you are looking for some I would recommend these as they are surgical stainless steel and easy to clean. Check out the link below to see the listing on Amazon.

http://amzn.to/KndG3J (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2FKndG3J)

Kate Rlikes this.

[fushingfeef]

They're selling these novels in the convenience store in the lobby of my office building! Talk about going mainstream. I think I'd be a bit embarrassed to buy one of these where my co-workers might see me.

[~Ally~]

LOL ... "within context" ... you crack me up. Like it matters.

:blush: I know, it's now having a similar effect on me like car crash tv! It's already sooo bad but I want to know exactly how bad it can become, then I can feel superior to all my friends who actually like it when I keep telling them it sucks ass! <--- I wonder if they do that in the book? :devil:

[~Ally~]

Here, Shasta, this is for you. In case you thought I was kidding about the Amazon.com thing.



Kate R

2 Weeks Ago
My husband bought some of the silver balls that are used in the book and they are pretty amazing. If you are looking for some I would recommend these as they are surgical stainless steel and easy to clean. Check out the link below to see the listing on Amazon.

http://amzn.to/KndG3J (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2FKndG3J)

Kate Rlikes this.




What if they get lost inside? Hey, a few months back we had a man brought into the department with a dild0 stuck inside him, so I sure as heck wouldn't trust where two little balls could end up! :oo:

[~Ally~]

They're selling these novels in the convenience store in the lobby of my office building! Talk about going mainstream. I think I'd be a bit embarrassed to buy one of these where my co-workers might see me.

Why, because the writing sucks or the subject matter? I'd go for the former...for once I don't jest!

[cat in a bag]

Oh my good gravy...my poor Midwestern naivete doesn't know what to think about all that! :eek2:

[randallFlaggfan1]

Then I realized she was self-published.


Oh, really?? I hadn't realized that..

[Todash]

Why does that kill your plan? Because she is RAKING in the dough!

I know ... but I think it's a fluke. I see those self-published books on Amazon all the time, and most of them just seem to be languishing in a sad little space. If I had to come up with a plot, mine wouldn't do any better. (Sad to know the limits of your own talent, but that is mine: things that sound decent in my head look dumb as a box of hammers on paper, and I can never come up with a satisfactory conclusion.)

Now, while in this case I wouldn't have to come up with a plot and can pretty much guarantee at least a fun read ... I think her evil plan worked because she already had a fanfic following, piggybacking off Twilight—and she set the ebook price at $10, a pretty crazy amount to charge for a self-published ebook, which worked partially because it just helped her get more money and partially because not setting your price too low is a psychological trick to make your goods seem worthwhile.

On the other hand ... it's not like I want to be independently wealthy. I just want to finish the basement and buy some furniture.

[~Ally~]

Oh my good gravy...my poor Midwestern naivete doesn't know what to think about all that! :eek2:

My advice? Don't think about it.

[Todash]

What if they get lost inside? Hey, a few months back we had a man brought into the department with a dild0 stuck inside him, so I sure as heck wouldn't trust where two little balls could end up! :oo:I thought about that ... but I think (hidden for those of a delicate constitution) the cervix would keep them within the confined area of the vagina, where they could be fairly easily fished out.

[Shasta]

Why, because the writing sucks or the subject matter? I'd go for the former...for once I don't jest!

A new girl at my work had it sitting on her desk and I told her she was brave. It was definitely because of the subject matter!

While not stellar by any means, I thought some of the writing was amusing.

[~Ally~]

I thought about that ... but I think (hidden for those of a delicate constitution) the cervix would keep them within the confined area of the vagina, where they could be fairly easily fished out.

I dunno though, I've also encountered girls with tampons and condoms stuck up there which have needed to be removed in hospital.

[Shasta]

On the other hand ... it's not like I want to be independently wealthy. I just want to finish the basement and buy some furniture.

Well I'll buy a book from you! Just let me know when and where.

But I do agree. It HAS to be a fluke. There's so many books out there with the exact same sex base. I wish I knew what the secret to the fluke was, though.

[Shasta]

Here, Shasta, this is for you. In case you thought I was kidding about the Amazon.com thing.



Kate R

2 Weeks Ago
My husband bought some of the silver balls that are used in the book and they are pretty amazing. If you are looking for some I would recommend these as they are surgical stainless steel and easy to clean. Check out the link below to see the listing on Amazon.

http://amzn.to/KndG3J (http://www.stephenking.com/forums/redirector.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Famzn.to%2FKndG3J)

Kate Rlikes this.



I believed you! And now my eyeballs have jumped out of my head and run away. Dang.

[Todash]

I've read that but I am wondering what fan forum they came from. We definitely don't have those kinds of discussions in this fan forum. Or maybe we do and I'm just not invited.....
I looked through all the groups and didn't find anything. So I don't have the secret password either. UNLESS … It might be in code. It's in code, isn't it?

Come on, guys. Shasta and I are cool; you can tell us. WE WON'T TELL A SOUL. Will we, Shasta?

Pinky swear.

[Todash]

I dunno though, I've also encountered girls with tampons and condoms stuck up there which have needed to be removed in hospital.

There but for the grace of God, I suppose.

:rofl:

[champ1966]

I'll wait for the graphic novel to come out :eek2:

[Todash]

Shasta's right. This thread is 50 shades of awesome.

[randallFlaggfan1]

I know ... but I think it's a fluke. I see those self-published books on Amazon all the time, and most of them just seem to be languishing in a sad little space. If I had to come up with a plot, mine wouldn't do any better. (Sad to know the limits of your own talent, but that is mine: things that sound decent in my head look dumb as a box of hammers on paper, and I can never come up with a satisfactory conclusion.)

Now, while in this case I wouldn't have to come up with a plot and can pretty much guarantee at least a fun read ... I think her evil plan worked because she already had a fanfic following, piggybacking off Twilight—and she set the ebook price at $10, a pretty crazy amount to charge for a self-published ebook, which worked partially because it just helped her get more money and partially because not setting your price too low is a psychological trick to make your goods seem worthwhile.

On the other hand ... it's not like I want to be independently wealthy. I just want to finish the basement and buy some furniture.

For me, I think self-published books can go either way. There are some that are poorly written, while with others, it's evident that the writer actually cares about the quality of their work, and would more than likely sever a limb than produce such mindless drivel (okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but perhaps it needs to be..)

[momone53]

Now, that would be funny!

[~Ally~]

I finished it.

That is all.

[Todash]

For me, I think self-published books can go either way. There are some that are poorly written, while with others, it's evident that the writer actually cares about the quality of their work, and would more than likely sever a limb than produce such mindless drivel (okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but perhaps it needs to be..)
Oh, sure, a writer could be awesome and be self-published. Give me a month and I could produce 50 Shades of Gray: Now With 78% Less Suck! all by my lonesome. And it would be readable AND hot. But most self-published works, all I have to do is read the description to know I won't like it. Also, I think in this case "mindless drivel" is just about right.

[Todash]

I finished it.

That is all.
Oh no you don't! We need feedback, missy. :tongue:

[~Ally~]

Oh no you don't! We need feedback, missy. :tongue:

Well, I decided to stick it out until I reached the first sex scene to see what all the ooh~la~la fuss was about...and all I ended up with was vanilla sex! Which of course meant I decided to read until the ben and jerry's mix em up sex scenes...which just weren't fruity enough. Big Sigh. The whole book was like peeking at a teenager's diary, which is usually only interesting to the one living/writing it.

The lead lady is a whiny, petulant, sulky, green~eyed monster kid who talks to her inner goddess and subconscious more than the guy she is constantly pining over. We are expected to believe she's a virgin that doesn't even pleasure herself, yet she immediately starts banging this guy in a "get yer freak on" way. Ooh and she has no gag reflex despite no previous BJ/sex experience. Bonus, or bollocks, whatevuh! The male lead is a controlling narcissistic stalker, which is meant to be endearing because he is rich, yet if he was yer average joe he would be classed as insane. The book would be half the size if the writer removed the constant references to him tilting her chin and kissing her, telling her not to bite her lip, and constantly re~addressing the dom/sub rules.

Anyway, I'm starting to rant. I read it and can truly say I hated it. Right now I am seriously questioning why/how so many of my female friends are turned on by these books? And not just singles gals, but those in long term relationships also. I'm guessing they are missing something because I truly can't see the attraction to the characters, scenarios, and especially the sex, which is described in an extremely unsexy way! Blah, blah, blah, blah and blah. Vanilla indeed.

[Dana Jean]

Tell us what you really think. :laugh:


Well, I decided to stick it out until I reached the first sex scene to see what all the ooh~la~la fuss was about...and all I ended up with was vanilla sex! Which of course meant I decided to read until the ben and jerry's mix em up sex scenes...which just weren't fruity enough. Big Sigh. The whole book was like peeking at a teenager's diary, which is usually only interesting to the one living/writing it.

The lead lady is a whiny, petulant, sulky, green~eyed monster kid who talks to her inner goddess and subconscious more than the guy she is constantly pining over. We are expected to believe she's a virgin that doesn't even pleasure herself, yet she immediately starts banging this guy in a "get yer freak on" way. Ooh and she has no gag reflex despite no previous BJ/sex experience. Bonus, or bollocks, whatevuh! The male lead is a controlling narcissistic stalker, which is meant to be endearing because he is rich, yet if he was yer average joe he would be classed as insane. The book would be half the size if the writer removed the constant references to him tilting her chin and kissing her, telling her not to bite her lip, and constantly re~addressing the dom/sub rules.

Anyway, I'm starting to rant. I read it and can truly say I hated it. Right now I am seriously questioning why/how so many of my female friends are turned on by these books? And not just singles gals, but those in long term relationships also. I'm guessing they are missing something because I truly can't see the attraction to the characters, scenarios, and especially the sex, which is described in an extremely unsexy way! Blah, blah, blah, blah and blah. Vanilla indeed.

[~Ally~]

Tell us what you really think. :laugh:

It's funny, that's exactly what one of my friends just said to me on FB. :wink2: I am making it my mission over there to discourage real women from reading this nonsense! The general consensus seems to be that these gals are intrigued by Grey's character, and that's the only reason they continue reading these poor books. Interesting. Not.

[not_nadine]

Is this going to be a movie? err. I read that the author is making over a million dollars a week. Could this even be possible? :mad2:

[Todash]

It's funny, that's exactly what one of my friends just said to me on FB. :wink2: I am making it my mission over there to discourage real women from reading this nonsense! The general consensus seems to be that these gals are intrigued by Grey's character, and that's the only reason they continue reading these poor books. Interesting. Not.
Ah, yes, the fascinating, believable character of a 27-year-old billionaire who (I read this on another site so correct me if I'm wrong) is a concert-level pianist, an experienced pilot, a fluent speaker of French, charitable to the extreme, impossibly handsome and self-assured, and let us not forget, possessed of a magically transcendent, larger than life, angels-break-into-a-Hallelujah-chorus-when-he-drops-trou penis. Oh, and he never actually has to do anything work-related, so he has plenty of time to devote to Anastasia. Yep. I can see how a character that well-drawn, that complex, that unlike any character ever before written (except for perhaps every hero of every cheesy romance novel ever but hey besides that totally unique) would be super compelling.

[Shasta]

VANILLA SEX, Ally??? Vanilla? My goodness. I'd hate to see Rocky Road sex!!

And, yes, we are cool and I swear we won't tell the code!!

[highland.hermit]

urgh im sick of hearing/reading/seeing this book where ever i go. how does trash get fast tracked into publication when good authors or books get subjected to lots of rejections before they get accepted.
i recently found a copy of shades of ****e left on my bookshelf after my parents visited. im ashamed of my dad, i looked up to him thinking he read good books. but now i discover he reads trash. i soon got rid of that book and got some sucker to pay me 3 quid for removing garbage from my home.
anyhoo. im off to read anne rices beauty trilogy now. lol

[Shasta]

It's funny, that's exactly what one of my friends just said to me on FB. :wink2: I am making it my mission over there to discourage real women from reading this nonsense! The general consensus seems to be that these gals are intrigued by Grey's character, and that's the only reason they continue reading these poor books. Interesting. Not.

That's what I was TRYING to do but did you listen? No. You read it anyway.

His character? That he wants to h*mp and abuse his mommma? Um....not attractive in my eyes!

Though they may not have gotten to that yet in book one. I can't remember.

[~Ally~]

Is this going to be a movie? err. I read that the author is making over a million dollars a week. Could this even be possible? :mad2:

Yup, the movie rights have already been sold.

I read this "interview" with the author yesterday. http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fifty-shades-of-grey-author-e-946696

I hope Ryan Gosling doesn't take on the role, otherwise I will feel obliged to watch him and all his raawwwrrrrness! :down:

[Todash]

urgh im sick of hearing/reading/seeing this book where ever i go. how does trash get fast tracked into publication when good authors or books get subjected to lots of rejections before they get accepted.
i recently found a copy of shades of ****e left on my bookshelf after my parents visited. im ashamed of my dad, i looked up to him thinking he read good books. but now i discover he reads trash. i soon got rid of that book and got some sucker to pay me 3 quid for removing garbage from my home.
anyhoo. im off to read anne rices beauty trilogy now. lolIt was self-published. :biggrin2:

[highland.hermit]

self published......im not surprised, from what ive read by good book reviewers its not very well written. im saddened at the dumbing down of people that they all clammer to pay for this garbage

[~Ally~]

i recently found a copy of shades of ****e left on my bookshelf after my parents visited. im ashamed of my dad, i looked up to him thinking he read good books. but now i discover he reads trash.

Did you ask your Dad if the book was his? In my experience it's mainly women that are reading this book. It may not be a nice suggestion to ponder but maybe your parents both wanted to read it? :dunno: Apparently people have been using it as a guide to inject some spice into their marriages.

Shasta; I know I should have listened to you, me dear...I is a foolish foolish gal. But I have learned from my mistake. Eeewwww noooooo, his mommy desire was not revealed in the first book. Now I am even more repulsed that my friends could enjoy this trash. :barf:

[misterhamtastic]

I have not read this book, and can only comment as the spouse of one who is reading it, well, now the second. My wife was very inexperienced sexually, and I had encouraged her to slowly add to our bedroom menu. If nothing else can be said, the alt-sex relationship made her ask to try a few novel things, to include submission and such. While I taught her some less severe ways of doing things like bondage, such as holing a ribbon during sex to simulate being bound, yet maintaining control. On this basis, I see it favorably, if not my cup of tea. I think anyone "stuck" sexually in simple fare, that finds themselves wanting non-porn ways of expanding their interests, would do well with this series.

[misterhamtastic]

Is this going to be a movie? err. I read that the author is making over a million dollars a week. Could this even be possible? :mad2:

From where I sit-people don't want complex entertainment. They want pretty basic, brainless tripe. If this is that, then of course it's a success.

[highland.hermit]

my mums not much of a reader. the rare time she reads its likely to be lena kennedy or something like that. she never even finished reading captain correlis mandolin when the book was given to her years ago.

[~Ally~]

I think anyone "stuck" sexually in simple fare, that finds themselves wanting non-porn ways of expanding their interests, would do well with this series.

Yar, I found the sex scenes boring...sorry, I mean, vanilla! They did nothing to excite me.
I'd rather watch a bit of porn. Yee~haw! :y:

[not_nadine]

I wonder if SK has even bothered to comment on this book.

[jacobtlong]

Umm... never read this book and never will. But some folks I know were talking about it on Facebook. This book was banned in libraries down here in Mobile. If it weren't for this book getting banned I'd probably never have heard of it. But I suppose that's just the way things always work for me.

[~Ally~]

I wonder if SK has even bothered to comment on this book.

Yeh, he emailed me earlier to confirm his unequivocal agreement with my opinions. He gave me permission to pass on his sentiments; "It's literary ****e and I wouldn't even insult my ass cheeks by ripping it up and using it as toilet paper" were his exact words! But please, don't quote him on that. The man is discreet and private when it comes to criticising fellow authors. Just ask Stephenie Meyer. :devil:

[Todash]

self published......im not surprised, from what ive read by good book reviewers its not very well written. im saddened at the dumbing down of people that they all clammer to pay for this garbage

It's certainly awful, from the excerpts I've read. I have to wonder, however (especially having read comments by the author that this book has gotten people interested in reading who previously weren't), if many of the people who are enjoying this book really haven't read for pleasure* before.

Because I know I've said it in a joking manner, but actually I'm quite serious: these characters are much like the one-dimensional characters in a typical romance novel, of which I read quite a few as a young girl before I became sick of the sameness of it all. The men are always rich, handsome (or at least interestingly craggy/chiseled), imperious, and older/more experienced than the heroine. The heroine is always beautiful, thin—I do remember once reading a Harlequin that had a slightly chubby heroine, but as she fell in love and forgot to eat and whatnot, she had attained thinness by the time she and the craggy hero were making the beast with two backs—young, virginal, innocent, dewy-eyed. And the conflict, outside the ubiquitous sexual tension, usually revolves around a misunderstanding that could be resolved with a simple conversation: "Oh you're hot for me? And available? Awesome. I am also hot for you and available. Sexytimes!"

Anyway, my thinking is that maybe this sad little generic cardboard-tasting cookie of a book is just a first exposure* for a lot of new readers and that, as time goes on, they will realize a novel can be both engaging AND well-written.

*Double entendre not intended. Seriously.

[Bryan James]

"I wonder if SK has even bothered to comment on this book."

He learned that lesson.

[Todash]

From where I sit-people don't want complex entertainment. They want pretty basic, brainless tripe. If this is that, then of course it's a success.

Sometimes I want brainless tripe myself. But even brainless tripe should be fun.

I suppose if you had a drink every time you read "oh my!" ... that would be kind of fun.

[~Ally~]

I suppose if you had a drink every time you read "oh my!" ... that would be kind of fun.

Yar, you are speaking suspiciously like somebody who has read the book.
Is there something you would care to share, dear? :eyebrow:

[Todash]

Yar, you are speaking suspiciously like somebody who has read the book.
Is there something you would care to share, dear? :eyebrow:

LOL ... I found the first 5 chapters online and skimmed it, and then I went searching for the naughty bits and found a blog post that contained the juiciest ones. But mostly I'm going off what Shasta said. My conscience is clean.

I have to confess that if it were lying around I would probably read it, in the same way that I read most any printed material lying around.

[Shasta]

Shasta; I know I should have listened to you, me dear...I is a foolish foolish gal. But I have learned from my mistake. Eeewwww noooooo, his mommy desire was not revealed in the first book. Now I am even more repulsed that my friends could enjoy this trash. :barf:

Oh yes. Apparently Anastasia (is that right? Lord, I can't even remember her name!) looks JUST like his mother - as do all his other subs. It's really gross.

So now you (and everyone else) take me expert advice AND GO READ "SHADES OF GREY" by Jasper Fforde. Seriously. Then every time you hear the word grey you will think about something pleasant instead of how much time you wasted. DO IT.

[~Ally~]

Oh yes. Apparently Anastasia (is that right? Lord, I can't even remember her name!) looks JUST like his mother - as do all his other subs. It's really gross.

What a sicko! I'm tempted to read the next book now just so I can be mightily and haughtily disgusted all over again! :biggrin2:

*Hey, I never claimed to be normal.*

[Todash]

Oh yes. Apparently Anastasia (is that right? Lord, I can't even remember her name!) looks JUST like his mother - as do all his other subs. It's really gross.

MOMMY ISSUES? Ew. That squicks me right out. I read somewhere that she said these were essentially her fantasies that she wrote down ... so apparently she wants a hot billionaire dom with an Oedipal complex.

Me, I'd settle for some ice cream right now, but I'm a simple girl myself.

[OCSOUTHERNGIRL430]

I don't know if I ever will read this book. I don't understand the hype. Kudos to those willing to read it. I'd rather read King and go on with my life.

[Unregistered]

It sounds exactly like The Twilight Saga. I wish authors could come up with something that hasn't been done before.

[pammi2003]

All the people I know who are giving this book the highest of praise are the ones that consider Twilight to be the greatest book ever.
Um, no. I think Uncle stevie would give the side eye to any of his true fans are reading this smut.

Plus, I rather watch porn :biggrin2:
I rather watch porn anyways.

[champ1966]

One of the comics,passing themselves off as a newspaper,over here have predicted a baby boom in 9 months because of women reading this book.What tosh

[~Ally~]

One of the comics,passing themselves off as a newspaper,over here have predicted a baby boom in 9 months because of women reading this book.What tosh

Have you been reading The Sun again? Ooh, you very naughty boy! :wink2: Is that what they said? Haha, well I won't be one of the baby boomers, say sorry. And not just because I'm single, but the first book was damn unsexy and not a turn on! I still don't see the attraction. Maybe I should try the second book...:devil:

[johnski]

Not my cup of coffee, I prefer books that have a decent story that you can read and understand :D

[champ1966]

Have you been reading The Sun again?

Hey Ally I've actually managed to not set my eyes on a single copy of "The Sun on Sunday" I was a bit sick then

[~Ally~]

Ahh, the true meaning of "saucy!" :eyebrow:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fifty-shades-of-grey-reader-attacked-1138738

[aliphil]

well i have actually just read the first one and i would say they are not really that well written but the explicit nature of the books is good. they say it was written by a woman but as i have read a load of erotica novels in the past (mostly black lace ones) i would say it was mild compared to some i have read lately. i am hoping that the second book is as good as they are all making out as my hubby has got me the other 2. the one thing i can say about the books is that me and my hubby were gong through a wee bit of a slump in the bedroom and in our relationship and i can safely say after reading this book myself then him reading it we have connected again. what must be a good thing ??? oh and as for the ending of the first book i did get emotional and cry (alot) so it couldn't of been that bad if i invested my time in to the character of and and felt so bad for her at the end and her emotional split from mr grey x

[charmed_one3]

I've noticed that WalMart has the book wrapped in plastic. :laugh: So I never had the chance to flip through the book until yesterday at a Kroger's grocery store. And from what I read, it made me blush a bit.

[Shasta]

I've noticed that WalMart has the book wrapped in plastic. :laugh: So I never had the chance to flip through the book until yesterday at a Kroger's grocery store. And from what I read, it made me blush a bit.

It made me blush a lot too. My grandma is the next in my family to read it. I can't wait to hear her opinion!

[fljoe0]

I've noticed that WalMart has the book wrapped in plastic. :laugh: So I never had the chance to flip through the book until yesterday at a Kroger's grocery store. And from what I read, it made me blush a bit.

Wrapping it in plastic probably increases the sales.:grinning:

[fredthe3rd]

I find the titles of the rip offs like Eighty Days Yellow quite amusing.

[bugaboosy]

i made the mistake of reading it...now theres a couple of hours i will never get back! its just girl meets boy ..boy is all screwed up but likes rough naughty adult time...she is near perfect virgin who seems to be able to orgasim on cue! (if i can say that on here?) then they fall madly in love and he changes for her and becomes just like her...annoying pathetic and bland

[Neesy]

It seems every time I turn around I'm hearing something about this trilogy of books by E L James. I didn't think they sounded like my cup of tea, but they seem to be so popular right now.

This was copied and pasted from Amazon, it gives a little blurb about each book:

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY: When college student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly Ana realizes she wants this man, and Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian’s secrets and explores her own desires.

FIFTY SHADES DARKER: Daunted by Christian’s dark secrets and singular tastes, Ana has broken off their relationship to start a new career. But desire for Christian still dominates her every waking thought. They rekindle their searing sensual affair, and while Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Ana is forced to make the most important decision of her life.

FIFTY SHADES FREED: Now, Ana and Christian have it all—love, passion, intimacy, wealth, and a world of possibilities for their future. But Ana knows that loving her Fifty Shades will not be easy, and that being together will pose challenges that neither of them would anticipate. Just when it seems that their strength together will eclipse any obstacle, misfortune, malice, and fate conspire to turn Ana’s deepest fears into reality.


​Has anyone here read them? What did you think?
I have read only the first one so far. I found it quite titillating (hope I spelled that right!) and actually easy to read. I thought it was well written. I am waiting for the second installment through my local library. The first one leaves you hanging (excuse the pun) so that you want to read the second book

[ashiepoo84]

I read the first one. I was not impressed. I found myself laughing through most of it. I have the other 2 on my reader and will most likely read them at some point.

[Neesy]

Ahh, the true meaning of "saucy!" :eyebrow:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fifty-shades-of-grey-reader-attacked-1138738
To me, the best part of the whole story is where they say she was attacked by her boyfriend who was using "brown sauce". I remember first trying that in London and thought it was a strange name for a sauce.

[Neesy]

I must be sexually frustrated or something (my husband is way up North in Baker Lake, Nunavut) :umm:but I did get some enjoyment out of this book. It is at least better than Danielle Steele. Someone left one of her books in our coffee room and I picked it up and started reading it. Holy Cow! Melodramatic or what? How she sold 590 million copies of anything is beyond me. There must be 590 million people out there with bad taste.

[~Ally~]

I've noticed that WalMart has the book wrapped in plastic. :laugh:


Wrapping it in plastic probably increases the sales.:grinning:

10/10 for the guy who dreamt up this marketing strategy! :y: :y:

http://p.twimg.com/Ax__x9tCAAEwsIr.jpg:large

[cat in a bag]

10/10 for the guy who dreamt up this marketing strategy! :y: :y:

http://p.twimg.com/Ax__x9tCAAEwsIr.jpg:large


:rofl:

[Shasta]

10/10 for the guy who dreamt up this marketing strategy! :y: :y:

http://p.twimg.com/Ax__x9tCAAEwsIr.jpg:large

HA HA HA HA! Ingenious.

[~Ally~]

HA HA HA HA! Ingenious.

I know, right? Nothing like a bit of subliminal suggestion. :wink2:

[not_nadine]

That is awesome, Ally. Thanks for sharing :laugh:

[Donna C.]

I haven't read them, and the comment "not well written" is enough to turn off any interest I might have had in the erotic content. There is plenty of good erotica if that is one's preference.

[not_nadine]

Yeah, Fifty Shades of NAY, for me. I am sure it the talk of the junior high set, when they sniped it from mom's drawer.

[nygene40]

A friend of mine read them and said she thought they were "hot". I can't be bothered.

I did read the "Sleeping Beauty" books by Anne Rice (writing under a pseudonym back when I read them) and I thought they were pretty sexy in parts, and well written.

I'm waiting for the Pixar cartoons of 50 Shades... to come out.

[Lily Sawyer]

The BDSM subject matter of 50 Shades was enough for me to say "pass". It's not a turn-on and never will be, and the trilogy of book blurbs about all three in the series are a tip-off that this is a literary relationship that puts the fun back into dysfunction.

The names were also a huge turn-off. They sound like stripper names. (The name of your first pet + the name of the street where you lived as a kid = your instant poledancer moniker.)

P.S. Barfly name = the very first thing you had to eat today + the name of your favorite drink (it can't be "beer" or "wine" - go for the label name)
Mine, established when I was staying in a hotel room with nothing to eat except what I'd brought with me on the road, is Frito Mojito.

[not_nadine]

Bitsy Twelfth
Cracker Barefoot

[Shasta]

P.S. Barfly name = the very first thing you had to eat today + the name of your favorite drink (it can't be "beer" or "wine" - go for the label name)
Mine, established when I was staying in a hotel room with nothing to eat except what I'd brought with me on the road, is Frito Mojito.

Toast Hoegarden.

Hm.

[Dana Jean]

Stripper name -- Lady D Street

And my barfly name of the day:

Lil' Smokies Frappuccino

[not_nadine]

:laugh: Lil' Smokies

[Patricia A]

Stripper name, Gypsy Carlisle.
Barfly name, Banana Light Beer.

I still haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey and I don't plan on it. I have noticed a lot of spin off books tho, like the "Fifty Shades of Chicken" cookbook. It features a trussed up roasting hen. Really? Really.
I was thinking about whipping up a little spin off book too, I was thinking maybe, Fifty Shades of Gravy. Grand spanking idea!

[fredthe3rd]

Has anyone read The Dice Man? That's not one to read on the bus I'm telling you! I had no idea when I picked it up!

[atomicinchworm]

They are terribly written books that very accurately, but I suspect unintentionally, represent an abusive relationship, as well as bad, Mary Sueish characters.

While the BDSM in the books is not done safely (and is pretty mild), BDSM isn't the abuse I am talking about. This book also represents people that are into BDSM as abused, abusive people, which is typically untrue. E.L.James poorly, if at all, researched a sub-culture she isn't into and grossly misrepresented it.

E.L.James is a plagiarist (of Twilight, of all things) and a bad, bad writer, and I would really like these books to just go away.

[smooth operator]

Stripper name = Dixie Pearl (not bad)
Barfly name = Lucky Charms Cuervo

I haven't read FSOG either. Not really in a hurry to. I heard that the writing is not that great. If I want to read about S & M, I can always read Exit To Eden (Anne Rice) again.

[SusanNorton]

I don't know. I was visiting my sister-in-law this weekend (she'd just had an inpatient procedure, and is really stupid and mean, but I digress...), and in the presence of my 12-year-old daughter (who still plays with Legos) asked me, "Well, you're the big reader. Have you read 50 Shades of Grey yet?" And I said "no," hoping she wouldn't go on about it, which she did. How it was hot, and how she heard about it from her daughter, and didn't like to read but was listening to it in her car on the way to and from work. I just nodded my head and said, "Oh, that's nice," instead of saying, "Well, if you and your daughter want to listen to wank material in your cars, that's just wonderful."

[kingricefan]

I don't know. I was visiting my sister-in-law this weekend (she'd just had an inpatient procedure, and is really stupid and mean, but I digress...), and in the presence of my 12-year-old daughter (who still plays with Legos) asked me, "Well, you're the big reader. Have you read 50 Shades of Grey yet?" And I said "no," hoping she wouldn't go on about it, which she did. How it was hot, and how she heard about it from her daughter, and didn't like to read but was listening to it in her car on the way to and from work. I just nodded my head and said, "Oh, that's nice," instead of saying, "Well, if you and your daughter want to listen to wank material in your cars, that's just wonderful."

She heard about it from her daughter???? :eek2:

[kingricefan]

Stripper name = Dixie Pearl (not bad)
Barfly name = Lucky Charms Cuervo

I haven't read FSOG either. Not really in a hurry to. I heard that the writing is not that great. If I want to read about S & M, I can always read Exit To Eden (Anne Rice) again.

Whatever you do, DO NOT watch the Exit To Eden movie- they turned it into a comedy (not really even funny) starring Dan Ackroyd and Rosie O'Donnel!!!! Picture Rosie in a bustier and fishnets..... Have you read Belinda by Rampling/Rice? That's a good one, too.

[mustangclaire]

Not reading through the whole thread here, but I won't be picking up 50 Shades anytime soon. I call it 50 Shades of sh1te. Frustrated housewife Mummy Porn. Try having the real thing instead of reading about it. Much better. I have at least 3 mates who don't jiggy much with the husband anymore, but love these books. Really? You want to be tied up and whipped and stuff I shan't mention on here, but don't want to have sex with your husband?? Really??!!! Much better stuff out there if you want to read something of that genre IMO, much better written stuff....Sorry for the rant!

[doowopgirl]

Not reading through the whole thread here, but I won't be picking up 50 Shades anytime soon. I call it 50 Shades of sh1te. Frustrated housewife Mummy Porn. Try having the real thing instead of reading about it. Much better. I have at least 3 mates who don't jiggy much with the husband anymore, but love these books. Really? You want to be tied up and whipped and stuff I shan't mention on here, but don't want to have sex with your husband?? Really??!!! Much better stuff out there if you want to read something of that genre IMO, much better written stuff....Sorry for the rant!
I couldn't agree more. The space between your ears is the best place to go for stuff.

[Todash]

They are terribly written books that very accurately, but I suspect unintentionally, represent an abusive relationship, as well as bad, Mary Sueish characters.

While the BDSM in the books is not done safely (and is pretty mild), BDSM isn't the abuse I am talking about. This book also represents people that are into BDSM as abused, abusive people, which is typically untrue. E.L.James poorly, if at all, researched a sub-culture she isn't into and grossly misrepresented it.

E.L.James is a plagiarist (of Twilight, of all things) and a bad, bad writer, and I would really like these books to just go away.

You realize that we now all suspect you're a dom, right? :rofl:

[atomicinchworm]

I'm a sub, actually. :D

[weezergirl]

I thought I was the only chick on the entire planet that didn't read those books...and I shan't either! :P

[Patricia A]

I gave up on writing my Fifty Shades of Gravy spin off cookbook. I didn't even finish the safe word sauce. I'm weak, somebody spank me please. :rolleyes:

Seriously though, I don't get that stuff. I'm afraid I'd giggle too much to get worked up in that special way to participate in such shenanagree. I don't understand the role playing thing at all, you are you and I am me, why don't we do it in the road? Simple. Sex, if I remember correctly, is waaaaaaaaaay good enough on it's own without bells and whistles... whips and chains either for that matter.
Mind you, I am not judging. :wink2:

[cat in a bag]

I gave up on writing my Fifty Shades of Gravy spin off cookbook. I didn't even finish the safe word sauce. I'm weak, somebody spank me please. :rolleyes:


:rofl::rofl: Oh, Patricia! That is funny stuff right there. Thank you!

[Todash]

I don't understand the role playing thing at all, you are you and I am me, why don't we do it in the road? That seems dangerous. I do not approve.

[Patricia A]

That seems dangerous. I do not approve.
Well... I have never actually done it in the road. I most likely never will either, seeing as how I have sworn off tequila. Just kinda paraphrasing the Beatles there. Thanks Todash. :rofl:

I want to tell y'all what happened at work yesterday. A lady called the store and asked me if I'd hold a set of the 50 Shades books for her. I told her I'd be happy to. She then asked me if we gave discounts if the books were being bought as a donation for charity. She said she had been made aware that our store does a lot of that sort of thing.
I asked her for more details and she said she wanted to make a Valentine's Day themed gift basket for an auction at her church. :eek2:

I immediately thought to myself that this could end in tears, but I told her that in order to get her hooked up for donations that she had to submit paperwork that had to go through corporate channels and that we probably could not get that done by the time she needed it, but that I could probably offer her a one time coupon. I then asked her just BTW, if she had read the books, or if she was aware of the content. She said, no but she knew they were really popular and she knew a lot of people were reading them.
I then found a ginger way to ask her if she knew what S&M & Bondage were. She said no. What is that? I cringed as I didn't want to be the one to school her on the subject. I said well, some people enjoy.... some people... well they kinda tie each other up and spank each other and well... you know. She gasped and said NOOO!!! What's wrong with people??!! I could have gotten kicked off the committee!!! Thank you!
She's going to come in today and we're gonna find her something more appropriate for her church auction basket. End of story.

[Patricia A]

One more thing. I'm starting to worry about how much fun I'm having in this thread. :eyebrow:

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa219/plcarmstrong/funny-pictures-6.jpg

[not_nadine]

Oh man, Patrica A! Could you imagine? :laugh:

[~Ally~]

Ooh Purrtricia, you really saved that lady. The idea of auctioning those books in church really tickles me fancy! :rofl: Maybe there would have been a huge bidding war between people too embarrassed to buy the books, but in a situation like that they could plead ignorance about the content. :cool2:

[atomicinchworm]

To be fair, while the BDSM in the books is being made a big deal of, it is very very mild.

Mrs. EL James obviously doesn't have a kinky bone in her body.

On the subject of chruch ladies, my MIL goes to a group reading club once a month, one of them brought the book up and the oldest among them (80s) was the one who had read it. She was like "Well, there was just so much talk about it; I had to see what the big deal was!"

It helps that despite their denomination (Reformed Mormon. I don't know the proper title. Todash would call me a godless heathen about now), they are a pretty open and progressive group of ladies.

[Shasta]

To be fair, while the BDSM in the books is being made a big deal of, it is very very mild.

Mrs. EL James obviously doesn't have a kinky bone in her body.



WHAT?!?! My poor little prudish brain is cringing. I can't even imagine what not mild would be. Nor do I want to!

[~Ally~]

WHAT?!?! My poor little prudish brain is cringing. I can't even imagine what not mild would be. Nor do I want to!

Is that a polite way of requesting she doesn't respond with more details? :devil:

Pee Ess, I told you it was "vanilla"! :wink2:

[Shasta]

Is that a polite way of requesting she doesn't respond with more details? :devil:

Pee Ess, I told you it was "vanilla"! :wink2:

Yes, yes it is.

I know you did but I didn't believe you!

[~Ally~]

I know you did but I didn't believe you!

Hey, the other night I tried to convince my friend's husband I read the first book purely for research purposes. That took some explaining before he believed I wasn't referring to the sex scenes, and I only wanted to be informed when criticising my friends for liking it. Atrocious writing!

[Patricia A]

P.S. The nice church lady came in today, and I showed her the 50 Shades books, just in case. I don't want to censor people's stuff, you know. She was mortified LOL! I took her to the romance section, showed her a few books she might like and set her loose with a 20% off coupon where she opted for some nice Debbie Macomber.
We submitted paperwork for free books for her church charity auction @ Easter and all was tickety boo.

[Todash]

To be fair, while the BDSM in the books is being made a big deal of, it is very very mild.

Mrs. EL James obviously doesn't have a kinky bone in her body.

On the subject of chruch ladies, my MIL goes to a group reading club once a month, one of them brought the book up and the oldest among them (80s) was the one who had read it. She was like "Well, there was just so much talk about it; I had to see what the big deal was!"

It helps that despite their denomination (Reformed Mormon. I don't know the proper title. Todash would call me a godless heathen about now), they are a pretty open and progressive group of ladies.Sigh ... Get it right. Godless heathen pagan pinko commie with antidisestablishmentarianistic tendencies.

Lordy this book (the bits I read of it, anyway) was awful.

[mjs9153]

http://www.newzjunky.com/police/coplog130213slcso.htm Apparently there are other uses for these books than simple reading..

[TheInterloper]

I wish it was like Gerald's game.....

[sarge73]

I read it. Don't love it and don't want to read any more, It's like a teenage love story, gushy w/ sex scenes. Nothing to look forward to, alot of the same over and over again.

[MicahWumbo]

I'm on page 170 of the book and unfortunately, I'm 13.. It may not be your "cup of tea." I love it; you could just imagine the characters, but the life Ana is living in the story is totally unrealistic. I mean, who would agree to being in this kind of environment? I would not. So, if you want something to pass time, I'd recommend it. It depends what kind of stories you like. It includes bondage, too. lol

[FlakeNoir]

I'm on page 170 of the book and unfortunately, I'm 13.. It may not be your "cup of tea." I love it; you could just imagine the characters, but the life Ana is living in the story is totally unrealistic. I mean, who would agree to being in this kind of environment? I would not. So, if you want something to pass time, I'd recommend it. It depends what kind of stories you like. It includes bondage, too. lol

Micah! How is it that 13-year-olds even know what that word means? Sheesh... I must be getting really old. :oops: :biggrin2:

[Anni M]

My sister read bits of "50 Shades of S***"(quoting my son on the title) and said that I wrote better. Better what? Sexytime stuff or just better? Wasn't sure how to take that.;-D
HOWEVER, if Gilbert Gottfried did an audio reading of the entire book rather than just that goofy clip on You Tube, I'd listen.
I need a good laugh!
One more thing. Did anyone see the movie Secretary with Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader?
How about 50 Shades of Plagiarism?
xxoo anni m

[Julia Evseeva]

I tried to read it.
Don't like it. Maybe it's just not mine...

[days be strange]

A girl from school convinced me to read it. The writing was horrible but I found it interesting at first but then it got repetitive.

It basically is them wanting each other, then Anastasia being ashamed, then Christian Grey getting angry, then they make up, rinse and repeat.

[MadamMack]

Yeap that says it all. Maybe the movie will be better.


A girl from school convinced me to read it. The writing was horrible but I found it interesting at first but then it got repetitive.

It basically is them wanting each other, then Anastasia being ashamed, then Christian Grey getting angry, then they make up, rinse and repeat.